Not Now
In honor of Robin Williams & all of the Shannons we know31 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent rhyming
good use of the repeating line in delivering your cautionary message
this story poem will resonate with many readers who have either sad this to their children or have memories of childhoods when they were always shunted to the side while the adults in their lives attended to more "pressing business."
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Excellent rhyming
good use of the repeating line in delivering your cautionary message
this story poem will resonate with many readers who have either sad this to their children or have memories of childhoods when they were always shunted to the side while the adults in their lives attended to more "pressing business."
Brooke
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thanks so very much. What you say matters very much to me..
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The message in this poem is clear and filled with meaning. The author's words are creative, thought provoking and heart felt. The artwork is perfect and compliments the theme of this poem.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Excellent Poem! The message in this poem is clear and filled with meaning. The author's words are creative, thought provoking and heart felt. The artwork is perfect and compliments the theme of this poem.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much, Harmony...you said such nice things, and made my day...
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wonderfully written, LoannaLois. A very powerful poetic proclamation portraying the importance of simply taking the time to listen. Sometimes we're required to read between the lines a bit when interpreting the moods and feelings of others. However, if we look and listen closely, we soon learn to be able to tell when a loved one, or a friend...even a complete stranger we might run into while out shopping somewhere, could use an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on.
Excellent work!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Wonderfully written, LoannaLois. A very powerful poetic proclamation portraying the importance of simply taking the time to listen. Sometimes we're required to read between the lines a bit when interpreting the moods and feelings of others. However, if we look and listen closely, we soon learn to be able to tell when a loved one, or a friend...even a complete stranger we might run into while out shopping somewhere, could use an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on.
Excellent work!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Dean. This was personal, so your note meant a lot. Everything you said is spot- on.
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It was my pleasure, Lois. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am just a mouse click away, my friend.:)
Comment from krys123
LoannaLois;
The best gift we have is to listen and how seldom we do that when people are in need just for a splendid and pleasant ear for someone just to listen.
Not getting off the track too much but I had a friend in the 11th grade who committed suicide by burning himself to death. We shared the same locker together for two years In high school. I did listen but he never shared enough for I never got the right key to open up his memories. And I did nothing like tell the principle of his bruises caused by his father beating him. I failed in a way but maybe I was just too young and pretentious of not knowing what actually to do.
Thank you so much for sharing this really great message for all of us to hear and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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LoannaLois;
The best gift we have is to listen and how seldom we do that when people are in need just for a splendid and pleasant ear for someone just to listen.
Not getting off the track too much but I had a friend in the 11th grade who committed suicide by burning himself to death. We shared the same locker together for two years In high school. I did listen but he never shared enough for I never got the right key to open up his memories. And I did nothing like tell the principle of his bruises caused by his father beating him. I failed in a way but maybe I was just too young and pretentious of not knowing what actually to do.
Thank you so much for sharing this really great message for all of us to hear and may the sun always shine on your shoulders.
Alex
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Alex, you didn't fail....Sometimes there is a finite amount of things we can do or say...and being a friend who cared was what you were to do. Blessings...
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Thank you very much my friend you on uplifting soul.
Alex
Comment from drivenbackward
Check punctuation and formatting (spacing). Otherwise, a good poem, and a great last line. That last line hits hard.
"Not now", -- Comma inside quotations.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Check punctuation and formatting (spacing). Otherwise, a good poem, and a great last line. That last line hits hard.
"Not now", -- Comma inside quotations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you so very much...I appreciate your help, too. I had already nominated my 6, but I wanted to thank you....Thank you!
Comment from Mark Valentine
It's a great message. I hope whne people read this they're appreciating, in addition to the message, how well-crafted this poem is. The 2-3 syllable seond lines "and wept", "she prayed', "she waited", "She talked", really convey the sense of her experience, of her persistence in the face of adversity.
