Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Beautifully described. The night is a special time for me, do a lot of my writing then. Great enjambment. Like how you've arranged your lines. Great write! Les

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, glasstruth! Caroline

Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

This deserves a six. Sorry I do not have one. the verb choices are strong. they are the power that moves this poem. Nice alliteration throughout.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, Dallas! Caroline

reply by DALLAS01 on 22-Aug-2014

You're welcome.

Comment from Emily George

Exceptional

What a lovely view of night your imagery was a delight to the senses.
I particularly loved the origami reference,along with the tie between verse with crease by crease

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, Emily--for both the stars, but mostly for the specific comments. Caroline

Comment from liz10240

Excellent

This poem creates such a calm serene ambiance and your choice of words describing the nights are amazing. My favorite line is
Origami
Each crease sealing in daylight (lovely)
The picture enhances the writing but you almost don't need it as this poem stands strong by itself. Well done, a great write.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, Liz! Caroline

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Origami
Each crease sealing in daylight .. love the imagery


A nocturnal nest holds us
until dawn peels back night

crease by crease ... this one too it fabulous!

Hi Zinnia,

A stunning little piece of free verse. I felt I was outside looking up at the sky on a clear night.

Lovely!

Sonali

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2014

Thanks, sonali. I like the picture of you looking at the sky on a clear night! caroline

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

So enjoyed how the manifestation of the evening arriving took on the characteristics of origami - how original... beautifully visual and really quite calming. I enjoyed this. AT=/

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014

Thanks so much! Caroline

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is a very creative write, zinnia, great imagery presented about night coming like creases in an origami artist folding the pages gently, then unraveling to a new day. I enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014

Thanks, Sweetwoodjax! Caroline

Comment from rrabinow

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your poem. Wonderfully written poem. I like the way you describe how night makes you feel. Great flow to your poem as well.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014

Thanks, rrabiinow! Caroline

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

rock as darkness - excellent consonance
as is dusk cradles
excellent alliteration in the stars slipping passage
effective use of personification throughout
good assonance in deeper/sleep
and alliteration in nocturnal nest
lovely detail that creates a serene mood well
Brooke

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014

Thanks, Brooke! Caroline

Comment from flamingstar

Excellent

Okay, I loved "The moon and I breathe together" and "...until dawn peels back night crease by crease." Had trouble with the "spinning me into slumber" as I would be running for the nearest trashcan. LOL. Rocking, swaying, drifting, maybe????

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014

thanks for the note of humor, Flamingstar! I don't have your spinning issues and regret that it might send you running for a trashcan! Spinning for me is a pleasant experience. However, I loved your comments! Caroline