I Love My Mom
rhyming quatrains151 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Fun to read quatrains.... is the ice-cream sandwich from
Walmart? I just had to ask. I hear they don't melt.
Someday he will love cheese all over his cauliflower, and will be glad the tuna is in his tummy and not the ocean.
Nicely done. :-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Fun to read quatrains.... is the ice-cream sandwich from
Walmart? I just had to ask. I hear they don't melt.
Someday he will love cheese all over his cauliflower, and will be glad the tuna is in his tummy and not the ocean.
Nicely done. :-) Carolyn
Comment Written 03-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much, Carolyn. No, my daughter refuses to shop at Walmart, so I can guarantee it's not from there. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from Cajungirl
Hello, Brooke, I actually read your poem yesterday, but waited until today to review. You see, I just had to give this spectacular poem a six-star rating. I laughed so very hard. Yes indeed, he sure loves his Mother. LOL
Bless you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Hello, Brooke, I actually read your poem yesterday, but waited until today to review. You see, I just had to give this spectacular poem a six-star rating. I laughed so very hard. Yes indeed, he sure loves his Mother. LOL
Bless you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Cajungirl, thank you so much for your thoughtful gesture of holding off reviewing until you could reward a sixth star. I truly appreciate it :-) Brooke
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You are welcome.
Comment from Kaila Mari
Another perfectly structured poem with rhyming quatrains in 8/6/8/6. The tone in the words delivered expresses clearly the feelings of a child. This slightly serious, yet humorous light poem has undertones of tenderness and love not only from the child to the mother, but also from the author to the child. Great job!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Another perfectly structured poem with rhyming quatrains in 8/6/8/6. The tone in the words delivered expresses clearly the feelings of a child. This slightly serious, yet humorous light poem has undertones of tenderness and love not only from the child to the mother, but also from the author to the child. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much, Kaila :-) Brooke
Comment from LoannaLois
This is such a perfect example of 8-6-8-6...I love the way you interject wonderful bits of humor into the tenderness of your sentences.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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This is such a perfect example of 8-6-8-6...I love the way you interject wonderful bits of humor into the tenderness of your sentences.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Lois, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
Perfectly flowing stanzas resulting from the rhyming quatrains which allows this poem to transition seamlessly between lines. This piece is very relatable for the reader harkening back to a time in childhood when they were forced to eat something they found to be unpleasant simply because it was "good for them". I love the upbeat ending where the child overlooks having to eat these unpleasant foods because they have ice cream to look forward to at the meal's end. Love the way the poet gets inside the child's mind delivering a poem that appears to be written from the point of view of the child. The accompanying photo couldn't be more perfectly suited to enhance the final stanza of this piece. Excellent alliteration in my/mom, she/serves, my/mouth, and stomach/scream. A sing songy, positive piece of poetry that was a joy to review!
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Perfectly flowing stanzas resulting from the rhyming quatrains which allows this poem to transition seamlessly between lines. This piece is very relatable for the reader harkening back to a time in childhood when they were forced to eat something they found to be unpleasant simply because it was "good for them". I love the upbeat ending where the child overlooks having to eat these unpleasant foods because they have ice cream to look forward to at the meal's end. Love the way the poet gets inside the child's mind delivering a poem that appears to be written from the point of view of the child. The accompanying photo couldn't be more perfectly suited to enhance the final stanza of this piece. Excellent alliteration in my/mom, she/serves, my/mouth, and stomach/scream. A sing songy, positive piece of poetry that was a joy to review!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
Comment from skye
Whimsical and true.... cauliflower, liverworst, ugh!
Ice cream.... yes!
What a fun poem, nicely rhymed, with the voice of a child.
Love the picture!
Excellent.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Whimsical and true.... cauliflower, liverworst, ugh!
Ice cream.... yes!
What a fun poem, nicely rhymed, with the voice of a child.
Love the picture!
Excellent.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Skye, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from l.raven
Hi Brooke, this is so cute...he sounds like what most kids don't want to eat...LOL...so love your poem....and Sawyer looks very happy...LOL...truly finger licking good...love it...and his sandwich too!!! the ice cream one that is....LOL...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Hi Brooke, this is so cute...he sounds like what most kids don't want to eat...LOL...so love your poem....and Sawyer looks very happy...LOL...truly finger licking good...love it...and his sandwich too!!! the ice cream one that is....LOL...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Linda, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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sooooooooooo welcome ...Luff xxoo
Comment from DR DIP
another one for adewpearlers for kids book just one suggestion:
I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower.
with your verses you establish the beat because thats what ABCB rhyme does..it sets the beat and the canter so when this is the case sometimes its fine when you read it back to oneself as it happens to me all the time it reads perfect beat in my mind but to others who just read the poets written word in front of them they don't establish the beat straight away. Your second verse is a case in point and i have read it several times biut i have arrived at the fact it would read perfect with a two syllable word to describe the cheese instead of just "some " cheese I suggest you write , say "cheddar cheese"
I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower.
suggest:
I normally don't mind cheddar cheese
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over my cauliflower.
da da da da da da da di
Extending the beat by changing to a two syllable word as 'cheddar' instead of 'some" works better I feel
Hey just my opinion for that is how I read it in my eyes at least
still an adewpearler however you see it! lol
xxdip
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another one for adewpearlers for kids book just one suggestion:
I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower.
with your verses you establish the beat because thats what ABCB rhyme does..it sets the beat and the canter so when this is the case sometimes its fine when you read it back to oneself as it happens to me all the time it reads perfect beat in my mind but to others who just read the poets written word in front of them they don't establish the beat straight away. Your second verse is a case in point and i have read it several times biut i have arrived at the fact it would read perfect with a two syllable word to describe the cheese instead of just "some " cheese I suggest you write , say "cheddar cheese"
I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower.
suggest:
I normally don't mind cheddar cheese
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over my cauliflower.
da da da da da da da di
Extending the beat by changing to a two syllable word as 'cheddar' instead of 'some" works better I feel
Hey just my opinion for that is how I read it in my eyes at least
still an adewpearler however you see it! lol
xxdip
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
Comment from DanielEkine
Nice contribution from the unique author, Adewpearl. The author puts it in the best way possible. I love my mom, but she doesn't get me all the time.
I really like this verse from the author, "I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower."
The artwork couldn't be any more clearer.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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Nice contribution from the unique author, Adewpearl. The author puts it in the best way possible. I love my mom, but she doesn't get me all the time.
I really like this verse from the author, "I normally don't mind some cheese --
I wouldn't even cower,
but she insists on pouring it
all over cauliflower."
The artwork couldn't be any more clearer.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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Daniel, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from lappmellott
Once again, wonderful job on the poem and also on the photograph of Sawyer. His parents must be so proud of that little boy. Keep writing these delightful poems.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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Once again, wonderful job on the poem and also on the photograph of Sawyer. His parents must be so proud of that little boy. Keep writing these delightful poems.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2014
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lappmellott, thank you so much :-) His parents both burst with pride :-) Brooke
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You're welcome.
