Make That Two Orders To-Go
Not exactly a homily.37 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
A brilliantly original "inside story" take on what happened in the Garden of Eden, Lee. Poor Adam is at a total loss. But I'm told that's still the case. And fast food's never been all that healthy, has it? Well done, sir. :) NANCY
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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A brilliantly original "inside story" take on what happened in the Garden of Eden, Lee. Poor Adam is at a total loss. But I'm told that's still the case. And fast food's never been all that healthy, has it? Well done, sir. :) NANCY
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Nancy, I really appreciate the galaxy. I come back to Adam and Eve sometimes. Maybe I should look in on post-Eden A&E sometime. See how they're doing in the real world.
Hey, I like that idea. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment from AAud
If I ever need a good laugh, I know to look for an author who goes by the username, "Humpwhistle"
You are SOOOO funny! And I don't care if this is irreverent or not. It's a riot!
"Chest goiters"! When I read that I cracked up laughing. What a clever, hysterically funny way to describe them! And "a butt like two watermelons rolling downhill." You are SOOOOO funny!
I can't wait to see what happens when "ugly adam" finally takes a bite out of the apple! LOL
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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If I ever need a good laugh, I know to look for an author who goes by the username, "Humpwhistle"
You are SOOOO funny! And I don't care if this is irreverent or not. It's a riot!
"Chest goiters"! When I read that I cracked up laughing. What a clever, hysterically funny way to describe them! And "a butt like two watermelons rolling downhill." You are SOOOOO funny!
I can't wait to see what happens when "ugly adam" finally takes a bite out of the apple! LOL
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thanks again, AAud. You picked out a couple of my favorite lines. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from kiwisteveh
Yeah, they seem to be catching on quick - kinda like teenagers, or more probably pre-teens these days! And how do you use language if you have no experience of anything to base it on -probably a lot of grunting and pointing going on.
Good fun!
Steve
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Yeah, they seem to be catching on quick - kinda like teenagers, or more probably pre-teens these days! And how do you use language if you have no experience of anything to base it on -probably a lot of grunting and pointing going on.
Good fun!
Steve
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thanks once more, Steve (it's housekeeping day). I love the idea of using language to discuss how language didn't yet exist.
I have a theory that as soon as boobs existed language had to blossom. How else could guys compare hooters to melons?
Thanks again, my friend. Peace, Lee
Comment from GeraldS
Interesting piece. I think this actually was more engaging then the homily I listened to this morning. I don't really remember a lot about the homily; it's quite possible that I might have nodded off for a few seconds.
You realize, of course, that some conservative Christian sect may well issue a fatwa on you calling for severe punishment. This is very irreverent, if you believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible. I think, however, that if you are truly intent on replacing the original version of this story with your rewrite, you'll have to flesh this out more. And, at least wait for the invention of the toilet before you have Eve dictating that the toilet seat be left down.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Interesting piece. I think this actually was more engaging then the homily I listened to this morning. I don't really remember a lot about the homily; it's quite possible that I might have nodded off for a few seconds.
You realize, of course, that some conservative Christian sect may well issue a fatwa on you calling for severe punishment. This is very irreverent, if you believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible. I think, however, that if you are truly intent on replacing the original version of this story with your rewrite, you'll have to flesh this out more. And, at least wait for the invention of the toilet before you have Eve dictating that the toilet seat be left down.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Gerald. I kept my 'fable' a bit silly in order to pacify the literal interpreters. Hence the mention of toilet.
Clearly I could not be a threat to them.
My next Adam and Eve story will feature moving day--after the expulsion. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
That's because "It Hasn't showed up yet. Pretty good satire. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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That's because "It Hasn't showed up yet. Pretty good satire. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Charlie. I can't get enough of Adam and Eve. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee. You will enjoy Mark Twain's "Letters from Earth." Charlie
Comment from Domino 2
One thing that really sickens me is the thought of someone picking their nose and eating it, Lee - so thanks for that. :-)
Love the way this starts in such overdone simple terms, but what else could he do till Eve (the other Adam) came along, and he discovered apples?
