An Epitaph for Heros and Bums
An essay about subtle appreciation or lack thereof34 total reviews
Comment from Acquired Taste
Oh Lord how times do change. Coming from a very large family, we often ate on paper plates. When I married that was the one thing never allowed in my house. Fully set table for every meal eaten in the house. My girls would balk, but we had a dishwasher (unlike when I was young) and I never deviated from the rule. Condiments were placed in small dishes to be passed around.
To this day, my girls talk about "mom's fully set tables" but they now tell me they miss it in their own homes. Life's too busy, paper is fine, blah, blah, blah.
The only thing constant is change. And I suspect it will slowly creep upon me too.
I truly enjoyed your story! AT=/ Jean
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
  |
Oh Lord how times do change. Coming from a very large family, we often ate on paper plates. When I married that was the one thing never allowed in my house. Fully set table for every meal eaten in the house. My girls would balk, but we had a dishwasher (unlike when I was young) and I never deviated from the rule. Condiments were placed in small dishes to be passed around.
To this day, my girls talk about "mom's fully set tables" but they now tell me they miss it in their own homes. Life's too busy, paper is fine, blah, blah, blah.
The only thing constant is change. And I suspect it will slowly creep upon me too.
I truly enjoyed your story! AT=/ Jean
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
What I mot enjoy about posting these commentary style pieces is the generous feedback of readers sharing their own lives and stories. thanks for your.
Comment from stanishmichelle
Reading this excellent post reminded me of some of the things I try to do, like creating new meals from leftovers, and I can still remember the helpful things my mother told me, although I chose to ignore them at the time. Now I know what she meant, and appreciate what you have written even more. Thank you for this. All the best. Michelle
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
 |
Reading this excellent post reminded me of some of the things I try to do, like creating new meals from leftovers, and I can still remember the helpful things my mother told me, although I chose to ignore them at the time. Now I know what she meant, and appreciate what you have written even more. Thank you for this. All the best. Michelle
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thanks, Michelle, for the stars and for sharing your story. Let me tell you, turning leftovers into a great meal is an art form and will save you thousands in your lifetime.
Comment from gypsycaravan
Oh, did you ever trot me down memory lane. Raising a family of five certainly contained many of these reminiscent thoughts. I, too, cooked a roast or a chicken, sometimes both on the weekend, and any and all leftover vegetables, pasta, or rice got added to the soup during the week. I still do that, occasionally, for my husband and I. Congratulations to us. We did do a good job of feeding our family nutritionally. Loved your piece. Read it three times. If I had a six left, it would be on this essay.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
Oh, did you ever trot me down memory lane. Raising a family of five certainly contained many of these reminiscent thoughts. I, too, cooked a roast or a chicken, sometimes both on the weekend, and any and all leftover vegetables, pasta, or rice got added to the soup during the week. I still do that, occasionally, for my husband and I. Congratulations to us. We did do a good job of feeding our family nutritionally. Loved your piece. Read it three times. If I had a six left, it would be on this essay.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for your gracious and kind words.
Comment from Sasha
My mother had a routine that as a child I took for granted.
She had a vegetable garden, canned everything, made jam, and cleaned house like a pro. Only after I got married did I have a vegetable garden and began canning fresh fruits and vegetables myself. Neither of my children showed any appreciation and neither learned how to cook either. Fortunately they married men that loved to cook (and clean). Obviously my traits didn't rub off on them. Marvelous story that I could relate to on every level. Excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
This is the only review I am doing today, my eyes are still tinny little slits and it is just too hard to read.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
My mother had a routine that as a child I took for granted.
She had a vegetable garden, canned everything, made jam, and cleaned house like a pro. Only after I got married did I have a vegetable garden and began canning fresh fruits and vegetables myself. Neither of my children showed any appreciation and neither learned how to cook either. Fortunately they married men that loved to cook (and clean). Obviously my traits didn't rub off on them. Marvelous story that I could relate to on every level. Excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
This is the only review I am doing today, my eyes are still tinny little slits and it is just too hard to read.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Every day it will become better and better.
My son learned how to cook like a pro, turning out full course meals for the family by age 8--which begs me to understand how he can serve his kids pizza pops and grilled cheese sandwiches foor supper. Thanks for the stars.
