Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Barry inspects, The Bard is captured"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
14 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I love the Bard's attempt at German, very droll! Good humour, lots of action, the women are going to show how them how it is done. At least the kids might get rescued soon. Enjoyable read. Faye
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I love the Bard's attempt at German, very droll! Good humour, lots of action, the women are going to show how them how it is done. At least the kids might get rescued soon. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
Comment from l.raven
OMG, Michael...cracking up laugh at Bard...well that's a lot of kids...and now they are getting ready to move them....and Bard is getting ready to go in...let see what happens...got a bit behind ....sorry!!!! very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
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OMG, Michael...cracking up laugh at Bard...well that's a lot of kids...and now they are getting ready to move them....and Bard is getting ready to go in...let see what happens...got a bit behind ....sorry!!!! very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the pictures. I love the story. The bard is going to make one fun prisoner. He can also gain the children's trust. Lucy and Tenaya are going to prove dangerous. The butler will be a big help. His grandchildren are at stake. Great work.
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I love the pictures. I love the story. The bard is going to make one fun prisoner. He can also gain the children's trust. Lucy and Tenaya are going to prove dangerous. The butler will be a big help. His grandchildren are at stake. Great work.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I think this is the first time I have read your novel. So I will only review what I read today. The plot was good and the characters are very entertaining.
We declare war, Alex, on everything. BECAUES, happiness is a warm gun, hap pe neee ee sss is a warm gun momma. (BECAUSE, & comma before momma)
With an audience now, the Bard continued." (don't need the quotation marks & a comma after continued. You have an extra space between this and the dialogue)
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I think this is the first time I have read your novel. So I will only review what I read today. The plot was good and the characters are very entertaining.
We declare war, Alex, on everything. BECAUES, happiness is a warm gun, hap pe neee ee sss is a warm gun momma. (BECAUSE, & comma before momma)
With an audience now, the Bard continued." (don't need the quotation marks & a comma after continued. You have an extra space between this and the dialogue)
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm not really crazy about this direction, but then I just generally don't care for this genre. I do like the dialogue here; very interesting and it moves the story along nicely. I didn't think Bard's speech this time was as humorous or as pithily philosophical as it has been in the past. Nothing personal, but I think I'll just skip reviewing these from now on. It's just not my cup of tea, and it's not fair to you.
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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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I'm not really crazy about this direction, but then I just generally don't care for this genre. I do like the dialogue here; very interesting and it moves the story along nicely. I didn't think Bard's speech this time was as humorous or as pithily philosophical as it has been in the past. Nothing personal, but I think I'll just skip reviewing these from now on. It's just not my cup of tea, and it's not fair to you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Hi. This is getting old to me too! Hahaha. I am relying on having the Bard making things interesting with a diatribe here and there. This will end sooner or later. I'm already trying to decide what the new book will be. Something different for sure. I think you've read enough of this and I do have tons of great input for editing. I have a lot of material to do "something" with and I'll have your advice in mind believe me when I start that. I write all the time, so plenty of other things!! Thank you kindly, mikey
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Thanks so much for your reply. As I've said, I'd really love to read something much simpler, focused on the Bard.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Krautenbrau de frauline knickers pullin down a pokin quickin stickin.
ROFL! Excellent German! LOL! This is priceless. So now the kids are being freed by Barry and the Bard will be a prisoner. If only they'd known the kids would be out soon. :)
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Krautenbrau de frauline knickers pullin down a pokin quickin stickin.
ROFL! Excellent German! LOL! This is priceless. So now the kids are being freed by Barry and the Bard will be a prisoner. If only they'd known the kids would be out soon. :)
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
The Bard is off the hook in this chapter. His fake German is classic. It looks like Fluffy may be a hidden ally. Perhaps there are others. Honor within the ranks of soldiers that may believe in a cause that doesn't include child abduction. Some good seeds planted.
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The Bard is off the hook in this chapter. His fake German is classic. It looks like Fluffy may be a hidden ally. Perhaps there are others. Honor within the ranks of soldiers that may believe in a cause that doesn't include child abduction. Some good seeds planted.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Good chapter, Mikey. Strong dialogue. The dialogue would read even smoother and faster with a few edits.
With that, Barry turned to leave. -- Consider deleting 'With that'. You're making the reader aware of your presence (the writer). However, you have a tricky situation here because simply writing 'Barry turned to leave' would read a bit abrupt.
He turned and walked away as Lincoln screamed bloody murder at him. -- You have two instances of someone turning and walking away in this chapter.
"So, we take him as our prisoner and hope we can find the right place to take him to." -- Often a good idea to start a new paragraph with dialogue after several sentences of narrative.
Tenaya agreed. -- Telling. Strongly consider deleting. This is already shown in the dialogue anyway.
Everyone burst out laughing at that. -- Not a bad sentence, but a little on the cliché side. Consider revising.
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Good chapter, Mikey. Strong dialogue. The dialogue would read even smoother and faster with a few edits.
With that, Barry turned to leave. -- Consider deleting 'With that'. You're making the reader aware of your presence (the writer). However, you have a tricky situation here because simply writing 'Barry turned to leave' would read a bit abrupt.
He turned and walked away as Lincoln screamed bloody murder at him. -- You have two instances of someone turning and walking away in this chapter.
"So, we take him as our prisoner and hope we can find the right place to take him to." -- Often a good idea to start a new paragraph with dialogue after several sentences of narrative.
Tenaya agreed. -- Telling. Strongly consider deleting. This is already shown in the dialogue anyway.
Everyone burst out laughing at that. -- Not a bad sentence, but a little on the cliché side. Consider revising.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from CR Delport
With the Bard around, it is very hard to keep a straight face, even for hardened soldiers :) This is another great chapter.
Alex, on everything. BECAUES, --- is that a spelling error or just the Bard's tongue that gets tied?
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With the Bard around, it is very hard to keep a straight face, even for hardened soldiers :) This is another great chapter.
Alex, on everything. BECAUES, --- is that a spelling error or just the Bard's tongue that gets tied?
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from adewpearl
the prisoners' cells/the prisoners' housing - add the apostrophes for possessive
dialogue conveys intense emotion and conflicting attitudes well
care nothing for their wellbeing - well being
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the prisoners' cells/the prisoners' housing - add the apostrophes for possessive
dialogue conveys intense emotion and conflicting attitudes well
care nothing for their wellbeing - well being
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
