What's Ordinary?
philosophy for children148 total reviews
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Adewpearl you've done it again as you have done it before, gotten me in to the swing of things on such a low level only to see that the depth is really deep. What's ordinary about anything? Especially the living, breathing, extraordinary things?
I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors. A fun poem to read. Giovanni
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Adewpearl you've done it again as you have done it before, gotten me in to the swing of things on such a low level only to see that the depth is really deep. What's ordinary about anything? Especially the living, breathing, extraordinary things?
I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors. A fun poem to read. Giovanni
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Giovanni, thank you so much for your encouraging comments and your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from marijmd
My sister in Law was over - she writes poetry too. I showed her some of your work - she thought it was magical.
I love the sing song nature of this one - I can almost hear the melody while I read!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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My sister in Law was over - she writes poetry too. I showed her some of your work - she thought it was magical.
I love the sing song nature of this one - I can almost hear the melody while I read!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Mary, thank you so much :-) I'm thrilled you shared this with a fellow poet :-) Brooke
Comment from mypoems11
Very nicely done! A beautiful observation of the extraordinary world we live in! There is nothing ordinary in such happy family moments!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Very nicely done! A beautiful observation of the extraordinary world we live in! There is nothing ordinary in such happy family moments!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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mypoems, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Kaila Mari
Poem type: a children's commentary and philosophy poem
Does this poem flow: very nicely
Do the lines seem forced: not at all
Did the structure make sense: perfect sense
Did it draw on my emotions: very much so as it drew me as a reader to stop, look around and enjoy nature in its infinite splendor.
Did it present strong images: extraordinary images
Suggestions for improvement: none
Would I recommend this to someone else: Most certainly
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Poem type: a children's commentary and philosophy poem
Does this poem flow: very nicely
Do the lines seem forced: not at all
Did the structure make sense: perfect sense
Did it draw on my emotions: very much so as it drew me as a reader to stop, look around and enjoy nature in its infinite splendor.
Did it present strong images: extraordinary images
Suggestions for improvement: none
Would I recommend this to someone else: Most certainly
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Kaila Mari, thank you so much for your thoughtful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from nancyjam
The world is filled with EXTRAordinary things and children
seem to see them better that adults.
I love your rhymed quatrains and the lovely images you
use to convey your message.
Love his face in this picture! Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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The world is filled with EXTRAordinary things and children
seem to see them better that adults.
I love your rhymed quatrains and the lovely images you
use to convey your message.
Love his face in this picture! Nancy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Nancy, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from DSMalott
Well done!
For me personally I would have liked two or three more stanzas to develop my imagination more and savor your developing point. I was just beginning to form great mental images when the punch line brought my thoughts to a close and spoiled the enjoyable process.
Loved several of you great word images; these made me smile:
1...in the moon,
who makes waves dance without a tune?
2...my world,
where on the grass the dew is pearled
3...and dawn makes petals come unfurled --
Again,
Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Well done!
For me personally I would have liked two or three more stanzas to develop my imagination more and savor your developing point. I was just beginning to form great mental images when the punch line brought my thoughts to a close and spoiled the enjoyable process.
Loved several of you great word images; these made me smile:
1...in the moon,
who makes waves dance without a tune?
2...my world,
where on the grass the dew is pearled
3...and dawn makes petals come unfurled --
Again,
Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
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Thank you for your feedback, Doug. I guess if something has to be wrong, I'm glad you marked me down for what I did not write as opposed to what I did. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from RGstar
It is as you make it, and if such joy can be found through an 'ordinary' journey to the mall, then it reflects how moments, however short and however small,portrays the togetherness that many can only wish for.
I like the thought behind this write, had it been shorter I have no doubt this would make a great singalong or chanted verse for children, so good is it write.
Good write.
RGstar
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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It is as you make it, and if such joy can be found through an 'ordinary' journey to the mall, then it reflects how moments, however short and however small,portrays the togetherness that many can only wish for.
I like the thought behind this write, had it been shorter I have no doubt this would make a great singalong or chanted verse for children, so good is it write.
Good write.
RGstar
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2014
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RG, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Delahay
At first I thought this would be better as "What is extraordinary" but you have it right how you wrote it. It is definitely better to put it as "Why should I consider this to be ordinary when it clearly isn't?" rather than "I am telling you why this is extraordinary." At least in my opinion.
Mary
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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At first I thought this would be better as "What is extraordinary" but you have it right how you wrote it. It is definitely better to put it as "Why should I consider this to be ordinary when it clearly isn't?" rather than "I am telling you why this is extraordinary." At least in my opinion.
Mary
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Mary, thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback :-) Brooke
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Brooke,
Nice point to make in your poem, even the 'ordinary' is so extraordinary and yet, we hardly give it a second thought.
Well done.
Patrick
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Hi Brooke,
Nice point to make in your poem, even the 'ordinary' is so extraordinary and yet, we hardly give it a second thought.
Well done.
Patrick
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Patrick, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Victoria K
Such a sweet, inspiring poem. It's always good to appreciate the little things, and in doing so, we often realize they are not so "little" after all.
Choosing to have the same first and last line in each quatrain really emphasizes the message, and makes it all the more effective.
Very nicely done.
Victoria
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Such a sweet, inspiring poem. It's always good to appreciate the little things, and in doing so, we often realize they are not so "little" after all.
Choosing to have the same first and last line in each quatrain really emphasizes the message, and makes it all the more effective.
Very nicely done.
Victoria
Comment Written 05-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Victoria :-) Brooke
