Dex and Chianti
A pleasant ride in the woods.35 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
Eliding. I have to remember that word. I always have people wanting to correct dialogue. I gave trying to explain that it is how people talk etc. I realized while reading this that there isn't a whole lot that I read here that I actually like. Funny how that takes a back seat in reviewing. I would have read this if it was in a collection of short stories and enjoyed it. So, of course it is well written and all that goes with that. I didn't notice how long it was. I didn't see anything that needed to be changed. None of that entered my mind until I got to this little square. I guess that means this is better than most anything I run across here. Well done. mikey
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Eliding. I have to remember that word. I always have people wanting to correct dialogue. I gave trying to explain that it is how people talk etc. I realized while reading this that there isn't a whole lot that I read here that I actually like. Funny how that takes a back seat in reviewing. I would have read this if it was in a collection of short stories and enjoyed it. So, of course it is well written and all that goes with that. I didn't notice how long it was. I didn't see anything that needed to be changed. None of that entered my mind until I got to this little square. I guess that means this is better than most anything I run across here. Well done. mikey
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Mikey. Yes, reviewers often read myopically. They look for the nits before absorbing the whole picture. People seem to forget that we're trying to entertain first, be perfect second.
Well, enough second-guessing. Thank you again, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from LIJ Red
Something this length I read for entertainment and then peek at the reviews. Yeah. What they said. Are mob thugs
really that bad? No peeing and praying? Excellent.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Something this length I read for entertainment and then peek at the reviews. Yeah. What they said. Are mob thugs
really that bad? No peeing and praying? Excellent.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thank you, LIJ Red. I always appreciate reviewers who remember to enjoy the story. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from barkingdog
Your entry read seamlessly. I was right there with them--even in Bambi-ville.(loved that from a criminal's mind) Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Congrats on your first place ranking. It's about time!!!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Your entry read seamlessly. I was right there with them--even in Bambi-ville.(loved that from a criminal's mind) Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
Congrats on your first place ranking. It's about time!!!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Ellen! Where have you been? Editing your book? I hope you are well.
Thank you for the galaxy, and your comments. I like that you were 'right there'. That sense of 'inclusion' is important to me. The fly on the wall effect.
Thanks so much. Great to hear from you.
Peace, Lee
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Hey there Lee.
Your most welcome.
I hate editing and stopped. I imagine that's why a lot of writers don't publish. Editing ruins the fun of the write.I felt like a naughty school child being punished for passable work. I gave myself a B+ and stashed the experience away. I prefer fooling myself than knowing the truth. Editing is very revealing.
So, I return a wiser fool...
:)e
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Editing is a thankless job. But, Ellen, you have to give yourself credit for finishing your novel. I can't come close. When I write a 4,500 word three-part story, I need therapy. The blank page calls to me.
Glad you're back. Maybe you should consider writing a couple of short pieces before you dive into another novel. Just a thought. L
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I don't think I can go the distance again either. LOL I think my masochistic period is over. I'll take your advice and encouragement and try a few short writes as time permits.
I have a name in my head--Adrian Clark. We'll see if he surfaces or maybe its a she... mmm?
Again, best of luck in the contest.
Have a great weekend. :) e
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Lee...Lee, what am I going to stop reading your stories and admire the characters that you come up with. Excellent entry and I wish you all the best of luck un the contest. There is nothing I can add or criticize in this piece.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Lee...Lee, what am I going to stop reading your stories and admire the characters that you come up with. Excellent entry and I wish you all the best of luck un the contest. There is nothing I can add or criticize in this piece.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Schalk. I think this is shaping up as a tough contest. Glad you enjoyed. Off crutches yet?
Peace, Lee
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Nope, hoping the external fixator comes off middle September, then more rehab in getting to walk properly again.
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Man, it's been a long road. Keep your chin up, bro. You'll come out the other end. L
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Thanx Bro. Exactly six months today.
Comment from irishauthorme
Good story, with a great double ending. And, I learned a new word, 'eliding.' Left a lot of words out in my stories, but never knew what the technique was called.
Believable characters, good story line propelled by killer dialogue. Good luck in the contest!
irish
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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Good story, with a great double ending. And, I learned a new word, 'eliding.' Left a lot of words out in my stories, but never knew what the technique was called.
Believable characters, good story line propelled by killer dialogue. Good luck in the contest!
irish
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2014
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I call it eliding, irish, but usually, it's sheer carelessness. Don't give me away.
As always, friend, I appreciate your comments, and your generosity. I hope you're writing.
Peace, Lee
Comment from mfowler
Hi Lee,
You know, you are way to familiar with these gangster types and the way they talk and act. Either it's first hand experience, or hours of watchin' old movies and reading trashy novels. Makes me wonder. Great dialogue with the rhythm you describe in your notes. Kinda figured the plot early, but that didn't stop me enjoying the ride, Loved the fat man. You loved writing those fat jokes too. Go on, admit it. That was one novel way to get from the prompt to a gangster story. Loved the lot.
