The Drumbeat of Life
A Tambour39 total reviews
Comment from amanda98653
This is magnificent, Steve.
I voted for you and was hoping this poem would win. I'm so glad it did.
The opening is stunning:
"Hot blood of the spring, to dreams you cling, by future's promise smitten,
Oh, youth that thrums with a song unsung, your music yet unwritten."
I love all the positivity and assurance.
"To the drum, to the drum!
Oh, follow, follow the drum.
Though the shadows may come,
To the drum, to the drum!~"
Clever refrain. The verses reflect the tempo of your poem and echo nature's heartbeat.
Definitely exceptional
Hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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This is magnificent, Steve.
I voted for you and was hoping this poem would win. I'm so glad it did.
The opening is stunning:
"Hot blood of the spring, to dreams you cling, by future's promise smitten,
Oh, youth that thrums with a song unsung, your music yet unwritten."
I love all the positivity and assurance.
"To the drum, to the drum!
Oh, follow, follow the drum.
Though the shadows may come,
To the drum, to the drum!~"
Clever refrain. The verses reflect the tempo of your poem and echo nature's heartbeat.
Definitely exceptional
Hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 06-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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Hi, Amanda - thanks for the great review and the six stars - much appreciated.
Even RGStar, the organiser and inventor of this new form, was pleased with this - the ultimate seal of approval. It was a challenging piece to write so I was very happy to get the win.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely divine. I felt the drum beat in every line and found my foot tapping as I read. Again, I can see clearly why this won the contest. You have a true gift and I am so pleased you have chosen to share it with all of us.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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This is absolutely divine. I felt the drum beat in every line and found my foot tapping as I read. Again, I can see clearly why this won the contest. You have a true gift and I am so pleased you have chosen to share it with all of us.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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Thanks, Sasha.
This was a form created by the organiser and a difficult one to wrap my head around. He was kind enough to give it a glowing review, so I knew I had done something right. There were some outstanding entries for the contest, so I was happy to sneak home.
Steve
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
First of all Congratulations kiwisteveh on your win in the Tambour contest. A worthy winner. I don't need to tell you that as the votes speak for themselves. I enjoyed the read and you found a brilliant accompanying picture. Kind regards Dorothy x No 6 left...
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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First of all Congratulations kiwisteveh on your win in the Tambour contest. A worthy winner. I don't need to tell you that as the votes speak for themselves. I enjoyed the read and you found a brilliant accompanying picture. Kind regards Dorothy x No 6 left...
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Dorothy, thanks for the kind review and congratulations.
I have to say that I am startled by the margin of victory - I felt all of the entries were of a high quality and really expected a close contest.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Steve, your poem reminds me of two songs by The Band. First, King Harvest (has surely come). Then, Rocking Chair. Not to be taken literally, just that your poem builds a sort of bridge between the two songs.
Your ability to twist and apply language always inspires me to try harder. Steve, you're good. Damn it all to hell . . . you're good.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Steve, your poem reminds me of two songs by The Band. First, King Harvest (has surely come). Then, Rocking Chair. Not to be taken literally, just that your poem builds a sort of bridge between the two songs.
Your ability to twist and apply language always inspires me to try harder. Steve, you're good. Damn it all to hell . . . you're good.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2014
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Don't know The Band but will check them out I am not a big music person.
Twisting language is appropriate to this form which falls outside my comfort zone - I actually felt it was a little uneven and I know I rushed to finish it so it could do with editing/tinkering, but I must have got something right, so the voters think.
I do appreciate the praise. Back to the 'comfort' of the limerick now.
Steve
Comment from Loren (7)
You can feel both the heat and intensity of the poem as you've written it. It is forceful and riveting. Reminds me of Kipling's "Charge of the Light Brigade." Good luck in the contest. Loren
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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You can feel both the heat and intensity of the poem as you've written it. It is forceful and riveting. Reminds me of Kipling's "Charge of the Light Brigade." Good luck in the contest. Loren
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Thanks, Loren.