The same rhyme used throughout underscores the persistence -we're just waiting for the parents to come to their senses and be a lifeline for Shannon.
This is what happens when great message meets great writer.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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It's a great message. I hope whne people read this they're appreciating, in addition to the message, how well-crafted this poem is. The 2-3 syllable seond lines "and wept", "she prayed', "she waited", "She talked", really convey the sense of her experience, of her persistence in the face of adversity.
The same rhyme used throughout underscores the persistence -we're just waiting for the parents to come to their senses and be a lifeline for Shannon.
This is what happens when great message meets great writer.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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When I want to thank you, I always feel inadequate. Thanks for giving me support and incentive....
If ever I had an ark, I'd take an aardvark and Mark.
Comment from dennis0530
Mis-communication or no communication among family members is often a cause of domestic dis-harmony. Especially in the case of this writing, an immediate response from the parents might have averted a potential disaster. The author has penned it nicely, "You must find time when one in need needs you." I would strongly recommend this as a guideline for parents where it concerns their children.
But for children too, especially the teens, unless an urgency exists, bide time for your parents. Their preoccupation might also have you in priority.
A suggestion if you don't mind:
I suggest to re-format the line "And Shannon made a wise but sound decision.
Here, instead of being complementary, "sound" looks like opposing "wise."
My suggestion: "Then Shannon made a wise AND sound decision."
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Mis-communication or no communication among family members is often a cause of domestic dis-harmony. Especially in the case of this writing, an immediate response from the parents might have averted a potential disaster. The author has penned it nicely, "You must find time when one in need needs you." I would strongly recommend this as a guideline for parents where it concerns their children.
But for children too, especially the teens, unless an urgency exists, bide time for your parents. Their preoccupation might also have you in priority.
A suggestion if you don't mind:
I suggest to re-format the line "And Shannon made a wise but sound decision.
Here, instead of being complementary, "sound" looks like opposing "wise."
My suggestion: "Then Shannon made a wise AND sound decision."
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you again for your wise AND sound decision! I so appreciated the suggestion!
Comment from costellsgirl33
You promote a very good message in this poem. Take the time for the ones you love and simply just listen to them. You can be amazed at what listening can do! I love it.
My best friend tells me all the time what a great listener I am. I take pride in that.
Sometimes people just need to vent, let things out, and they don't need advice, feedback, they just need you to listen.
Listening doesn't cost you anything, not does it hurt. But it could mean everything to the person that is asking you to listen.
Great job
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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You promote a very good message in this poem. Take the time for the ones you love and simply just listen to them. You can be amazed at what listening can do! I love it.
My best friend tells me all the time what a great listener I am. I take pride in that.
Sometimes people just need to vent, let things out, and they don't need advice, feedback, they just need you to listen.
Listening doesn't cost you anything, not does it hurt. But it could mean everything to the person that is asking you to listen.
Great job
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Thank you for taking your time to write. I really appreciate what you said.
Comment from GangGreen
I believe that the man himself would appreciate the message of this excellent and brave poem, brilliantly underlined in the last three lines,as so vital a message should be.Its Readability is enhanced by its strong narrative quality and faultless rhyming scheme. This is worthy homage.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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I believe that the man himself would appreciate the message of this excellent and brave poem, brilliantly underlined in the last three lines,as so vital a message should be.Its Readability is enhanced by its strong narrative quality and faultless rhyming scheme. This is worthy homage.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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You brought humbleness and joy to me...Thank you...so much!
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No problem.
Comment from kiwijenny
Finest advice ever..oh Lo I hope that people listen...especially to their children ...your poem is going to help people ....it needs to be on a bill board somewhere.....powerful for good
God bless...and thanks...I have no sixes left
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Finest advice ever..oh Lo I hope that people listen...especially to their children ...your poem is going to help people ....it needs to be on a bill board somewhere.....powerful for good
God bless...and thanks...I have no sixes left
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Loving you with thanks, L
