A Prisoner Named Thomas
I believe...39 total reviews
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Wonderful story. I assume it's a true one except for the name changes. It's a great thing you can make such a difference in a person's life. You have my vote. Well done.
Wonderful story. I assume it's a true one except for the name changes. It's a great thing you can make such a difference in a person's life. You have my vote. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from w.j.debi
What a wonderful success story. That he had the opportunity to start over and took it is great. You say you changed the names so it must be based on fact. It is heart warming to know at least one young man made it and that you made a difference.
Excellent narration and dialog.
What a wonderful success story. That he had the opportunity to start over and took it is great. You say you changed the names so it must be based on fact. It is heart warming to know at least one young man made it and that you made a difference.
Excellent narration and dialog.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Nosha17
That was an excellent story with a good clear message. Good dialogue, characterisations and strong story line. Good descriptive language and an enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
That was an excellent story with a good clear message. Good dialogue, characterisations and strong story line. Good descriptive language and an enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from adewpearl
leave the gang, and make - drop the comma
leaned forward, and stared - drop the comma
Residential Placement facility - drop the upper case letters since this isn't part of a name like Wilson Residential Facility
he finished high school, and started - drop the comma
excellent use of natural-sounding dialogue
great character development
a most thoughtful take on the "I believe" prompt
Brooke :-)
leave the gang, and make - drop the comma
leaned forward, and stared - drop the comma
Residential Placement facility - drop the upper case letters since this isn't part of a name like Wilson Residential Facility
he finished high school, and started - drop the comma
excellent use of natural-sounding dialogue
great character development
a most thoughtful take on the "I believe" prompt
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Trybuck
I gather from your notes that this is a true story. I sincerely hope Thomas makes it and is able to finish college. Well done with your entry, Buck
I gather from your notes that this is a true story. I sincerely hope Thomas makes it and is able to finish college. Well done with your entry, Buck
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from Heidixoxo
Hello Mystery Writer,
You have created and completed a great story for the upcoming contest! Your words were profound and yet you picked up on something so real in our world today. If this is based on true events then it's a fantastic ending. I wish all of these situations could be. Anyways, I think you've done a wonderful job putting this up for vote. Good luck to you....xoxo
Hello Mystery Writer,
You have created and completed a great story for the upcoming contest! Your words were profound and yet you picked up on something so real in our world today. If this is based on true events then it's a fantastic ending. I wish all of these situations could be. Anyways, I think you've done a wonderful job putting this up for vote. Good luck to you....xoxo
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from royowen
Sometimes the opportunity to start a new life will give opportunity to leave old negative things behind us, this can be really important when the old negatives can defeat the purposes of rehabilitation. I loved your story, it was well told, written, and the interest was maintained all the way through, I couldn't any obvious errors, well done. Blessings, Roy.
Sometimes the opportunity to start a new life will give opportunity to leave old negative things behind us, this can be really important when the old negatives can defeat the purposes of rehabilitation. I loved your story, it was well told, written, and the interest was maintained all the way through, I couldn't any obvious errors, well done. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from mfowler
Excellent message shared here.
Like the real life example of belief in someone, not an ideology of faith...more powerful reality, for me
Good narrative construction aided by showing through believable dialogue, rather than telling it how it was
A really good entry in this contest.
Good Luck.
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Excellent message shared here.
Like the real life example of belief in someone, not an ideology of faith...more powerful reality, for me
Good narrative construction aided by showing through believable dialogue, rather than telling it how it was
A really good entry in this contest.
Good Luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014
Comment from TLPhillips
Hello and thank you for sharing. This is a wonderful, heart warming story that made me tear up. I find it difficult to find anything wrong with it. Once again, thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed this story. Good Luck and Happy Writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Hello and thank you for sharing. This is a wonderful, heart warming story that made me tear up. I find it difficult to find anything wrong with it. Once again, thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed this story. Good Luck and Happy Writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2014