Comment from mjac777
Very well written ponder on the importance of house holding chores and responsibilities.
I can so relate to this! I, as well loved to cook and entertain for my family.
I used to think it was the most under appreciated job in the world.
Someone was quoted as saying " When the women of the world wake up - there will be a huge trembling such as the world has ever seen"
You are to be congratulated - I believe creating a wonderful house for one's family is one of the most important jobs in the world.
Well done and expressed.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
Very well written ponder on the importance of house holding chores and responsibilities.
I can so relate to this! I, as well loved to cook and entertain for my family.
I used to think it was the most under appreciated job in the world.
Someone was quoted as saying " When the women of the world wake up - there will be a huge trembling such as the world has ever seen"
You are to be congratulated - I believe creating a wonderful house for one's family is one of the most important jobs in the world.
Well done and expressed.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
That's what I thought, but my son, who is a single parent raising two young kids, doesn't emulate very much from his childhood with his own children.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, spiritual echo, I loved the hero or bum speech you gave to your son and the meals that you prepared every day. I too pull clothes straight from the dryer so I can't fault you there, lol. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
this is very well written, spiritual echo, I loved the hero or bum speech you gave to your son and the meals that you prepared every day. I too pull clothes straight from the dryer so I can't fault you there, lol. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thanks so much. That speech was regurgitated on a monthly bases--sometimes the shortened version--eyebrow cocked with a question in the air. "So, what'll it be today? Hero or bum?"
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I raised four boys and a garden and canning was pretty much a necessity, but I was a stay at home mom. My husband has now retired from the military and I am still working, a 21 year old still at home. The funny thing is my husband does the garden and canning. It's not a necessity any longer, but I guess he likes home grown. I have always had the rule we sit down and eat as a family, my husband missed some because of deployments. I enjoyed reading your nonfiction contest entry. You did a good job writing it. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
I raised four boys and a garden and canning was pretty much a necessity, but I was a stay at home mom. My husband has now retired from the military and I am still working, a 21 year old still at home. The funny thing is my husband does the garden and canning. It's not a necessity any longer, but I guess he likes home grown. I have always had the rule we sit down and eat as a family, my husband missed some because of deployments. I enjoyed reading your nonfiction contest entry. You did a good job writing it. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thanks so much for the review and sharing your story. I'd bet if there was just one of you left, there would be many things you'd stop doing. That's the way it was for me--and it snuck up on me, surprising me as to what didn't matter anymore.
Comment from boxergirl
Great job with your non-fiction essay about the changes that have taken place in the family lifestyles today. You always know how to draw the reader in with your own personal stories yet still make it relevant to us all. 8-)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
Great job with your non-fiction essay about the changes that have taken place in the family lifestyles today. You always know how to draw the reader in with your own personal stories yet still make it relevant to us all. 8-)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
thanks so much.
Comment from innerworlds
I think, perhaps, you were writing this about me. But then, most mom's from my generation would say the same thing.
I look back on my growing up years when my mother did laundry in a "washing machine" that had a basin for washing, which needed to be refilled before rinsing the clothes. This was followed by running the clothes by hand through the ringer bars attached to the basin to get most of the water out. She also sewed clothes for me occasionally on her sewing machine...which wasn't electric, but had a large foot pedal which had to be moved up and down for the sewing to occur. And our clothes weren't permanent press. The iron didn't have steam in it, so she had to sprinkle water onto the clothes from a coke bottle with a perforated cork on top. There was no dishwasher or microwave in sight, and the family actually ate regular home-cooked meals together. So I wonder... did I appreciate all the labor she put into caring for her family? I guess I thought that's just how things were in this world. If the neighbor came home drunk and beat his wife... well, that's just how things were in the neighborhood. And wasn't the rest of the world just like my home and my neighborhood, too?
But all things change over time, and human societies are no exception. My daughter is no longer embarrassed that her lunch box contained homemade bread instead of the latest brand name. My son is too busy to visit very often as he travels all over the world on business and enters lots of IronMan competitions. And, although they don't say it very often, they love me deeply.... even if they don't have a clue as to why I get up on the roof by myself to clean the gutters or scrub the floor on my hands and knees. Ah... but they do understand completely when I dress myself with clothes straight out of the dryer! Such is motherhood through the ages.