'the geezer landlord' LOL
Hilarious dialogue and I never knew Adam invented the English DICK-tionary.
I smiled and sniggered all through this one, Lee.
Bravo! Here's a well-deserved sixer, my friend.
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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One thing that really sickens me is the thought of someone picking their nose and eating it, Lee - so thanks for that. :-)
Love the way this starts in such overdone simple terms, but what else could he do till Eve (the other Adam) came along, and he discovered apples?
'the geezer landlord' LOL
Hilarious dialogue and I never knew Adam invented the English DICK-tionary.
I smiled and sniggered all through this one, Lee.
Bravo! Here's a well-deserved sixer, my friend.
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Ray. Sorry about the boogers. But it was essential to character development, see?
Thanks so much for stopping by. It's almost like you went to church!
Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment from maggieadams
This is a keeper version, for sure. Your choice of words and making Adam dumber than mud is amusing and fun. Great dialogue and error free makes for a six, my friend.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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This is a keeper version, for sure. Your choice of words and making Adam dumber than mud is amusing and fun. Great dialogue and error free makes for a six, my friend.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much, maggieadams. I gotta believe Adam was out of his comfort zone once Eve showed up. Most of us adams are still dumber than dirt. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from adewpearl
You're not any kind of logian at all? What kind of self respecting man are you? ;-)
I was lead to believe - led
I just came from church, mister! I'm going to report you to somebody, just not sure who takes those kinds of reports :-)
I love every single line of the dialogue and of their thoughts. This is delightfully risque and terribly funny, my friend :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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You're not any kind of logian at all? What kind of self respecting man are you? ;-)
I was lead to believe - led
I just came from church, mister! I'm going to report you to somebody, just not sure who takes those kinds of reports :-)
I love every single line of the dialogue and of their thoughts. This is delightfully risque and terribly funny, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Actually, Brooke, I wondered if I maybe I shouldn't post this on a Sunday. On the other hand, I liked the irony. And I suspect the real Adam might have shared some of the same clumsies as my version.
Thanks so much for the galaxy. And I appreciate your tolerance, doll. I'll make it up to you.
Peace, Lee
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I like nothing better than a bit of Bible humor. Of course, I am not one of the mind that much of that stuff actually happened other than in a nice legend/myth kind of way.
Don't be spreading that around - lots of people on this site would have me drummed out of Christianity. LOL
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Your secret is safe with me--unless I need money in a hurry. I'm not above extortion, you know.
There are plenty of biblical figures I wouldn't dare parody. But Adam and Eve?
Pardon the pun, but they afford me a bit of wiggle room.
Thanks again, Brooke. Peace, Lee
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I'm so sad to report that extorting me might net you ten-twelve bucks tops. LOL There is an up side to being dead broke :-)
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Hey, ten-twelve bucks sounds pretty good to me!
Where both church-mice. Only you've got a church!
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LOL - I don't suppose you have any rich cousins?
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All my cousins are filthy rich. Except for the rich part.
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LOL filthy I can find on my own...
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
I'm LMFAO, especially at the ending. Forgive me please. Bubelah, is news to me. Hey, Adam and I might be related after all; to much thinking does that to me too. I think Eve's been 'round the horn a time or two, at least visited some of same joints I have--and been burned. Satire at its finest. Kenny
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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I'm LMFAO, especially at the ending. Forgive me please. Bubelah, is news to me. Hey, Adam and I might be related after all; to much thinking does that to me too. I think Eve's been 'round the horn a time or two, at least visited some of same joints I have--and been burned. Satire at its finest. Kenny
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Kenny. You know, I patterned Adam after myself.
One reviewer called him 'dumber than mud'. That's what I was going for. Glad you enjoyed, my friend. Peace, Lee
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I don't think the original is in any danger of being replaced, but this was interesting for something different. One does wonder what actually went through their minds. You may be onto something.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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I don't think the original is in any danger of being replaced, but this was interesting for something different. One does wonder what actually went through their minds. You may be onto something.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Barbara. It's always fun to reimagine a familiar story. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
