Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi GW,

Great emotion in this poem. I think we all have someone in our past that we might wonder, had things turned out differently, how life would have changed.

Nicely done.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax ... ('-')

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thank you Jax

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

For the life of me, I can't seem to remember that but then maybe I'm not the one that should be remembering.
Well done with this one, Buck

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thanks Buck was for fun

Comment from mjac777

Excellent

I really liked this well constructed, well thought out poem. Just enough rhyme to keep the rhythm and pace flowing nicely, making it a pleasure to read.
Good stroll down memory lane of first love. The author wishing the first love has as fond memories as she did.
Do you remember? - good refrain line.

Well done.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thank you Mjac

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

This is so sweet, gw. I love the innocence of youth. The first love, the stolen kiss. I want to go back there. You made me want to. My first love was killed in a horrific car accident at 21 years of age. Don't want to go there. It's good to dream of the past when things were fun and we seemingly had little to worry about. Lovely altogether.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thanks Drew this was for fun sorry about your first love

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

good rhymes including the proximate rhyme of park/heart
good consonance in kiss awkward
nice allusion to the knights in white satin rock lyrics
excellent detail of setting and their relationship
a haunting mood with a good closing question
Brooke

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thank you Brooke this was just for fun

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thank you Brooke this one was just for fun

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Cute picture to symbolize your first love. Nice occasional end rhymes to make it flow smoothly. Good use of repetition lines, "Do you remember?" Nice stroll down memory lane. Thanks! 8-)

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 Comment Written 09-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014

thank you for this it was just for fun

Gary