Thanks for this very eloquent and touching essay that reaches into the heart and soul of a mom. Flawless and masterful writing! And I would like to bookmark it to remind myself from time that we moms are all in this together! Thank you!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
I think, perhaps, you were writing this about me. But then, most mom's from my generation would say the same thing.
I look back on my growing up years when my mother did laundry in a "washing machine" that had a basin for washing, which needed to be refilled before rinsing the clothes. This was followed by running the clothes by hand through the ringer bars attached to the basin to get most of the water out. She also sewed clothes for me occasionally on her sewing machine...which wasn't electric, but had a large foot pedal which had to be moved up and down for the sewing to occur. And our clothes weren't permanent press. The iron didn't have steam in it, so she had to sprinkle water onto the clothes from a coke bottle with a perforated cork on top. There was no dishwasher or microwave in sight, and the family actually ate regular home-cooked meals together. So I wonder... did I appreciate all the labor she put into caring for her family? I guess I thought that's just how things were in this world. If the neighbor came home drunk and beat his wife... well, that's just how things were in the neighborhood. And wasn't the rest of the world just like my home and my neighborhood, too?
But all things change over time, and human societies are no exception. My daughter is no longer embarrassed that her lunch box contained homemade bread instead of the latest brand name. My son is too busy to visit very often as he travels all over the world on business and enters lots of IronMan competitions. And, although they don't say it very often, they love me deeply.... even if they don't have a clue as to why I get up on the roof by myself to clean the gutters or scrub the floor on my hands and knees. Ah... but they do understand completely when I dress myself with clothes straight out of the dryer! Such is motherhood through the ages.
Thanks for this very eloquent and touching essay that reaches into the heart and soul of a mom. Flawless and masterful writing! And I would like to bookmark it to remind myself from time that we moms are all in this together! Thank you!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thanks so much, especially for sharing a part of your life with me. My first washing machine was a wringer--a massive argument between my first husband and I as he wouldn't agree to an automatic washing machine--too expensive--and damn it, it was my money, but I thought I needed permission. Instead I issued an ultimatum. 'If we buy this machine, it's you that will be doing the bloody laundry.' and so the wringer came home and for the next 12 years while we were married, he did the laundry--even after we got an automatic.
-
Simply delightful and long lasting revenge! Awesome! Thanks! (0:}
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Priorities shift over time, Ingrid, and it's always more satisfying to do for someone else - even if they don't notice and we're really doing it for ourselves.
The same goes for food. Soup was an economical way to keep something nutritious on hand. That was in the days before every expert was harping on what we should and shouldn't eat. Once they started harping, we began stopping at Hardee's. Coincidence? I don't think so.
I used to do the same thing with flowers. I had a routine, and everything got done every week. Now my time's not mine, and I take care of the worst of the mess moments before it becomes a health hazard. No, I don't have a cleaning lady. I'd have to clean before she showed up.
Someday my house will be clean again. And empty of all unnecessary clutter. That's what I tell myself, anyway. Of course, I'll need heavy equipment to make it happen. Or, at least, my heirs will.
Well done, Ingrid. Enjoyed it. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
Priorities shift over time, Ingrid, and it's always more satisfying to do for someone else - even if they don't notice and we're really doing it for ourselves.
The same goes for food. Soup was an economical way to keep something nutritious on hand. That was in the days before every expert was harping on what we should and shouldn't eat. Once they started harping, we began stopping at Hardee's. Coincidence? I don't think so.
I used to do the same thing with flowers. I had a routine, and everything got done every week. Now my time's not mine, and I take care of the worst of the mess moments before it becomes a health hazard. No, I don't have a cleaning lady. I'd have to clean before she showed up.
Someday my house will be clean again. And empty of all unnecessary clutter. That's what I tell myself, anyway. Of course, I'll need heavy equipment to make it happen. Or, at least, my heirs will.
Well done, Ingrid. Enjoyed it. :) Nancy
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
They surely do shift and especially when we live alone, we sort out what matters to us and what does not. what amazes me is how little it matters to me, but I still run around cleaning my kid's house.
