Too Ordinary
an afternoon passes97 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
This is a rather odd piece of poetry, as the meaning of it just leaves me wondering. It is well written in a good format and it's written poetically. Even if I haven't a clue as to what it means, it is still written in a very good poetic vibration... John
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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This is a rather odd piece of poetry, as the meaning of it just leaves me wondering. It is well written in a good format and it's written poetically. Even if I haven't a clue as to what it means, it is still written in a very good poetic vibration... John
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you, John.
Comment from TamzinWhite
Yes, thank goodness you suggested I turn front cortex off. At first it annoyed me, I couldn't feel the rhythm, but it's definitely there. Your ability to paint a picture also and create feeling and mood. What a wonderful poem. Thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Yes, thank goodness you suggested I turn front cortex off. At first it annoyed me, I couldn't feel the rhythm, but it's definitely there. Your ability to paint a picture also and create feeling and mood. What a wonderful poem. Thank you.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Doug
A simple, ordinary day turned splendid as my body embraced these little tidbits of your day. Something different, and a relax for the frontal cortex indeed. I flowed and floated with the whimsy of your words.
On my first read, I did 'stumble' with the t-shirt verse, it seemed a little out of place. I mellowed a little as I felt compelled to read your poem several times. I interpret your poem as stages of an afternoon walk ... to put on a t-shirt ... then perhaps it was a t-shirt in a flea market/shop-stall which was like one you once owned and favoured?
I loved the flow of your opening verse and the perfect closure. Also of special interest and pleasure -
"silent dusk
thunderstorm's
peaceful violence"
"I seek the fall,
the turn,
the stirring
of tea leaves"
A wonderful way to spend an afternoon where nothing is significant, yet everything is. I love this kind of free verse, and absolute pleasure to read and infuse my soul with good humour. Warm regards - Lovinia xoxo.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Hi Doug
A simple, ordinary day turned splendid as my body embraced these little tidbits of your day. Something different, and a relax for the frontal cortex indeed. I flowed and floated with the whimsy of your words.
On my first read, I did 'stumble' with the t-shirt verse, it seemed a little out of place. I mellowed a little as I felt compelled to read your poem several times. I interpret your poem as stages of an afternoon walk ... to put on a t-shirt ... then perhaps it was a t-shirt in a flea market/shop-stall which was like one you once owned and favoured?
I loved the flow of your opening verse and the perfect closure. Also of special interest and pleasure -
"silent dusk
thunderstorm's
peaceful violence"
"I seek the fall,
the turn,
the stirring
of tea leaves"
A wonderful way to spend an afternoon where nothing is significant, yet everything is. I love this kind of free verse, and absolute pleasure to read and infuse my soul with good humour. Warm regards - Lovinia xoxo.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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So nice of you to tune in. Thank you.
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Amazing how the ordinary can become so extraordinary .... in the hands of a talented poet. :) I really enjoyed your poem..... one that lingers. :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem seems like a pleasant moment in a day where one takes in all the nature and some of the atmospheric elements that may normally speed by unnoticed.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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This poem seems like a pleasant moment in a day where one takes in all the nature and some of the atmospheric elements that may normally speed by unnoticed.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you, Bill.
Comment from hari anand
Beautiful poem where poet talks to the surrounding around him, feeling it , living it. I love the form , words flow freely with ease carefree making poet dance/unwind.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Beautiful poem where poet talks to the surrounding around him, feeling it , living it. I love the form , words flow freely with ease carefree making poet dance/unwind.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you.
Comment from amahra
I don't think I have a muse or know what one is. But I loved that your muse made you write this awesome poem that is full of well chosen words and very thought provoking. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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I don't think I have a muse or know what one is. But I loved that your muse made you write this awesome poem that is full of well chosen words and very thought provoking. Great job.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much.
Comment from scd41
Though the title hints at something ordinary, your poem is almost exraordinary. A poet's imagination is akin to some form of dancing and your format sets the dancing in quick steps. Tallking of T-shirt in the midst of the smooth sailing poem did give a jerk just as 'silent dusk thunderstorm's peaceful violence' was your unique way of narrating the surroundings. I enjoyed reading the poem.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Though the title hints at something ordinary, your poem is almost exraordinary. A poet's imagination is akin to some form of dancing and your format sets the dancing in quick steps. Tallking of T-shirt in the midst of the smooth sailing poem did give a jerk just as 'silent dusk thunderstorm's peaceful violence' was your unique way of narrating the surroundings. I enjoyed reading the poem.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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I thank you.
Comment from Sanku
'Thunder storm's peaceful violence-i liked this idea very much'I followed your suggestion and shut the frontal cortex and simply flowed with the lines.Too ordinary an afternoon passes, but the the mind if willing can make it extra ordinary.tree house..like poetry imprisoned -another brilliant line.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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'Thunder storm's peaceful violence-i liked this idea very much'I followed your suggestion and shut the frontal cortex and simply flowed with the lines.Too ordinary an afternoon passes, but the the mind if willing can make it extra ordinary.tree house..like poetry imprisoned -another brilliant line.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you, my dear.
Comment from emrpoems
I tried taking your advice and enjoyed your poem. When I was in my twenties I slept with music on and when I heard a familiar piece that I loved I would get up and dance to it so I understand what you say. an enjoyable read
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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I tried taking your advice and enjoyed your poem. When I was in my twenties I slept with music on and when I heard a familiar piece that I loved I would get up and dance to it so I understand what you say. an enjoyable read
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2014
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Thank you.
Comment from rrabinow
I enjoyed reading your poem. I like the format of your poem. Your poem has a great flow from line to line, as well as from word to word. I like the picture you used as well. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I like the format of your poem. Your poem has a great flow from line to line, as well as from word to word. I like the picture you used as well. Great job.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2014
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Thank you.
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You are welcome.
