Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Barry In Charge, The Bard Gets Ready"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
11 total reviews
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm so confused. Is this still "The Bard of Beverly Hills?" This piece is hilarious, actually, and as usual, the speech by the Bard is the best part. I'm not sure about the pictures. They really worked with the poem; I'm still on the fence about them here, but they work with the humor. Loved the crazy names and the upside-down "Bewitched" reference. I have a little trouble with large numbers of kidnapped children as an object of humor, but I'll read on & keep an open mind - -
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I'm so confused. Is this still "The Bard of Beverly Hills?" This piece is hilarious, actually, and as usual, the speech by the Bard is the best part. I'm not sure about the pictures. They really worked with the poem; I'm still on the fence about them here, but they work with the humor. Loved the crazy names and the upside-down "Bewitched" reference. I have a little trouble with large numbers of kidnapped children as an object of humor, but I'll read on & keep an open mind - -
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I liked your description of Barry commandeering the compound and all the fun characters who were introduced. So, the plan is to capture the Bard so the kids may be more accessible, well written story line. Most enjoyable and I like all the visuals. Faye
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I liked your description of Barry commandeering the compound and all the fun characters who were introduced. So, the plan is to capture the Bard so the kids may be more accessible, well written story line. Most enjoyable and I like all the visuals. Faye
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Another great chapter. Love the pictures. I watched Bewitched a lot when I was a lad. It looks uniform, nice and clean. I like this new Times Roman. It reads smoothly. I got nothin' negative to say. Perfect job, and you know what perfection equals ... count your doubloon, Lion King. do loco
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Another great chapter. Love the pictures. I watched Bewitched a lot when I was a lad. It looks uniform, nice and clean. I like this new Times Roman. It reads smoothly. I got nothin' negative to say. Perfect job, and you know what perfection equals ... count your doubloon, Lion King. do loco
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
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Thank you very much sir Loco. I'm finally over losing all those chapters. It should be fun when he's a prisoner. He'll have a great time screwing with the guards talking crazy crap. Should be entertaing. Muchos gracias!!! Estrellas es muy bueno. Es Bastante bien. miguel
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ANYTIME ...
Comment from l.raven
LMAO....OMG...Bard is a trip....well they are getting ready to move the kids out...and Barry seems to be in charge...but help is on the way...let's see what they do with Bard...he'll do the job...just not as a prisoner...LOL...this is a great chapter Michael...smiling...very well thought of...this whole story...now take your time...and don't worry...all is well...luff Linda xoo love
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LMAO....OMG...Bard is a trip....well they are getting ready to move the kids out...and Barry seems to be in charge...but help is on the way...let's see what they do with Bard...he'll do the job...just not as a prisoner...LOL...this is a great chapter Michael...smiling...very well thought of...this whole story...now take your time...and don't worry...all is well...luff Linda xoo love
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from seaglass
It will be interesting to see where Barry takes the kids and the entire situation. Bard continues to develop a character that reveals more about him than anyone could have at first expected.
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It will be interesting to see where Barry takes the kids and the entire situation. Bard continues to develop a character that reveals more about him than anyone could have at first expected.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from robina1978
Thanks for your intro, that made even I can follow it. I found it well written with a good balance between narrative and dialogue. Nice layout.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thanks for your intro, that made even I can follow it. I found it well written with a good balance between narrative and dialogue. Nice layout.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you so very much. I"m so pleased that you enjoyed this. Wow. Love all the stars!!! I hope you are doing well. Take care, mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
Now you are clearly back in stride. Loving the plot direction. The thought of the Bard interacting with his captors has me laughing already. I can feel your brain brimming with surprises!!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Now you are clearly back in stride. Loving the plot direction. The thought of the Bard interacting with his captors has me laughing already. I can feel your brain brimming with surprises!!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Yes. I am feeling back in the groove. You have it on the money. The Bard interacting with his captors is my main motivation. mikey
Comment from drivenbackward
Nice job, Michael. Military humor? Just stopping in, so I'm not sure, but it reads well. A bit long on the pictures for me, but if that's your style, go with it! A few notes to consider:
The soldiers where dronish in nature and unspirited -- Did you intend 'where'?
The large plaque on the door said -- Might want to go with 'read'. Doors can't speak.
Winston's... to Barry's office. -- Ellipsis has space on each side. Check many spots.
He froze and became rigid -- Can make this more active. 'Became' is usually (not always) a writer's enemy.
And a fine arse it 'tis too -- Funny dialogue in this section.
Your only gay if the fantasy continues into your old age -- you're
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Nice job, Michael. Military humor? Just stopping in, so I'm not sure, but it reads well. A bit long on the pictures for me, but if that's your style, go with it! A few notes to consider:
The soldiers where dronish in nature and unspirited -- Did you intend 'where'?
The large plaque on the door said -- Might want to go with 'read'. Doors can't speak.
Winston's... to Barry's office. -- Ellipsis has space on each side. Check many spots.
He froze and became rigid -- Can make this more active. 'Became' is usually (not always) a writer's enemy.
And a fine arse it 'tis too -- Funny dialogue in this section.
Your only gay if the fantasy continues into your old age -- you're
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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The pictures are a bit of a phase. Just figured out how to do it and going overboard! So, instead of "became" something active. That makes sense. Good tip. Glad you liked the funny part. The Bard is more or less the main focus and the story is an excuse to have him go off on tangents for my amusement. Hahaha. He's a mentally ill homeless man from Bel Air and this is a sequel. So, running out of plot somewhat! But, he is liable to bust out with anything at anytime. So, it's hard to stop writing him. He's an excellent poet and lyricist as well and often throws a poem in the mix. Thanks for the tips and input. Much appreciated. mikey
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No problem, Mikey. He seems like a unique and interesting character. :) Dan
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Hmmmmmm..., very unusual piece and setting! Very well written with a lot of "gusto" ( that's not beer ) but a BRAVO for your imagination!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Hmmmmmm..., very unusual piece and setting! Very well written with a lot of "gusto" ( that's not beer ) but a BRAVO for your imagination!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you. The fun is writing the main character, The Bard. The plot sometimes limps in a distant second! Glad you liked it. mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
So Barry takes over... where is Winston again? It's been a while and I've lost track. Why would the Bard need capturing? For whom? For the cops? For the criminals? I don't get that part.
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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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So Barry takes over... where is Winston again? It's been a while and I've lost track. Why would the Bard need capturing? For whom? For the cops? For the criminals? I don't get that part.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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The Bard beat up Winston on the roof of Caesar's to get the location of the school. He was taken to the E.R. and surrounded by FBI agents so he couldn't escape. So, he's in custody. They are thinking that the two girls could infiltrate the compound as members and "capture" the Bard so that he would be where the prisoners are which would hopefully allow him to find the kids location. They're thinking it's a large compound and the kids could by anywhere. Plus, that gives the girls credibility there. If they just get caught snooping then they get nowhere. Does it make sense? mikey
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Yes ,thnaks for reminding me that Winston was captured. I recall that now. I have a short memory.
