Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Fragrance of First Night"A book of Poetry & Writing
117 total reviews
Comment from DSMalott
Excellent poetic presentation!
It appears that the wedding night is on center stage, with appropriate passion and love described without any unneeded graphic language. The perceptive choice of words gave just the right hint of heated romance without offense.
Very nice.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014
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Excellent poetic presentation!
It appears that the wedding night is on center stage, with appropriate passion and love described without any unneeded graphic language. The perceptive choice of words gave just the right hint of heated romance without offense.
Very nice.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014
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thank you
Comment from joeakeefe
You present a "vivid word picture" of the nuptial eve and the prize that awaited the anticipation. The work illustrates, in my opinion, the beauty and sacredness of marriage, that pledge of undying fidelity. I find the phrase "your fragrance lingers on my lips" to be a very powerful statement of the totality of the experience of a couple's first coming together.
You set aside the thought of "conquering" with the phrase "so pure with no ambition. The photo lends itself nicely to the theme that you present.
joeakeefe
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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You present a "vivid word picture" of the nuptial eve and the prize that awaited the anticipation. The work illustrates, in my opinion, the beauty and sacredness of marriage, that pledge of undying fidelity. I find the phrase "your fragrance lingers on my lips" to be a very powerful statement of the totality of the experience of a couple's first coming together.
You set aside the thought of "conquering" with the phrase "so pure with no ambition. The photo lends itself nicely to the theme that you present.
joeakeefe
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Again thank you
Comment from Christine B.
I can imagine this being read aloud, such passion, and so it does live in my mind's eye. Sexuality bursting forth with an elegance. Quality outpouring.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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I can imagine this being read aloud, such passion, and so it does live in my mind's eye. Sexuality bursting forth with an elegance. Quality outpouring.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from gypsycaravan
First nights are the most exquisite. Describing them is nearly impossible but you've done a great job. I love the phrase "bodies charged from endless tease." Isn't that the truth, there is no rushing on that first night. Ha Good job.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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First nights are the most exquisite. Describing them is nearly impossible but you've done a great job. I love the phrase "bodies charged from endless tease." Isn't that the truth, there is no rushing on that first night. Ha Good job.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Michaelk
This poem is fantastic. You deftly combined the heat and passion of lust with the virtue and truth of love. Your rhythm was very good but your rhyme was hit and miss. (unless this is a form I don't recognize, which is very possible)
In either case it didn't keep me fro. Enjoying this poem. This isn't something I would see as vows being exchanged publicly, but privately, absolutely.
Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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This poem is fantastic. You deftly combined the heat and passion of lust with the virtue and truth of love. Your rhythm was very good but your rhyme was hit and miss. (unless this is a form I don't recognize, which is very possible)
In either case it didn't keep me fro. Enjoying this poem. This isn't something I would see as vows being exchanged publicly, but privately, absolutely.
Excellent poem.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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LoL thanks for the review
Gary
Comment from kukarad70
Dear Deepwater,
This is the experience of loving couple who are in deep love got drawn heavily in love in first night. They have feelings of heavenly enjoyment. For this the supporting line of the poem is "Our bodies charged from endless tease, this first night love with you." They two are combined passionately to fulfill burning desire of sex after having the sweet love of them being reached in optimum point and touched the peak of ecstasy of love which becoming memorable for forever of this first night to them.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Dear Deepwater,
This is the experience of loving couple who are in deep love got drawn heavily in love in first night. They have feelings of heavenly enjoyment. For this the supporting line of the poem is "Our bodies charged from endless tease, this first night love with you." They two are combined passionately to fulfill burning desire of sex after having the sweet love of them being reached in optimum point and touched the peak of ecstasy of love which becoming memorable for forever of this first night to them.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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thank you for this
Comment from Sonjalee
What a lovely poem. It sings to me and stimulates memories of romance and love. OUr bodies charged with endless tease...
the words you chose were very sensuous and well thought out.
This is a perfect poem . Thatis why I am having difficulty finding words because you have done a beautiful job . I'll just say, I love it.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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What a lovely poem. It sings to me and stimulates memories of romance and love. OUr bodies charged with endless tease...
the words you chose were very sensuous and well thought out.
This is a perfect poem . Thatis why I am having difficulty finding words because you have done a beautiful job . I'll just say, I love it.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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thanks Sonjalee
Comment from Distracted23
Free verse poems allow the writer more liberty, in my opinion. You have really captured the mood in this piece. Lovely contest entry. Well done. Be well and always write.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Free verse poems allow the writer more liberty, in my opinion. You have really captured the mood in this piece. Lovely contest entry. Well done. Be well and always write.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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thank you
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there deepwater. I am Bear Smith and I love this poem. The memories from that first night and first time linger on for a life time. I love the chosen artwork for this and ther font used as well
Bear
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Hey there deepwater. I am Bear Smith and I love this poem. The memories from that first night and first time linger on for a life time. I love the chosen artwork for this and ther font used as well
Bear
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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thanks Bear
Comment from Finglas
I like the way you handle this subject with such delicacy. Your imagery and rhyme scheme create a very sensuous, sensory picture. I particulate like. "Our bodies charged from endless tease". Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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I like the way you handle this subject with such delicacy. Your imagery and rhyme scheme create a very sensuous, sensory picture. I particulate like. "Our bodies charged from endless tease". Very nicely done.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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thank you
