haiku (two sharks circle)
contest entry12 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
This surfer should have stopped his nose-bleed beforehand, Yelena.
Just kidding of course. Excellent scary imagery of doom.
Mind you, I have no sympathy, as I'm very jealous of fit, handsome, tanned and young surfers. Serves him right. MWAHA!
Top entry, and I wish you well.
Cheers, Ray xx
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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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This surfer should have stopped his nose-bleed beforehand, Yelena.
Just kidding of course. Excellent scary imagery of doom.
Mind you, I have no sympathy, as I'm very jealous of fit, handsome, tanned and young surfers. Serves him right. MWAHA!
Top entry, and I wish you well.
Cheers, Ray xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for the great review. So sorry for the delay in replying to it. I enjoyed that one - though horror is usually not my theme! (lol)
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Yelena, this is a great haiku about sharks, with dramatic concrete imagery in just 13 syllables. The "water turns red" satori leaves it to the reader to figure out what happened. (I don't know how particular the judges will be, but thought I should mention that a shark is not a mammal but a fish. The contest specifically calls for a haiku about a mammal.) Love, Jeanie
P.S. I see you changed it to include a dolphin, which of course is a mammal.
Note: There are a bunch of "A's" before your title that you may not have noticed.
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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Yelena, this is a great haiku about sharks, with dramatic concrete imagery in just 13 syllables. The "water turns red" satori leaves it to the reader to figure out what happened. (I don't know how particular the judges will be, but thought I should mention that a shark is not a mammal but a fish. The contest specifically calls for a haiku about a mammal.) Love, Jeanie
P.S. I see you changed it to include a dolphin, which of course is a mammal.
Note: There are a bunch of "A's" before your title that you may not have noticed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2014
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Thank you so much for the great review. So sorry for the delay in replying to it. I changed the poem - and it has a dolphin in it, which qualifies for the mammal contest (smile).
