Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "We Survive"A book of Poetry & Writing
111 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
War is something that I know exists, but something I can not understand. This poem spoken from the POV of a child during the blitz of London captures the sounds and chaos. The sounds of the Bells of Bow, as the families leave London, or send their children away to safer ground adds to the clarity of the fractured scene.
Nice use of Free Verse to tell this story of war. War rises and falls like some grotesque tide, unfortunately, it is on the rise again.
Rose.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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War is something that I know exists, but something I can not understand. This poem spoken from the POV of a child during the blitz of London captures the sounds and chaos. The sounds of the Bells of Bow, as the families leave London, or send their children away to safer ground adds to the clarity of the fractured scene.
Nice use of Free Verse to tell this story of war. War rises and falls like some grotesque tide, unfortunately, it is on the rise again.
Rose.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks Rose
Comment from acerisestory
A beautifully written poem, gw!
Your poem tells the story of the blitz in beautiful and terrifying detail. It moves with a great rhythm. You've made very good use of alliteration in shelters/safe, salvation/seek; siren/sings; bow/bells. I am particularly moved by the last line of beseechment:
Oh, father we pray you.
Nicely done! Thank you for sharing, gw. Alana
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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A beautifully written poem, gw!
Your poem tells the story of the blitz in beautiful and terrifying detail. It moves with a great rhythm. You've made very good use of alliteration in shelters/safe, salvation/seek; siren/sings; bow/bells. I am particularly moved by the last line of beseechment:
Oh, father we pray you.
Nicely done! Thank you for sharing, gw. Alana
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks Alana
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You are welcome! Alana
Comment from TOMORAL
This beautifully haunting. What ordeals they must have endured, and to come out alive, yet. Very well done, poet, and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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This beautifully haunting. What ordeals they must have endured, and to come out alive, yet. Very well done, poet, and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks Tom
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. A timely poem...as i am sure there are simalar stories happeing in Gaza at the moment.
The verse moves along and I like the short lines to keep up the beat.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Hi. A timely poem...as i am sure there are simalar stories happeing in Gaza at the moment.
The verse moves along and I like the short lines to keep up the beat.
padumachitta
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks
Comment from brentman99
A nice poem with a good supporting picture. Overall, I like the poem and appreciate the choice of a grey, sombre background and black text.
I have a few comments that you can use or ignore:
The shelters are(delete extra space) safe haven below
re lived should probably be re-lived
a-round - should be likely be around - I was wondering if you did this on purpose or not.
Siren sings out all clear - how about "sirens sing out" - I think more than one would be effective here.
Father/father - pick one and be consistent as you use father at the top of the poem and Father at the end.
For Edith Dalling and her daughter Phyllis(.) Both spent much of the blitz in London finding shelter in a cupboard under the stairs, and live to tell (about it).
Overall, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
|
A nice poem with a good supporting picture. Overall, I like the poem and appreciate the choice of a grey, sombre background and black text.
I have a few comments that you can use or ignore:
The shelters are(delete extra space) safe haven below
re lived should probably be re-lived
a-round - should be likely be around - I was wondering if you did this on purpose or not.
Siren sings out all clear - how about "sirens sing out" - I think more than one would be effective here.
Father/father - pick one and be consistent as you use father at the top of the poem and Father at the end.
For Edith Dalling and her daughter Phyllis(.) Both spent much of the blitz in London finding shelter in a cupboard under the stairs, and live to tell (about it).
Overall, I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks Brent
Comment from Bryan G
As a history buff I can say that your poem is a winner. War takes such a horrible toll on children. Those least able to defend themselves are often at the center of the hostilities. This was seen yesterday with the deaths of 40 Iraqi children in fighting between Muslims and Christians.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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As a history buff I can say that your poem is a winner. War takes such a horrible toll on children. Those least able to defend themselves are often at the center of the hostilities. This was seen yesterday with the deaths of 40 Iraqi children in fighting between Muslims and Christians.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Deepwater,
Nice piece of War and History Poetry transparently displaying its theme!
Wording is impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Smooth flow with good alliteration at some places and lively imagery.
These lines are particularly noteworthy:
"Death and destruction lay a-round"
&
"History will tell us its tale
Man can survive every turmoil and strife..."
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
|
Hello Deepwater,
Nice piece of War and History Poetry transparently displaying its theme!
Wording is impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Smooth flow with good alliteration at some places and lively imagery.
These lines are particularly noteworthy:
"Death and destruction lay a-round"
&
"History will tell us its tale
Man can survive every turmoil and strife..."
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks for this
Comment from dragonpoet
The picture is compelling and shows the effects of war on children. They stick to the things that give them strength, the teddy bear, when they don't understand what is happening around them.
This free verse poem has strong images and sounds of war. The sirens and bells and the idea of adults and maybe children fervently praying for safety and life at the end of all the war.
The effects of war don't stop at the end. The memories can cause a lot of problems too.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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The picture is compelling and shows the effects of war on children. They stick to the things that give them strength, the teddy bear, when they don't understand what is happening around them.
This free verse poem has strong images and sounds of war. The sirens and bells and the idea of adults and maybe children fervently praying for safety and life at the end of all the war.
The effects of war don't stop at the end. The memories can cause a lot of problems too.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thanks Joan
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You're welcome, Gary.
Joan
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
hello there~!
Wow! This is an amazing poem that captures the scene of a war, and also the emotions of people during it.
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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hello there~!
Wow! This is an amazing poem that captures the scene of a war, and also the emotions of people during it.
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from TamzinWhite
Your words take me there. Through strife and conflict comes comfort and peace. It speaks of war but also of safety and family. As well as drawing a picture of London and sound, with the bells, I am also led to consider faith and love. Sweet and haunting all at the same time.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Your words take me there. Through strife and conflict comes comfort and peace. It speaks of war but also of safety and family. As well as drawing a picture of London and sound, with the bells, I am also led to consider faith and love. Sweet and haunting all at the same time.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2014
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Thank you
