My pain in my smile
When love is lost from the heart3 total reviews
Comment from Taffspride
An interesting entry for the contest.
I did see a couple of problems however. The rules say 5-7-5 you have 5-7-7 your syllable count is off in the third line.
Also the first line she teared apart. Consider
she tears me apart
or if using past tense
she tore me apart
Good luck in the contest
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An interesting entry for the contest.
I did see a couple of problems however. The rules say 5-7-5 you have 5-7-7 your syllable count is off in the third line.
Also the first line she teared apart. Consider
she tears me apart
or if using past tense
she tore me apart
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
Comment from Emily George
A beautiful, simplistic verse, full of emotion and well used rhyme.
I liked the fact you did not use an illustration it did not need one.
Well done
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A beautiful, simplistic verse, full of emotion and well used rhyme.
I liked the fact you did not use an illustration it did not need one.
Well done
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
Comment from c_lucas
When love leaves a relationship, it is time to break rank and start again. One cannot change the other. This is well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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When love leaves a relationship, it is time to break rank and start again. One cannot change the other. This is well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
