Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I vaguely remember this as a passed on lore. Not good publicity for fairies. LOL. From first line to the last, I found myself in a dark place and my mind read it in a sinister voice. A message to parents here too. Great title that screams BEWARE.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you for the excellent review. Ooo what a nice compliment that you found yourself in a dark place and reading it with a sinister voice. Thank you for mentioning the title and your insights on how it made you feel. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi

Comment from Carole Rosa

Excellent

Debi,
My daughter spells her name as "Debi" also. Not many Debi's around. She's a 47 year old pain in my neck, and if your fairies are going to snatch anyone, would you please choose her!!!! Ha.

Your presentation is lovely, but the poem is a little dark.
However, the poem is written well. Carole

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Oh, Carole, I'm sure you would miss her if they did snatch her. Thank you for the humor and a great review. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This poem reminds me of so many of those fairy tales were witches or in this case fairies stealing the apples of our eyes and warning us to look after our children, well written poem, I loved your skill in assembling this great poem, nice ababcc rhyming and even meter, well done, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you for the great review, Roy. I did like the scary fairy tales as a child. My parents had the old versions where the wolf often eats the other characters such as Red Ridding Hood and two of the three pigs...and the third pig ate the wolf. Frightening stuff.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Nicely done pantoum. I never heard this myth, and the 'fetch' left behind is really creeeepy. Who knew fairies coudl be so nasty and heartless? I always thought they were supposed to be good. Not so, evidently.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you for sharing your insights and the great comments. Yes, the older tales paint fairies as mischievous and loving to play tricks on humans. They were not quite the cute little creatures we think of nowadays.

Comment from OLA THOMAS

Excellent

This is a wonderful poetic form that ditch a poet in between two ridges of poetic valley. You got a well balanced work out of it. Good work.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you for the encouraging comments, OlaThomas. It was a fun topic, although a bit dark. Debi

Comment from Kausar_Javeria

Excellent

Hello there~!
I absolutely loved this unique pantoum sonnet portraying something good doing something evil.
I loved each and every line!
Great Job!

JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)

(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

I am so happy that you liked this poem so much, Kausar. I appreciate the positive and encouraging comments. Look out for the fairies. Debi

Comment from BLACKDYKE

Excellent

Too complicated for me w.j. But oh
so easy to read and understand. I
understand that it complies to that
requirement, but I love the rhythm
and repetitivity of this imaginative
poem. Eric

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

What a nice compliment...easy to read and understand. I am so pleased you enjoyed this dark little piece. Thank you. Debi

reply by BLACKDYKE on 05-Aug-2014

My pleasure

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

I love original fairy tales - they were always dark and menacing and this certainly fills the bill. Definitely not something for a bedtime story for the kids - unless you have an extremely warped sense of humor.

Very nicely done - flowed beautifully and very visual. AT=/

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

I love the old fairy tales too, AT. My friends seemed to think they were a bit too macabre. We had some old books where the wolf eats two of the pigs and the third pig eats him. And both Red Riding Hood and her granny were eaten and then the woodsman killed the wolf and cut them out. My friends had the versions where everyone runs away.

I am so please you liked this dark tale. Thank you for the encouragement. Debi

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Love this! and within the parameters of a Pantoum sonnet makes it even more special
no I don't know much about the rules here but I get your gist and can see the effect of the repeating reinforcing line repeated in the next verse which leads me to the suggestion if it doesn't break the rules to change the last line of the poem to:


Tonight we fairies feel so fearsome wild.
The changeling child will be our precious prize.

it just follows the theme better repeating this line from the previous verse just a suggestion its still a great poem either way!

thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

Thank you for the encouraging comments, Dr. Dip. I always appreciate suggestions for improvement. This form does require the ending line to be the same as the third line of the poem. It was fun trying to make it work. I am so happy you liked this dark little tale. Thank you. Debi

reply by DR DIP on 04-Aug-2014

fair enough its a grat poem as it is anyway ggod luck again

dip

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming in excellent English sonnet pattern
good alliteration in fairies feel so fearsome
good assonance in feel so fearsome
good alliteration in fuels the fire
I love the story line
good use of consistent iambic meter
excellent use of the repeating lines in pantoum form
great concluding couplet
:-) Brooke

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014

Thank you for the detailed review, Brooke. I am so pleased you like the storyline. A review from you always means so much. Debi