CHAPTER CUATRO, PART UNO
Soni has a visitor.45 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I'm enjoying each chapter very much, and I haven't found any mistakes today. They are not too long for me they seem to be over in no time. I liked your attention to detail in relation to legal matters, Giddy
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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I'm enjoying each chapter very much, and I haven't found any mistakes today. They are not too long for me they seem to be over in no time. I liked your attention to detail in relation to legal matters, Giddy
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from elgone
If Homeland Security actually did what they were created to do...well, do 't get me started. It seems like Gestapo tactics in occupied France during the war, show me your papers...
A couple pf corrections:
In Title Cuartro sb Quatro
Alex raised both hands in the air. "Oh, Dios mio!- sb Ai, Dios mio!
E
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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If Homeland Security actually did what they were created to do...well, do 't get me started. It seems like Gestapo tactics in occupied France during the war, show me your papers...
A couple pf corrections:
In Title Cuartro sb Quatro
Alex raised both hands in the air. "Oh, Dios mio!- sb Ai, Dios mio!
E
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. My Spanish is correct. I am positive, on the 'oh' you could use 'ai' but most American Mexican's would say 'Oh'
Comment from boxergirl
This is an interesting chapter about Robert from Homeland Security coming to question Soni about her workers. I liked it when her dogs stood up every time she did. Obviously, they had her back. 8-)
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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This is an interesting chapter about Robert from Homeland Security coming to question Soni about her workers. I liked it when her dogs stood up every time she did. Obviously, they had her back. 8-)
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. Those two dogs will have an important part in the story, that's why I make sure I have them by her at all times.
Comment from Tonulak
Hi Barbra,
I thought you set up some interesting drama through the conversations, especially the ritual use of peyote by Native Americans. I thought this chapter did well to set up future conflicts. I still caution that you need to "hear" your dialogue, rather than read it. In many cases it still sounded like writing not speaking. Perhaps you could get friends to act some of it out to test that observation. Keep going with this interesting story--Ted
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Hi Barbra,
I thought you set up some interesting drama through the conversations, especially the ritual use of peyote by Native Americans. I thought this chapter did well to set up future conflicts. I still caution that you need to "hear" your dialogue, rather than read it. In many cases it still sounded like writing not speaking. Perhaps you could get friends to act some of it out to test that observation. Keep going with this interesting story--Ted
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. I'm having issues with some nit picker and my posts. They are correcting everything even dialogue. I am trying to get them off my back.
Comment from judiverse
I'm happy to bestow a six on this. I looked forward to reading it. I like the contemporary issues of illegal immigrants, the reservation, drug cartels. Hughes seems more than eager to find something amiss on the ranch. As Alex points out, Hughes did quite a job of searching the premises. Will be curious to see how Jim will fit into this. Either Hughes is over-eager, or he is corrupt, looking for something he can pass along to someone. In addition, the timing of his visit is early, and he asks pointed and personal questions about Miguel. judi
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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I'm happy to bestow a six on this. I looked forward to reading it. I like the contemporary issues of illegal immigrants, the reservation, drug cartels. Hughes seems more than eager to find something amiss on the ranch. As Alex points out, Hughes did quite a job of searching the premises. Will be curious to see how Jim will fit into this. Either Hughes is over-eager, or he is corrupt, looking for something he can pass along to someone. In addition, the timing of his visit is early, and he asks pointed and personal questions about Miguel. judi
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2014
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from mumsyone
An interesting chapter, Barbara, with good dialogue.
"The ranch also goes to mile marker 399 outside of Del Rio(,) and there's a good-sized Lipan Apache reservation on both sides of the Nueces River."
We have not changed the treaty(,) and the Lipan Apaches are welcome on the Rockin' A."
"She was(,) and my grandfather, Kuruk, continues to live on the reservation.
Robert waited until his cup was refreshed,(no comma) and then took a sip.
"That is true(,) but Homeland Security can't be too careful, can it?"
"I'm fine(,)really."
