Comment from janalma

Excellent

I like this appreciation of night. We all need it to let the cares of the day slide away. Your poem is expressive and descriptive. I like the Origami comparison and the thought of 'dark furrows around me.' Makes me think of seeds as they are planted in furrows and then covered.

You have a typo here... 'until dawn peals (peels) back night...'

I also think that the blue is too dark, making it hard to read. I know that you want to evoke night, but some people say they won't even read it if they have to strain their eyes. Just a heads up, in case you didn't know.

Very nice poem.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks for all comments! I'll immediately fix the typo. I tried to use white print but couldn't get the settings to stay fixed. Bright Blessings! caroline

reply by janalma on 18-Aug-2014

When you click on the color you want, you have to go down to the bottom and save it. Otherwise, it won't work. I always use the advanced option. Easier to work with. Jan

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks, Jan--I've done that several times and it's just not working tonight....C

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

A lovely picture to draw the reader into the night with you. From the first lines, you created a mood, an atmosphere of the nocturnal nest. Very descriptive language. Well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks, Janet! caroline

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

This was great. It was like a subliminal message lulling me to slumber - you did your job and in a 'good' way!

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

thanks, Jax! Caroline (and pleasant dreams!)

Comment from lakeport

Excellent

Night, indeed I like to dream, that's a very heratfelt expressed poem, nice flow. I enjoyed reading it. God bless you.lakeport.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks, Lakeport! Caroline

reply by lakeport on 19-Aug-2014

your welcome,Hugs!lakeport.

Comment from mikemagine

Excellent

So very well-worded! The gradual lowering of a heavy dark curtain. It moves at the command of a Supreme being. Gradually, it lifts as the day is slowly revealed. Those first rays of light...! Night and Day are kin...

Great job!

Mike

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks, Mike! Caroline

reply by mikemagine on 19-Aug-2014

Sure thing Caroline!

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

Some like the night
I'll take the day
The moon and her stars
are not enough light
to get the work done

Well done, Buck

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thanks, Buck! I appreciate the poetic response! caroline

reply by Trybuck on 18-Aug-2014

you're welcome

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Some author's notes would help, but I loved the language, but it seemed to be praising the mundane! I don't mean to be downbeat, but as something that is articulate, creating interesting imagery, it was first class, I'm a great fan of things written in great language, and I liked it! Blessings. Roy

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

thank you so much for the specific comments. How can one think of the night as mundane?! (smile). I think what poetry frequently does is try to capture the beauty of what is ordinary. I really appreciate your honesty! Caroline

Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

I can see the outflow of deep emotion from the heart in this work. An emotion depicting a betrayal of love and trust. Yes, it'd happens and it will continue to happen inasmuch as man's heart construction is not written on his face. Nicely rendered. Exquisitely composed. Love LJ

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 Comment Written 18-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014

Thank you so much for the generous comments. Caroline