Jack and Jill
Nursery rhyme with an adult twist58 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Here are Jack & Jill again, up to their old antics. First, Jack was crawling out of wells as one of the undead, and now the two of them are burning a big ole fat doobie. What had gotten into those kids?
Well, at least Jack helped the addict out who held he and Jill both at gunpoint. After all, what choices di he really have?
A modern twist on a children's favorite classic.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Here are Jack & Jill again, up to their old antics. First, Jack was crawling out of wells as one of the undead, and now the two of them are burning a big ole fat doobie. What had gotten into those kids?
Well, at least Jack helped the addict out who held he and Jill both at gunpoint. After all, what choices di he really have?
A modern twist on a children's favorite classic.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Kids now days. LOL Thank you Dean. Always a pleasure reading you, stories, poems, or reviews.
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Ha ha, it was my pleasure, amahra.
Comment from kiwijenny
What Jack and Jill do for a thrill...yikes ........
But how do we teach youngsters to not do this........
Well done.......
God bless...............................................
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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What Jack and Jill do for a thrill...yikes ........
But how do we teach youngsters to not do this........
Well done.......
God bless...............................................
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you. I lecture mind until they were blue in the face. And they got older and started acting stupid my lectures came back to them. At least that's what they told me. All we can do is tell them right from wrong and hope they bring the words back up as they will need them later on in life. Didn't mean to write a book. LOL
Comment from Pyrrho
Perhaps he didn't mean them no harm => Perhaps he meant them no harm.
Other than that, excellent folderol though (and i did not go back to check) i did stumble with the meter is one or more of the earlier verses. Probbly me, not your meter.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Perhaps he didn't mean them no harm => Perhaps he meant them no harm.
Other than that, excellent folderol though (and i did not go back to check) i did stumble with the meter is one or more of the earlier verses. Probbly me, not your meter.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thanks Pyrrho, I'll go back over it.
Comment from JM
Yours is the second adult version of a childhood tale I have reatd today. Your Jack and Jill remind me of Bonnie and Clyde. They are the perfect partners in crime. Great read.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Yours is the second adult version of a childhood tale I have reatd today. Your Jack and Jill remind me of Bonnie and Clyde. They are the perfect partners in crime. Great read.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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LOL I was thinking the same thing after I wrote it. Yep! Bonnie and Clyde. Thank you JM.
Comment from Trybuck
I never dreamed I see
Old Jack being stoned
Out of his mind on drugs
Makes me want to shrug
And that silly Jill
Following along
As dopey as her pal
Makes one wonder
Where's Snow White
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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I never dreamed I see
Old Jack being stoned
Out of his mind on drugs
Makes me want to shrug
And that silly Jill
Following along
As dopey as her pal
Makes one wonder
Where's Snow White
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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She's next. No, I'm kidding. I would never do that to snow white. Thank you Buck.
Comment from marijmd
Well so much for some weed mellowing them out LOL - Don't do drugs kids - fetch water instead of weed! Fun little ditty I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Well so much for some weed mellowing them out LOL - Don't do drugs kids - fetch water instead of weed! Fun little ditty I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you marijmd. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from amada
Nice new version adapting it to these scary times. A little dark for me but the background of the present is ever present, everywhere. Creative.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Nice new version adapting it to these scary times. A little dark for me but the background of the present is ever present, everywhere. Creative.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you amada.
Comment from hifein
it was a fun ride through childhood characters transported into a twenty first century environment. mostly it rhymes well, but most of all it was enjoyable to read -- i smiled all the way.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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it was a fun ride through childhood characters transported into a twenty first century environment. mostly it rhymes well, but most of all it was enjoyable to read -- i smiled all the way.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you hifein. I'm glad you had fun reading it.
Comment from gypsycaravan
It read fine and lyrical and was a great twist on the old fairy tale. Not sure one junkie would give up his stash no matter the gun. Ha. Love the last stanza. Very clever poem. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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It read fine and lyrical and was a great twist on the old fairy tale. Not sure one junkie would give up his stash no matter the gun. Ha. Love the last stanza. Very clever poem. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you gypsy. You know, I live in a world of fantasy, trying to escape some of the reality out there. LOL...no I guess one junkie wouldn't give another his stuff. But I had to give it a clean ending. But even though I stuck Jack and Jill in today's world, I wanted to be true to Mother Goose' "and they lived happily ever after"...LOL
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Great reply-ha
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It is a fun read and you have made a statement about today's society that is very scary to us older people. I sure hope the younger people have their heads on straighter than that, but I fear they don't.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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It is a fun read and you have made a statement about today's society that is very scary to us older people. I sure hope the younger people have their heads on straighter than that, but I fear they don't.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you Barbara. You're absolutely right. I'm glad you found it a fun read.