"Have you read the amendment at the bottom of the document(,) giving the Native American's permission to continue to reside on your land?"
Secondly, it causes hallucinations(,) and they would be unable to perceive and judge reality accurately."
Robert ate the last bit of coffee cake,(no comma) and then stood.
Soni hesitated,(no comma) and then said,
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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An interesting chapter, Barbara, with good dialogue.
"The ranch also goes to mile marker 399 outside of Del Rio(,) and there's a good-sized Lipan Apache reservation on both sides of the Nueces River."
We have not changed the treaty(,) and the Lipan Apaches are welcome on the Rockin' A."
"She was(,) and my grandfather, Kuruk, continues to live on the reservation.
Robert waited until his cup was refreshed,(no comma) and then took a sip.
"That is true(,) but Homeland Security can't be too careful, can it?"
"I'm fine(,)really."
"Have you read the amendment at the bottom of the document(,) giving the Native American's permission to continue to reside on your land?"
Secondly, it causes hallucinations(,) and they would be unable to perceive and judge reality accurately."
Robert ate the last bit of coffee cake,(no comma) and then stood.
Soni hesitated,(no comma) and then said,
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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GRRR, I hate commas, it seems I added them when I shouldn't have and didn't when I should have. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
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As a rule, you should add a comma when you have a compound sentence (two complete sentences that could stand alone but are connected by 'and'. If you don't have two complete sentences, then there should be no comma. Hope this helps.
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
Glad to read another chapter from the book. Almost missed it thinking it wasn't a book chapter. Glad I decided to read as much as i can today!
Well done! Oh! and Good luck with your work!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Hello there~!
Glad to read another chapter from the book. Almost missed it thinking it wasn't a book chapter. Glad I decided to read as much as i can today!
Well done! Oh! and Good luck with your work!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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I don't know what happened. I clicked on post a new chapter to already started book. Oh well, it's here. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Hey stranger good to see you. I had something I wanted to share with you but I have forgotten what it was ho hum!
Thanks for another good read I did not pick up any errors. Hope you saw the poem I wrote about all of us's friend, here, Michael Cahill called Mikey, I likey, By Krikey. I am in the process of moving all my stuff in my Autobiography around again I have split up Medical, School and other as well as adding to some of the chapters as reviewers have suggested.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Hey stranger good to see you. I had something I wanted to share with you but I have forgotten what it was ho hum!
Thanks for another good read I did not pick up any errors. Hope you saw the poem I wrote about all of us's friend, here, Michael Cahill called Mikey, I likey, By Krikey. I am in the process of moving all my stuff in my Autobiography around again I have split up Medical, School and other as well as adding to some of the chapters as reviewers have suggested.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Yes, I did read your poem and it was very well written. Thank you for the kind review.
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Hopefully I will remember what I wanted to share...something to do with Ireland I think!! Duh??
Comment from Curly Girly
Barbara, this is a well written post. However, I believe that you traditionally write in USA English, not UK English; if that is so, then IRS should be: I.R.S.
Also in your footnotes:
Instead of two parts to a chapter their will probably be four.
Instead of two parts to a chapter THERE will probably be four.
All good, and enjoy your extra time at home.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Barbara, this is a well written post. However, I believe that you traditionally write in USA English, not UK English; if that is so, then IRS should be: I.R.S.
Also in your footnotes:
Instead of two parts to a chapter their will probably be four.
Instead of two parts to a chapter THERE will probably be four.
All good, and enjoy your extra time at home.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Yes, I do write in US English but thanks for the catch to my author's notes. My dachshund was helping me write. LOL
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for the pleasure of reading another entertaining chapter. The foundation for many conflicts seem to be falling into place. Great job. :-)
(add)
>>He stopped and waited for Soni (to) speed read through the papers.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Thanks for the pleasure of reading another entertaining chapter. The foundation for many conflicts seem to be falling into place. Great job. :-)
>>He stopped and waited for
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I will add the word. Thank you for the catch.
