Snatched
Pantoum Sonnet33 total reviews
Comment from acerisestory
This is a well written pantoum and sonnet, w.j. It's spooky, to boot! Parents: guard your child carefully!
Your poem flows beautifully, has a lovely rhythm and rhyme. You've made good use of alliteration to enhance the flow of your words.
Thank you for sharing. Alana
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
  |
This is a well written pantoum and sonnet, w.j. It's spooky, to boot! Parents: guard your child carefully!
Your poem flows beautifully, has a lovely rhythm and rhyme. You've made good use of alliteration to enhance the flow of your words.
Thank you for sharing. Alana
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the encouarging review and kind comments about the writing, Alana. I appreciate it. Debi
-
You are welcome! Alana
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi debi - This is both a very good Pantoum and Sonnet. Very well written in abab form and I like your spooky end couplet. Good explanatory author notes - all a good read. Kind regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
|
Hi debi - This is both a very good Pantoum and Sonnet. Very well written in abab form and I like your spooky end couplet. Good explanatory author notes - all a good read. Kind regards Dorothy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the lovely review, Dorothy. I appreciate the kind comments about the poem and the author notes. Watch out for those fairies! Debi
Comment from Eric1
Hi Debi, this is a hauntingly beautiful Pantoum sonnet, it has all the right ingredients for an excellent work, your authors notes are also excellent. I never knew that about the word 'Fetch', great poem my friend.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
|
Hi Debi, this is a hauntingly beautiful Pantoum sonnet, it has all the right ingredients for an excellent work, your authors notes are also excellent. I never knew that about the word 'Fetch', great poem my friend.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the kind review, Eric. I am happy you enjoyed it and appreciate the encouragement. Debi
-
You are so welcome Debi.
Comment from rama devi
Superb crafting and what a unique subject for a sonnet, well portrayed with an almost whimsical dark flavor in the voicing. Superb rhyming and flawless meter. Outstanding alliteration of F in the first two lines. Good alliteration of P in lines 3 and 4. My only suggestion for the first stanza is to consider using enjambment rather than having all lines end in periods. Perhaps a dash after line three?
Tonight we fairies feel so fearsome wild.
Dark mischief fuels the fire within our veins.
We're on the prowl to snatch a human child.(--)
A prank like this so truly entertains.
Nice assonance of E here:
We'll leave enchanted fetch and gain a pet.
A prank like this so truly entertains.
But humans, oh, so quickly you forget.
More good phonetics with CH and P sounds alliterated:
The changeling child will be our precious prize.
Good closing couplet. Good alliteration on W and F. Optional comma suggestion:
Tonight(,) we fairies feel so fearsome wild.
We're on the prowl to snatch a human child.
Great presentation.
Sounds super-musical read aloud (with a gleam in the eye)-LOL
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
|
Superb crafting and what a unique subject for a sonnet, well portrayed with an almost whimsical dark flavor in the voicing. Superb rhyming and flawless meter. Outstanding alliteration of F in the first two lines. Good alliteration of P in lines 3 and 4. My only suggestion for the first stanza is to consider using enjambment rather than having all lines end in periods. Perhaps a dash after line three?
Tonight we fairies feel so fearsome wild.
Dark mischief fuels the fire within our veins.
We're on the prowl to snatch a human child.(--)
A prank like this so truly entertains.
Nice assonance of E here:
We'll leave enchanted fetch and gain a pet.
A prank like this so truly entertains.
But humans, oh, so quickly you forget.
More good phonetics with CH and P sounds alliterated:
The changeling child will be our precious prize.
Good closing couplet. Good alliteration on W and F. Optional comma suggestion:
Tonight(,) we fairies feel so fearsome wild.
We're on the prowl to snatch a human child.
Great presentation.
Sounds super-musical read aloud (with a gleam in the eye)-LOL
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
-
Hi Rama Devi,
I've seen your name as the top reviewer and numerous times as the reviewer of the month. If this review is an example of the detail you give to everything you review, then I can see why. Your comments are knowledgeable and helpful.
I appreciate the attention to detail in your analysis. I have made the changes you suggested in punctuation. I especially appreciate you pointing out the assonance in the poem. I have taken a few classes from Brooke this year and have learned a lot about form and structure, but I admit I still struggle to identify assonance so this really helps.
I am so pleased you enjoyed the dark flavor of this piece with a throw back to the mischievous fairies of the medieval fairy tales. It was fun to imagine them getting ready to go on the hunt for their changeling.
Thank you for dropping by. Debi
-
Thanks for your super kind and gracious response, Debi--much appreciated!
Warm Smiles, rd
Comment from LIJ Red
I thought deja vu had descended on my poor grey head, so I looked-it's a trap. There's two of them. This lot sounds more like the ageless soulless vile critters Mew wrote about. Same gig. Same score.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
|
I thought deja vu had descended on my poor grey head, so I looked-it's a trap. There's two of them. This lot sounds more like the ageless soulless vile critters Mew wrote about. Same gig. Same score.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for dropping by again so soon. Yes, this one is a bit darker. I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you. Debi
Comment from Delahay
I like the way you repeat the lines in this poem. It flows well with these lines and tells an interesting tale of the fairies search for a child to take in exchange for the fetch they leave behind.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
|
I like the way you repeat the lines in this poem. It flows well with these lines and tells an interesting tale of the fairies search for a child to take in exchange for the fetch they leave behind.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for stopping by again so soon and taking the time to find the first poem. You say such encouraging things. I appreciate it. Debi
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, w.j. debi, you did an excellent job writing this pantoum sonnet about the mischievious fairies and the thievery they're out to partake in. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
|
this is very well written, w.j. debi, you did an excellent job writing this pantoum sonnet about the mischievious fairies and the thievery they're out to partake in. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the excellent review and the nice compliment. I am so happy you enjoyed this dark little piece. Debi
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Debi,
WoW, watch out for the invasion of the fairies! They be out in force tonight! Good story in your poem.
Well done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
|
Hi Debi,
WoW, watch out for the invasion of the fairies! They be out in force tonight! Good story in your poem.
Well done.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the kind comments, Jax. I appreciate the encouragement. Yes, do watch out for those fairies. Debi
Comment from c_lucas
Fairies stealing children, an unusual suspense. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very enterprising read.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
Fairies stealing children, an unusual suspense. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very enterprising read.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. This is based on older tales that are not so common any more. The fairies were far mor dangerous and mischievous in the ancient tales. Thank you for the excellent review. Debi
-
You're welcome, Debi. Charlie
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is a brilliantly written Pantoum Sonnet. Must have been tough to keep up to the specifications. The topic is sad. Who would have thought fairies would snatch a human child. The lines are so well put together. I think I will take up the challenge when I have a bit of time on my hands. Good luck with this.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
|
This is a brilliantly written Pantoum Sonnet. Must have been tough to keep up to the specifications. The topic is sad. Who would have thought fairies would snatch a human child. The lines are so well put together. I think I will take up the challenge when I have a bit of time on my hands. Good luck with this.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
-
Thank you for the excellent review, Drew. I am so pleased you enjoyed this poem.
Do try the form when you get a chance. I found it quite fun to put together. I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you for dropping by. Debi
