Bonnie and Turtle Blue
When Children Smile!-Contest Entry37 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
Wonderful. Story .....with a sweet heart felt message....
Isn't it great you can give kids a story that uplifts....
Well done
God bless
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Wonderful. Story .....with a sweet heart felt message....
Isn't it great you can give kids a story that uplifts....
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
That was great, Michael. It's rare to read a poem that reads like a story, especially a story with a point that also delivers emotional impact. I enjoyed it the whole way through! Well done.
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That was great, Michael. It's rare to read a poem that reads like a story, especially a story with a point that also delivers emotional impact. I enjoyed it the whole way through! Well done.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is an amazing children's story. you must publish. t would need art work, what you have is splendid if you could get the rights to use it. It truly is genius. Deserves 6 stars, but I have none
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This is an amazing children's story. you must publish. t would need art work, what you have is splendid if you could get the rights to use it. It truly is genius. Deserves 6 stars, but I have none
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I wish I had a six for this poem/story. It's perfect. I loved every word I read. You did a great job and the best of luck with the contest.
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I wish I had a six for this poem/story. It's perfect. I loved every word I read. You did a great job and the best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh my God,Oh my God, Oh my God. this is truly wonderful. i love to read your writing as it carrys a reader along wheher he wants to go or not
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Oh my God,Oh my God, Oh my God. this is truly wonderful. i love to read your writing as it carrys a reader along wheher he wants to go or not
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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My very first children's poem. I am so delighted that you liked this. I was hoping you would. It was truly enjoyable to write this thinking of a bunch of kids sitting in a circle listening to it. How cool, huh? Thank you so very much my friend, mikey
Comment from JavaJunkie
Simply fantastic! All the artwork is nice to, but your story brought tears to my eyes in its sweet tenderness. It's a timeless tale of love, the common bond, and the sweet faith of a child. I think this should be a strong contender for the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Simply fantastic! All the artwork is nice to, but your story brought tears to my eyes in its sweet tenderness. It's a timeless tale of love, the common bond, and the sweet faith of a child. I think this should be a strong contender for the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Wow. What a wonderful encouraging reaction. You've truly made my day. This is my first children's piece. So I'm really excited that you enjoyed it so much. A million thanks for the great review and all the stars!! mikey
Comment from Nosha17
The illustrations are great, not distracting. A great children's story, appealing as it entails a child helping a wee animal/turtle in distress. The rhyming is great. You mentioned the metre. I took a look as an example in the next to last verse, line 1, 'As Bonnie held tight.....water churned' Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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The illustrations are great, not distracting. A great children's story, appealing as it entails a child helping a wee animal/turtle in distress. The rhyming is great. You mentioned the metre. I took a look as an example in the next to last verse, line 1, 'As Bonnie held tight.....water churned' Most enjoyable and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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So glad you enjoyed it. Great compliment coming from you. This is my first children's piece. I've gone in and worked on the meter some more. So, it's improved a bit I think. Thank you so much, mikey
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
a brand and wonderful story within a poem of a turtle and his friend at first a little girl now grown to a woman. She saved the turtle when he was young and he was grown she let him go back to the sea. Later this turtle returned the favor by saving her from sharks when she was older.
Your imagination might be is very inventive and ingeniously creative where your imagery is so demonstratively descriptive and elegantly expressive throughout.
Your rhyming was done very well with neither of your rhymes were being neither forced nor labored and a rhythm that flowed fairly well throughout your poem.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read in May the Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Mikey;
a brand and wonderful story within a poem of a turtle and his friend at first a little girl now grown to a woman. She saved the turtle when he was young and he was grown she let him go back to the sea. Later this turtle returned the favor by saving her from sharks when she was older.
Your imagination might be is very inventive and ingeniously creative where your imagery is so demonstratively descriptive and elegantly expressive throughout.
Your rhyming was done very well with neither of your rhymes were being neither forced nor labored and a rhythm that flowed fairly well throughout your poem.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read in May the Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Wow. What a wonderful review my friend. This is my first children's poem so I'm just thrilled with your encouraging review. This was really fun to write. I've gone in and edited and tried to improve the meter somewhat. So, I think it is a little smoother now. Great review. Thank you so much. mikey
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Mike you have not read very much of your stories but when you write your poetry is changed over the time in this home within a story was written so well children would really love it.
Alex
PS: You are so extremely welcome and it is my pleasure
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the poem. I love the pictures. A handicapped little girl saves a handicapped turtle. Both grew scared but strong. The little girl had to send the turtle on his way. Then one day the girl faced danger in the ocean. The turtle saved the girl. I bet the girl did not expect that. She did her good deed out of the kindness of her heart. Great work.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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I love the poem. I love the pictures. A handicapped little girl saves a handicapped turtle. Both grew scared but strong. The little girl had to send the turtle on his way. Then one day the girl faced danger in the ocean. The turtle saved the girl. I bet the girl did not expect that. She did her good deed out of the kindness of her heart. Great work.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much. This was great fun to write. My very first children's poem. I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed it. Big smiles. mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
So glad I have a six left this Saturday morning. This is a wonderful story. The iams aren't all perfect, but the story itself is better than perfect, so, as soon as you fix this error, you'll earn my last six. Beautiful piece, truly!
If gull's could speak, << GULLS, no apostrophe
NEVER use an apostrophe-S to make a word plural. Save it for possessive nouns and contractions. :)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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So glad I have a six left this Saturday morning. This is a wonderful story. The iams aren't all perfect, but the story itself is better than perfect, so, as soon as you fix this error, you'll earn my last six. Beautiful piece, truly!
If gull's could speak, << GULLS, no apostrophe
NEVER use an apostrophe-S to make a word plural. Save it for possessive nouns and contractions. :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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I received some help on the iams and spent a couple hours working on them. It reads a little better I think. Take a peek if you have a chance. I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. My first children's story. Big smiles!!! mikey
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Wow! It's even better with the meter corrected..... now worth seven stars. *******