Spag: I think, but who knows with these things.
'do much beating, patner.'
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Hi Lee,
You know, you are way to familiar with these gangster types and the way they talk and act. Either it's first hand experience, or hours of watchin' old movies and reading trashy novels. Makes me wonder. Great dialogue with the rhythm you describe in your notes. Kinda figured the plot early, but that didn't stop me enjoying the ride, Loved the fat man. You loved writing those fat jokes too. Go on, admit it. That was one novel way to get from the prompt to a gangster story. Loved the lot.
Spag: I think, but who knows with these things.
'do much beating, patner.'
Comment Written 21-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Glad you enjoyed. I figured the plot would be easy to guess--up until Junior showed up. I was hoping that would be a surprise. And thanks for the spag alert, too. Peace, Lee
Comment from nor84
Abbitti'll be beatin' the bushes for a dead he'll never find. >>>word left out? dead man?
I notice the guys use names almost every time they speak to each other, and that's not usually the way we talk.
Good story and good dialogue too.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Abbitti'll be beatin' the bushes for a dead he'll never find. >>>word left out? dead man?
I notice the guys use names almost every time they speak to each other, and that's not usually the way we talk.
Good story and good dialogue too.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Nor. I agree about the names. I'll do some trimming
before the contest. Always good to post early, and make adjustments. Appreciate the help. Peace, Lee
Comment from Titan Black
I like it! A story filled with treachery, lies,
and deceit. Looks like Junior was the hungriest
and greediest of them all. Nice write. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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I like it! A story filled with treachery, lies,
and deceit. Looks like Junior was the hungriest
and greediest of them all. Nice write. Keep writing.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Titan Black. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Patti R.
Nooo! Not The Happy Wanderer! How could you do that to me? You might as well have used It's a Small, Small World! Shit, now both those songs are going to be in my head for days.
I love your NY talk. I figured that Dex was going to bite it in the end, he wasn't all that smart. And burning down the Glistening Pearl, no, the Pearly Gates was not cool.
I didn't believe him when he said he'd already killed Junior, but I didn't expect Jr. to show up at the tree. So that was the perfect twist ending for me. Your reference to time, counting down the minutes until death do they part was brilliant. I felt like I knew Chianti and Dexter through your excellent dialog. more chins than a Chinese laundry, haven't heard that for a long time!
Once again, Lee your writing leaves me feeling as if I've just watched a film. Your visual descriptions are clear and bring such depth. You can make me 'see' the story.
Loved it!
Patti
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Nooo! Not The Happy Wanderer! How could you do that to me? You might as well have used It's a Small, Small World! Shit, now both those songs are going to be in my head for days.
I love your NY talk. I figured that Dex was going to bite it in the end, he wasn't all that smart. And burning down the Glistening Pearl, no, the Pearly Gates was not cool.
I didn't believe him when he said he'd already killed Junior, but I didn't expect Jr. to show up at the tree. So that was the perfect twist ending for me. Your reference to time, counting down the minutes until death do they part was brilliant. I felt like I knew Chianti and Dexter through your excellent dialog. more chins than a Chinese laundry, haven't heard that for a long time!
Once again, Lee your writing leaves me feeling as if I've just watched a film. Your visual descriptions are clear and bring such depth. You can make me 'see' the story.
Loved it!
Patti
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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I don't know how The Happy Wanderer floated into my head as I wrote that final scene, but it seemed perfect to me. I always thought Pearly Gates would be a great stage name for stripper.
Yeah, I think everybody knew Dex would get it in the end. But Junior's arrival seemed to change the dynamics . . . or not.
Thanks for saying you 'see' my stories like films. I don't describe much, but somehow readers fill in the blanks.
Thanks for another great review. Peace, Lee
Comment from strandregs
The most enjoyable 94 from my favourite loved story teller.
What can I say. I guessed the end sort of . But that didnt diminish my pleasure.
Reminded for some reason of karl may the author of vineto and squash hand.Z.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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The most enjoyable 94 from my favourite loved story teller.
What can I say. I guessed the end sort of . But that didnt diminish my pleasure.
Reminded for some reason of karl may the author of vineto and squash hand.Z.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014
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Thanks for the great review, Z. I think everyone guessed Dex would get it. I was hoping Junior's appearance would be the surprise. Glad you enjoyed. Peace,Lee
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Maybe if junior was buried under the treasure . And came up alive with it?
@: Z.
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Sounds like something Dean would write.
I have a limited imagination. L
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Ha ha
I'll have to start reading dean.
