Day Off (Part-1)
First day off in a month, Bob heads for the beach49 total reviews
Comment from Jay Leeward
A great opening which leaves this reader almost frustrated that it had to stop here. I'm looking forward to the next installment. There is a hint of mystery about Ms. Randall, and I'm keen to find out just what you are fore-shadowing here with her. Bob Martin seems a pleasant enough young man, but I haven't really invested in him yet. All in all, you have certainly piqued my interest and I definitely want to read more. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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A great opening which leaves this reader almost frustrated that it had to stop here. I'm looking forward to the next installment. There is a hint of mystery about Ms. Randall, and I'm keen to find out just what you are fore-shadowing here with her. Bob Martin seems a pleasant enough young man, but I haven't really invested in him yet. All in all, you have certainly piqued my interest and I definitely want to read more. Well done!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Jay, for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your Kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Acquired Taste
I know how you feel about breaking up stories - this Part I, however, does encourage the reader to look forward to Part II. I think it's nicely done and want to read more. AT=/
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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I know how you feel about breaking up stories - this Part I, however, does encourage the reader to look forward to Part II. I think it's nicely done and want to read more. AT=/
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I hope you like part two. :-)
Comment from GangGreen
The story so far has held my attention because the hero,Bob has had the progress to his destination altered by a potentially fatal twist of fate.From the accident I was interested how things would turn out for him and tried to guess where the plot would lead as I read, it kept me guessing in other words which is a sign of skillful writing.Libby seems quite mysterious and I am curious to know where their lunch together may lead.p.s the story reads well and the dialogue seems natural.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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The story so far has held my attention because the hero,Bob has had the progress to his destination altered by a potentially fatal twist of fate.From the accident I was interested how things would turn out for him and tried to guess where the plot would lead as I read, it kept me guessing in other words which is a sign of skillful writing.Libby seems quite mysterious and I am curious to know where their lunch together may lead.p.s the story reads well and the dialogue seems natural.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I hope you like part two. :-)
Comment from brightside1099
Nice chapter--even for a half. Your first paragraph grabbed my attention and kept me reading. Everything flows well and I saw no errors to correct. I hope to discover what happens when you post part two.
Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Nice chapter--even for a half. Your first paragraph grabbed my attention and kept me reading. Everything flows well and I saw no errors to correct. I hope to discover what happens when you post part two.
Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Now, I can only hope that you enjoy part two. :-)
Comment from livelylinda
Ric: I'm glad that you added the Author Notes because it seemed to end very suddenly. At this point I want to know what is her deal? And, I feel like the poor guy who got hit is going to be the one paying dearly. I wait anxiously for the next part. Good writing. livelylinda
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Ric: I'm glad that you added the Author Notes because it seemed to end very suddenly. At this point I want to know what is her deal? And, I feel like the poor guy who got hit is going to be the one paying dearly. I wait anxiously for the next part. Good writing. livelylinda
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your king words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy part two. Thanks, :-)
Comment from Selina Stambi
Actually, I like it already, Ric.
You've put your 'quiet' time to wonderful use - your writing has improved immensely. The spags are barely worth mentioning.
So very well done. Look forward to the next part - a duel between a strutting cop and a man with whiplash?? :)
Sonali
"Officer Watson, isn't it(?)" she asked
she continued, "(T)raffic must have stopped all at once
body repair shop (no comma needed here) which he had
recommended
you get a ride?" (t)he officer asked.
"Good day to you(, miss/ma'am), and I
"I think for now,( that - not required) I'm just going to
step into the
wits. But(no comma needed) thanks so much for your offer."
. Actually, it's terrible(,)" Bob said with
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Actually, I like it already, Ric.
You've put your 'quiet' time to wonderful use - your writing has improved immensely. The spags are barely worth mentioning.
So very well done. Look forward to the next part - a duel between a strutting cop and a man with whiplash?? :)
Sonali
"Officer Watson, isn't it(?)" she asked
she continued, "(T)raffic must have stopped all at once
body repair shop (no comma needed here) which he had
recommended
you get a ride?" (t)he officer asked.
"Good day to you(, miss/ma'am), and I
"I think for now,( that - not required) I'm just going to
step into the
wits. But(no comma needed) thanks so much for your offer."
. Actually, it's terrible(,)" Bob said with
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Oh, Sonali, my dear, I'm floating on air. I know I have a long, long way to go. However, just your noticing my improvement gives me confidence that I'm making baby steps. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words, generous review, and the help and suggestions that keep me striving to be better. I would give you a great big hug, but then, you probably would stop helping me. :-)
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:):) Way to go, Ric.
Comment from JennaG
Ok, I'm definitely looking forward to the second part of the story! I'm curious to see what kind of relationship is going to develop between Bob and Libby. I love how you describe the cop's not-so-subtle flirtation with Libby and then how he trips. That was awesome! I also liked the description of the cop when he was frustrated that Bob wouldn't get checked out by the EMT's: "..trying to disguise his aggravation with a sarcastic smile". I can totally picture that in my mind. This was really well written and I can't find anything that needs correcting. I'll be looking forward to Part-2. :)
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Ok, I'm definitely looking forward to the second part of the story! I'm curious to see what kind of relationship is going to develop between Bob and Libby. I love how you describe the cop's not-so-subtle flirtation with Libby and then how he trips. That was awesome! I also liked the description of the cop when he was frustrated that Bob wouldn't get checked out by the EMT's: "..trying to disguise his aggravation with a sarcastic smile". I can totally picture that in my mind. This was really well written and I can't find anything that needs correcting. I'll be looking forward to Part-2. :)
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Titan Black
Well, there is a blessing in every lesson. For, just
when we start taking life for granted, boom! A car
crash... You did a great job in writing this piece.
You held the attention of the reader, from beginning
to end. And I like that. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Well, there is a blessing in every lesson. For, just
when we start taking life for granted, boom! A car
crash... You did a great job in writing this piece.
You held the attention of the reader, from beginning
to end. And I like that. Keep writing.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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I don't mind supporting. And don't forget to stop by my page, and check out and rate some of my poetry. And if you like what you read, click on that "Fan" button. For, it's all about the networking. Stay connected.
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I'm new to poetry and its many styles and structures, but I do read and hope to learn in the near future. I appreciate your taking time out to read my post, and I definite prefer reading those who share their time. I look forward to reading some of your work. :-)
Comment from Emily George
I found the story ended with intrigue and look forward to part 2.
Well written, what a way to meet, I wonder if anything will come of it and if she is an actress.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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I found the story ended with intrigue and look forward to part 2.
Well written, what a way to meet, I wonder if anything will come of it and if she is an actress.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, ricmyworld, you did an excellent job writing this story about the day off and the accident that may lead to some fun in the sun later on. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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this is very well written, ricmyworld, you did an excellent job writing this story about the day off and the accident that may lead to some fun in the sun later on. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much for taking time to read the first part of my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I hope you like part two. :-)