I believe you are mixing up Kipling (who did serve in the british army and wrote lots of war-related poetry with the more illustrious Lord Tennyson. Don't think he was in the army, but he could certainly come up with a good rollicking charge poem...
Steve
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh this is sublime...........the tambour is the perfect form for this...isn't it a drum? Perfect I loved the life beat of it drumming like a heart beat...
You are a great poet....yay
God bless
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Oh this is sublime...........the tambour is the perfect form for this...isn't it a drum? Perfect I loved the life beat of it drumming like a heart beat...
You are a great poet....yay
God bless
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Thanks, Jenny.
Yes, the form was made up by FS poet RGStar and supposed to sound like a drum roll.
Steve
Comment from Just2Write
Steve, the writing skill in this poem is exquisite. I loved the 'feel' you create throughout the poem, and the verve of life that your poem pounds into us as we march with the words from one end to the other. I searched for a better explanation of the form of a 'Tambour' poem outside of Fanstory and didn't find much - So, I'll just enjoy.
The beat resounds throughout the poem. There were a few places, where I felt the rhythm unexpectedly shift, especially on the lines that moved from iambs to other metric combinations - some very effectively.
Loved this, m'dear. This is a huge step up from the normal fare of FS.
Rose.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Steve, the writing skill in this poem is exquisite. I loved the 'feel' you create throughout the poem, and the verve of life that your poem pounds into us as we march with the words from one end to the other. I searched for a better explanation of the form of a 'Tambour' poem outside of Fanstory and didn't find much - So, I'll just enjoy.
The beat resounds throughout the poem. There were a few places, where I felt the rhythm unexpectedly shift, especially on the lines that moved from iambs to other metric combinations - some very effectively.
Loved this, m'dear. This is a huge step up from the normal fare of FS.
Rose.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Rose, thanks so much for the great review and the six stars.
No, you won't find this outside FS - the form was invented by RGStar who has woven quite a complex set of rules and 'things to be desired' round his form.
Using the requirements, the meter had to change and I ended up writing it rather hurriedly so there are a few lines I'm not happy with - given a bit more time I would try to 'smoothen' them.
Steve
Comment from Green Lake Girl
This is an excellent entry for this new poetry contest, Steve. You have my vote. Not an easy task, writing a Tambour. You tackled and mastered this difficult format.
A great deal of beauty in your poem. Loved how you followed the seasons. Super job.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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This is an excellent entry for this new poetry contest, Steve. You have my vote. Not an easy task, writing a Tambour. You tackled and mastered this difficult format.
A great deal of beauty in your poem. Loved how you followed the seasons. Super job.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Thank you, GLG.
Steve
Comment from Gladness
My, this is so different from your usual poems. This goes through a lifetime, each season and passion, and ends with, I suppose, the icy fingers of death.
Sobering. That's about how fast it all goes by.
Anita
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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My, this is so different from your usual poems. This goes through a lifetime, each season and passion, and ends with, I suppose, the icy fingers of death.
Sobering. That's about how fast it all goes by.
Anita
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Thanks, Anita.
My wife has been asking, 'when are you going to write another funny poem?'
I have obliged - you will probably guess if you stumble across it.
Steve
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
HI THERE STEVIE,
You did an outstanding job of mastering the Tambour. This work is skillfully executed and admirable. I learned a lot from reading yours and felt it will help me should I try such a form again. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes for the contest. Warm regards, Aggie
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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HI THERE STEVIE,
You did an outstanding job of mastering the Tambour. This work is skillfully executed and admirable. I learned a lot from reading yours and felt it will help me should I try such a form again. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes for the contest. Warm regards, Aggie
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
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Aggie, thanks for the kind words and the six stars. You are a brave soul for even wanting to try again - I found this challenging to say the least.
Steve
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You are entirely welcome. Congrats on acing the contest with your well deserved winner!
Aggie
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Thank you. I am most surprised by such a comfortable win. I felt all the entries were of a high quality...
Steve
