Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Bard Imprisoned & Children Found"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
12 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this is well written with apropos conversation between the players. Creative story all the way around. Nice work, my friend. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, this is well written with apropos conversation between the players. Creative story all the way around. Nice work, my friend. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 18-Aug-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I can really see this as a TV crime series, with the female detectives. Maybe you could put it in script format and send to a TV company. It is a great plot with great characters. Just an idea. Hope you get a chance to read up on my postings some time. I am tied up with so many projects, editing books, scripts, and getting my own poetry ready by end of next week for the publisher. I am busier now than before I retired. Phew! Hope you are going to have your work published, you are a super writer and deserve success. Faye
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I can really see this as a TV crime series, with the female detectives. Maybe you could put it in script format and send to a TV company. It is a great plot with great characters. Just an idea. Hope you get a chance to read up on my postings some time. I am tied up with so many projects, editing books, scripts, and getting my own poetry ready by end of next week for the publisher. I am busier now than before I retired. Phew! Hope you are going to have your work published, you are a super writer and deserve success. Faye
Comment Written 16-Aug-2014
Comment from seaglass
Things are getting rowdy. They seem be digging up more bad guys the further they go. Have to read the next post right away to see what follows.
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Things are getting rowdy. They seem be digging up more bad guys the further they go. Have to read the next post right away to see what follows.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is getting madly exciting now and the Bard seems to get funnier along with it. Great poem. What a terrific bonus. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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This is getting madly exciting now and the Bard seems to get funnier along with it. Great poem. What a terrific bonus. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, Go Bard Go....Bard sounds like more than a homeless man....Hummmmmmm....but still crazy....LOL...OK They are with the kids...and fighting to get them out...Bard just broke this ugly dudes wrists...and he's not happy...ok next!!! can't wait...very well written ....great chapter....Luff Linda xxoo love
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HI Michael, Go Bard Go....Bard sounds like more than a homeless man....Hummmmmmm....but still crazy....LOL...OK They are with the kids...and fighting to get them out...Bard just broke this ugly dudes wrists...and he's not happy...ok next!!! can't wait...very well written ....great chapter....Luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the pictures. Things are going fast. The girls let Winston's secret out. A large part of his group would not want anything to do with child stealing. Brad's military training is his secret weapon. The girls may find the back door to the place. I like the fast speed of how this part of the story is going. Great work.
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I love the pictures. Things are going fast. The girls let Winston's secret out. A large part of his group would not want anything to do with child stealing. Brad's military training is his secret weapon. The girls may find the back door to the place. I like the fast speed of how this part of the story is going. Great work.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
You're really good with dialogue, Mikey. Very strong chapter. Enjoyed. Please keep that in mind when reading the notes below:
We're shippin' these refugee's out to better quarters -- refugees
What is dis crapola. -- Question mark.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down his balls! -- Ha! Nice.
The two guards looked perplexed -- Showing this would make it read stronger.
"we're here to rescue. -- We're here to rescue.
The children's facilities were shocking. -- Can you show this?
guards recoiled from the sight and the smell of the place. -- Can you offer a scent? Smell like urine? Smell is the most powerful scent, and it's very effective with readers. Give them smell and they will fall in love with you. I know that sounds crazy, but it really works. Then again, I don't use it nearly as much as I should, so I'm being a bit hypocritical here.
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You're really good with dialogue, Mikey. Very strong chapter. Enjoyed. Please keep that in mind when reading the notes below:
We're shippin' these refugee's out to better quarters -- refugees
What is dis crapola. -- Question mark.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down his balls! -- Ha! Nice.
The two guards looked perplexed -- Showing this would make it read stronger.
"we're here to rescue. -- We're here to rescue.
The children's facilities were shocking. -- Can you show this?
guards recoiled from the sight and the smell of the place. -- Can you offer a scent? Smell like urine? Smell is the most powerful scent, and it's very effective with readers. Give them smell and they will fall in love with you. I know that sounds crazy, but it really works. Then again, I don't use it nearly as much as I should, so I'm being a bit hypocritical here.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
Comment from robina1978
Good photo's to complement your thrilling story. It goes fast and as you write here it is horrible how those children are behind bars.
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Good photo's to complement your thrilling story. It goes fast and as you write here it is horrible how those children are behind bars.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good work mate getting better and surprise surprise No spags.
Looking forward to next chapter. Seems we might be coming to a close huh! Just watched Good Morning Vietnam first time in a long time. Also got Google Images and Bing Images links saved so watch out.
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Good work mate getting better and surprise surprise No spags.
Looking forward to next chapter. Seems we might be coming to a close huh! Just watched Good Morning Vietnam first time in a long time. Also got Google Images and Bing Images links saved so watch out.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Loved this one! Great action, and the kids will finally be freed.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down his balls! << Funniest line I've seen in a long time! Loud applause! :)
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Loved this one! Great action, and the kids will finally be freed.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down his balls! << Funniest line I've seen in a long time! Loud applause! :)
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
