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Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Reflection on life"
A book of Poetry & Writing

121 total reviews 
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

THIS IS A NICE POEM ABOUT LIFE. QUITE PHILOSOPHICAL.I WONDER IF THERE IS REALLY AN ANSWER TO THE SECOND LINE? CAN WE REALLY SURVIVE LIFE?I REMEMBER SEEING A SAYING SEVERAL YEARS AG WHICH SAID:'DON'T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY,YOU NEVER GET OUT OF IT ALIVE...GREAT JOB!

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you again for this
Comment from Max Edon
Excellent
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You had a lot of nice rhymes in this poem. I like this poem so much that I keep re-reading this. I loved the message of this poem

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you Max
reply by Max Edon on 04-Aug-2014
    You are welcome
Comment from LateBloomer
Excellent
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Hello deepwater, A reflective poem of when the trust, and ultimately, the love between two is compromised, and thus, broken. Of note:

Discarded vows, for greener promised lands,
Distrust and heartache, are things we live through,
What of the mind games, the trials, the truths?
Values of honor, scarred deep on my heart,

(And the greener lands, are not always green)

And so ...
What is to happen next
is any man's guess
but after any collapse
mending and rebuilding
do follow, and I hope so.

A poem of when a man and woman lose sight of each other.

Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer



 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you for this Late
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
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I enjoy poetry when written from the heart. This poem is felt as though it has life. Perhaps a good entry for a contest? Well done poet.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you
Comment from victor 66
Excellent
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To surmise is easy, it's much like, "Advice is the easiest thing to give and the hardest thing to take". I'm pretty sure I'm the one that has said this, as far as I know. Moving along. After my wife divorced me 13 years ago, it took a little while to figure out, "that there is the life we think we should have, and then there's the one we actually do have. Maybe the one we do have isn't all that bad". Best wishes.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you victor
reply by victor 66 on 04-Aug-2014
    You are most welcome, deepwater.
Comment from acerisestory
Excellent
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Your poem, gw, tells a story about a broken relationship and tells it with heart. You've made nice use of imagery. I particularly like the line:

Discarded vows for greener promised lands

I believe that your use of commas in certain places should be corrected. It's not necessary to use a comma in the first, second, fifth and eighth lines. Those commas break the flow of your thoughts. I don't quite understand the use of 'played' in the eighth line; maybe 'tore' instead? I believe, also, that 'a-part' is one word: 'apart.'

Thanks for sharing. Take care. Alana


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you Alana
Comment from Pili Pubul
Excellent
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A very well expressed poem about the many polarities
of life and love. Excellent style , sadly realistic.
Not sure is an answer to your question unfortunately. Pili

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thanks Pili no answer
reply by Pili Pubul on 04-Aug-2014
    I am afraid no... You are so welcome. Pili
Comment from Sydney_rose
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The contradiction on life is beautifully described in this poem, very lovely. What you think is the most precious thing on life, it could have a dark side or it's not what it seems. Love it!

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    again thank
Comment from boxergirl
Excellent
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Good job with your poem reflecting on life and a love that ran into problems and how we learn from our mistakes if we just let ourselves. Couplet rhyming makes it flow smoothly from start to finish.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thank you boxer
Comment from BLACKDYKE
Excellent
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Nobody can gw, and as you cleverly write
it is something most folks go through.
Reflect I mean. The older we grow the more we reflect on the past, forever wondering if we got it right. A great
write for me, and the eternal question
yet to be answered. Eric

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014
    thanks Eric
reply by BLACKDYKE on 04-Aug-2014
    My pleasure