Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Barry at the Compound, Bard Nearby"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
13 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
Well thought out chapter how Barry got himself in and found the location of the children. Good descriptive language of setting and well written dialogue. Interesting to see how the Bard fares. Enjoyable as always. Faye
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Well thought out chapter how Barry got himself in and found the location of the children. Good descriptive language of setting and well written dialogue. Interesting to see how the Bard fares. Enjoyable as always. Faye
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent description of Fluffy
typo in I'm in I'm bringing a visitor
excellent dialogue - you convey well Fluffy's confused response to the question about children to indicate she has no idea
love the part about the coded language expressions
Brooke
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Excellent description of Fluffy
typo in I'm in I'm bringing a visitor
excellent dialogue - you convey well Fluffy's confused response to the question about children to indicate she has no idea
love the part about the coded language expressions
Brooke
Comment Written 13-Aug-2014
Comment from l.raven
LMAO!!!!OH Michael...could happen...Very could in trouble...asking to many questions...but the troops are on the way...Bard...who just figured out Ba Ba Ba black sheep is about sheep...where do you get this stuff??? and Bard is loving Lucy kissing him...LOL...love this chapter...so very well written...Luff Linda xxoo love
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LMAO!!!!OH Michael...could happen...Very could in trouble...asking to many questions...but the troops are on the way...Bard...who just figured out Ba Ba Ba black sheep is about sheep...where do you get this stuff??? and Bard is loving Lucy kissing him...LOL...love this chapter...so very well written...Luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
Comment from seaglass
Wow that compound and it purpose is scary. there really are some scary similar groups in the mountains of Montana. Some of the most dangerous groups in the world are in our own country. We should gather them up and make them go fight isis. Oops, got on a soapbox there but I slipped on the bubble so I say this is a really good post, moving us closer to the actions. good descriptions here.
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Wow that compound and it purpose is scary. there really are some scary similar groups in the mountains of Montana. Some of the most dangerous groups in the world are in our own country. We should gather them up and make them go fight isis. Oops, got on a soapbox there but I slipped on the bubble so I say this is a really good post, moving us closer to the actions. good descriptions here.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
A lot of humor in this post. Saw a lot of action I liked. Loved the sheep scene. Stockton and Malone --- I know them mugs from the old days. They made a hell of a team and I like the code words you thought up. How on tarnation do you think up these things, Mikey. A little birdie tells me --- maybe the abandoned silver mine will come into play. Would be a good place to hide. Over all, a great chapter. Loved it till the wee end. Sheep reminds me of James Conrad in Ba --Ba-- Black Sheep. Starring Red West. helluva chapter, rock on ... count your doubloon. Good deeds come full circle.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014
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A lot of humor in this post. Saw a lot of action I liked. Loved the sheep scene. Stockton and Malone --- I know them mugs from the old days. They made a hell of a team and I like the code words you thought up. How on tarnation do you think up these things, Mikey. A little birdie tells me --- maybe the abandoned silver mine will come into play. Would be a good place to hide. Over all, a great chapter. Loved it till the wee end. Sheep reminds me of James Conrad in Ba --Ba-- Black Sheep. Starring Red West. helluva chapter, rock on ... count your doubloon. Good deeds come full circle.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2014
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Some of what I come up with is because it isn't planned. So, when they arrived at the prisoners area and it was hidden, I figured they would have some kind of signal. Then Utah doesn't have much except the Jazz! And the Jazz didn't have much except Malone and Stockton, so there's that. Hahaha. The silver mine is just like you suspect. Thinking that maybe they'd blow the place up to get rid of the evidence or something. OOps. Where did they go? I remember that show. Good show. The Bard lets me throw in some crazy things and get away with it cause he's (I'm) crazy!! mikey
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You ain't crazy if you can come up with all of that. That mine shaft looked dark and spooky. Stockton and Malone was a good tandem team. That's all Utah had, except for Mormons. them Mormons tried to get me -- to join, in mu thirties. I really thought about it? A thousand acres and seven wives? The women do all of the work. Just think of seven wives nagging at you simultaneously and riding them bicycles all of the time on missionary detail. i backed out. They even called Utah, the headquarters. i got scared. LOL1
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Hahaha!!!! One of my clients here is Mormon. He's a little slow mentally so he gets it all mixed up. Pretty funny. We just nod our heads. Seven nagging wives on bikes. Isn't that part of that Christmas song?
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They talk about Joseph Smith, one who found the gold plates hidden in New York state. Only Joseph Smiths family ever eye-witnessed them gold plates. Sent me a red flag. They believe in the bible but refer to the Book of Mormon a lot. Told me to seek a sign, if being a Mormon was for me. next morning I got a sign--a bad one. My fracking flowers mysteriously died overnight. They were healthy before I napped. took that sign as a no. Ha--ha
Comment from CR Delport
If Winston had children at that compound, the seem to be well hidden. Maybe deep inside the mine? This is another well written edition. Great job.
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If Winston had children at that compound, the seem to be well hidden. Maybe deep inside the mine? This is another well written edition. Great job.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I have to tell you that my thought when I was reading this was, "he's gotten lost in this." I'm not sure where you're going her (or where you've been), but it does seem rambling and sort of lost to me. Again, my suggestion would be to go back to the beginning, make the whole piece about the Bard, and as simple as possible. The Bard can, and does, tell his own story in a way that is absolutely unique, true, and readable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I have to tell you that my thought when I was reading this was, "he's gotten lost in this." I'm not sure where you're going her (or where you've been), but it does seem rambling and sort of lost to me. Again, my suggestion would be to go back to the beginning, make the whole piece about the Bard, and as simple as possible. The Bard can, and does, tell his own story in a way that is absolutely unique, true, and readable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This sets things up perfectly. Love that Lincoln has popped up as a prisoner and his grandkids are in danger. Fluffy gives me a good vibe. She may switch when she finds out the true nature of things. That cave has to be there for a reason knowing you!!!
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This sets things up perfectly. Love that Lincoln has popped up as a prisoner and his grandkids are in danger. Fluffy gives me a good vibe. She may switch when she finds out the true nature of things. That cave has to be there for a reason knowing you!!!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. Where the children are being held might be a problem. I think the girls may find a back door. Barry is bound to be challenged by someone. As always, I think Bard is the girl's secret weapon. He sounds crazy but he is smart and well trained. Great work.
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I love the story. Where the children are being held might be a problem. I think the girls may find a back door. Barry is bound to be challenged by someone. As always, I think Bard is the girl's secret weapon. He sounds crazy but he is smart and well trained. Great work.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Good chapter, Michael. A few notes to consider:
Fluffy went blank for a moment? -- Do you intend a question mark here?
"They're retired." A voice called out from somewhere behind the trees. -- I think this would qualify as a speech tag, so you would need a comma after 'retired' and a lowercase 'a'
Barry looked puzzled. -- Can you show this?
means that I',m bringing a visitor. -- Looks like you have extra punctuation in there.
"It leads into the mountain sir. -- Comma after 'mountain'
Lucy seemed anxious to speak -- Can you show this through action(s)?
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Good chapter, Michael. A few notes to consider:
Fluffy went blank for a moment? -- Do you intend a question mark here?
"They're retired." A voice called out from somewhere behind the trees. -- I think this would qualify as a speech tag, so you would need a comma after 'retired' and a lowercase 'a'
Barry looked puzzled. -- Can you show this?
means that I',m bringing a visitor. -- Looks like you have extra punctuation in there.
"It leads into the mountain sir. -- Comma after 'mountain'
Lucy seemed anxious to speak -- Can you show this through action(s)?
Comment Written 11-Aug-2014
