CHAPTER CUATRO, PART UNO
Soni has a visitor.45 total reviews
Comment from Taffspride
I like the way you keep the reader involved in the story Barbara. Good use of dialog throughout keeps it moving so well.
Just a couple of suggestions.
(but) please continue eating." consider deleting 'but' since you use it in the next paragraph.
legal(,) looking papers delete comma here.
you've (ran) run
"I understand your mother was Native American" Was he questioning her heritage, or making a statement. I couldn't be sure.
Great chapter. I am looking forward to the next.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
  |
I like the way you keep the reader involved in the story Barbara. Good use of dialog throughout keeps it moving so well.
Just a couple of suggestions.
(but) please continue eating." consider deleting 'but' since you use it in the next paragraph.
legal(,) looking papers delete comma here.
you've (ran) run
"I understand your mother was Native American" Was he questioning her heritage, or making a statement. I couldn't be sure.
Great chapter. I am looking forward to the next.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this helpful review.
-
:)
Comment from Ben Colder
Well lady school teacher , you have done your homework on a lot of this info. Love the way you described much of the King's Ranch. One of the biggest Long Horn steers ever came out of the marsh lands near Corpus. I saw the thing and could not believe my eyes. You have turned this into an interesting story. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
|
Well lady school teacher , you have done your homework on a lot of this info. Love the way you described much of the King's Ranch. One of the biggest Long Horn steers ever came out of the marsh lands near Corpus. I saw the thing and could not believe my eyes. You have turned this into an interesting story. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. Good Bless.
Comment from c_lucas
Federal Agents in the Security agencies are noted for their poker faces. They ask questions but seldom answer then. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
 |
Federal Agents in the Security agencies are noted for their poker faces. They ask questions but seldom answer then. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review and for dropping by.
-
You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
he's asked me out, but - add comma
legal, looking papers - drop the comma
excellent natural-sounding dialogue that serves to explain a lot about what Homeland Security suspects/is concerned about and about how the ranch is operated, all quite legally - I can tell how much the official wants them to breaking one rule or another
Brooke
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
|
he's asked me out, but - add comma
legal, looking papers - drop the comma
excellent natural-sounding dialogue that serves to explain a lot about what Homeland Security suspects/is concerned about and about how the ranch is operated, all quite legally - I can tell how much the official wants them to breaking one rule or another
Brooke
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
I added that comma by legal at the last minute. DARN!! Thank you for the helpful review.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Fine and well rendered chapter. I can see a well articulated and well planned storyline running on its normal cause, no deviations or meandering. Well delivered.
ola thomas
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
|
Fine and well rendered chapter. I can see a well articulated and well planned storyline running on its normal cause, no deviations or meandering. Well delivered.
ola thomas
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
