The Journey
A person's journey in life61 total reviews
Comment from Bobby Jo
As someone who has set with someone dying, I understand this. Mystery wraps each soul impending journey transcends.
This is so true.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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As someone who has set with someone dying, I understand this. Mystery wraps each soul impending journey transcends.
This is so true.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. RJ
Comment from RGstar
RJ, this was a piece flowing with adjectives and verbs. You have written a creative piece, my one concern is it was a bit difficult to pinpoint the emphasis because of the rapidity and condensed manner the before mentioned is set out.
It is certainly challenging and you have done a great job. I marveled with the consistency and rapidity of the piece, just a little worried about the pressure points and speed.
Best wishes,
RGstar
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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RJ, this was a piece flowing with adjectives and verbs. You have written a creative piece, my one concern is it was a bit difficult to pinpoint the emphasis because of the rapidity and condensed manner the before mentioned is set out.
It is certainly challenging and you have done a great job. I marveled with the consistency and rapidity of the piece, just a little worried about the pressure points and speed.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for you kind review. It was a challenging poem for me, had several re-writes, was hoping it would have good movement throughout. RJ
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Well RJ....you wrote a beauty. Metaphysical content was great...great...great!! Very well written. I hope everyone at Fanstory reads this. Great job!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Well RJ....you wrote a beauty. Metaphysical content was great...great...great!! Very well written. I hope everyone at Fanstory reads this. Great job!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. I would feel honored if everyone did read it. RJ
Comment from Tina McKala
interesting poem with some vivid images, but honestly I didn't really enjoyed the flow of the poem - but it might be just me, so look what others think - i could use some better connection between the lines - make them fluent.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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interesting poem with some vivid images, but honestly I didn't really enjoyed the flow of the poem - but it might be just me, so look what others think - i could use some better connection between the lines - make them fluent.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review. Do you have any specific thoughts on which lines to make flow better? RJ
Comment from Titan Black
I like this poem. Your poetic alliteration was on point. And have a good flow within the scheme of things. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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I like this poem. Your poetic alliteration was on point. And have a good flow within the scheme of things. Keep writing.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. RJ
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I loved this acrostic poem! You found just the right wording to make it really flow, which is rather hard in an acrostic! Good job!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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I loved this acrostic poem! You found just the right wording to make it really flow, which is rather hard in an acrostic! Good job!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your kind review. RJ
Comment from Bryan G
Your poem left me in a conundrum. I could not capture the pun of your poem. However, I was captured by your words that led me to ponder the meaning of your words. Great poetry causes the reader to question.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Your poem left me in a conundrum. I could not capture the pun of your poem. However, I was captured by your words that led me to ponder the meaning of your words. Great poetry causes the reader to question.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your comments. Life puzzled me and I wanted answers to 'Why'. As I watched my cousin leave this world, I added part of his thoughts into my poem. For me it is life beginning, turning point, and an ending here, however your soul is not gone, it continues to the next life. Sorry that may have been too much. RJ
Comment from rod007
This is i indeed quite a journey but the beauty of this piece is we see the beginning of the second journey after death as 'mystery wraps each soul' in that eternal voyage. Well done, RJ.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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This is i indeed quite a journey but the beauty of this piece is we see the beginning of the second journey after death as 'mystery wraps each soul' in that eternal voyage. Well done, RJ.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and comments, and seeing the journey. RJ
Comment from GangGreen
This poem explores the challenges of human existence,of coping with an uncertain present which leads to an all too certain future and that posessing spiritual capability we are also victims of instinct.It Reads like a journey through life itself.It Flows well,though perhaps create dreams in line four could be swapped around to dreams create to enhance the rhyme without losing meaning.It Is excellent how living in a conundrum is written down the side of the poem.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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This poem explores the challenges of human existence,of coping with an uncertain present which leads to an all too certain future and that posessing spiritual capability we are also victims of instinct.It Reads like a journey through life itself.It Flows well,though perhaps create dreams in line four could be swapped around to dreams create to enhance the rhyme without losing meaning.It Is excellent how living in a conundrum is written down the side of the poem.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your review and you comments. I can see it did capture you. RJ
Comment from padumachitta
Hi...I really like the arostic itself, sort of says it all..living knowing we are gonna die. It sure does make one think...and your poem hightenes that with well chosen words and hearfelt wonders.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Hi...I really like the arostic itself, sort of says it all..living knowing we are gonna die. It sure does make one think...and your poem hightenes that with well chosen words and hearfelt wonders.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Thank you for reading and your nice comments. RJ
