Too Ordinary
an afternoon passes97 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Ever since my pre-frontal lobotomy , all poetry read or prose written, all life -- all have to be enjoyed by the body. To tap to the dance is best. My tutu is too tight to twirl. Why am I talking like this? It's not even midnight.
Sorry, victor, but your poem did something to me.
You're too young for the 'Beat Generation', but I was part of it, at least the passive part, watching Ferlinghetti recite his verse, snapping fingers instead of clapping.
I'm saying,though, there is the same quality of freedom in your verse -- and sometimes it means freedom from the frontal cortex. I enjoyed the dance.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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Ever since my pre-frontal lobotomy , all poetry read or prose written, all life -- all have to be enjoyed by the body. To tap to the dance is best. My tutu is too tight to twirl. Why am I talking like this? It's not even midnight.
Sorry, victor, but your poem did something to me.
You're too young for the 'Beat Generation', but I was part of it, at least the passive part, watching Ferlinghetti recite his verse, snapping fingers instead of clapping.
I'm saying,though, there is the same quality of freedom in your verse -- and sometimes it means freedom from the frontal cortex. I enjoyed the dance.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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Put your tutu in the dryer, didn't you? Tsk tsk.
Comment from Set in Stone
I truly did enjoy this poem. It's smooth, like satin, and your eyes slide down over the words as a series of images and feelings invade your senses. There's no effort in the reading; it seems to have a natural flow. I especially like the second last stanza with the mention of fall and the transition to the stirring of tea leaves. I hope to read more of your work.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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I truly did enjoy this poem. It's smooth, like satin, and your eyes slide down over the words as a series of images and feelings invade your senses. There's no effort in the reading; it seems to have a natural flow. I especially like the second last stanza with the mention of fall and the transition to the stirring of tea leaves. I hope to read more of your work.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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And I hope to read more of your reviews. Thank you.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This somehow reminds me of Robert Frost's, "I have been one acquainted with the night," but with a less lonely feel - it is more about aloneness than loneliness: "a sense of time and the will to wrestle it" - and the positive tone culminates with these great lines, "a stumble with confidence becomes a dance and I, the need to tap it." I also love the "thunderstorm's peaceful violence." Your muse did you a good turn with this one. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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This somehow reminds me of Robert Frost's, "I have been one acquainted with the night," but with a less lonely feel - it is more about aloneness than loneliness: "a sense of time and the will to wrestle it" - and the positive tone culminates with these great lines, "a stumble with confidence becomes a dance and I, the need to tap it." I also love the "thunderstorm's peaceful violence." Your muse did you a good turn with this one. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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Ah, Jeanie, I do love you, my dear.
Comment from royowen
A classical poet's muse, a stream of conscienceless, life is a little like that, a feeling that life is a stumbling walk of chance, and I guess without a light to guide your footsteps! that's the way it is, musing on things that you like is enjoyable! I love and enjoyed this well written, articulate poem, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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A classical poet's muse, a stream of conscienceless, life is a little like that, a feeling that life is a stumbling walk of chance, and I guess without a light to guide your footsteps! that's the way it is, musing on things that you like is enjoyable! I love and enjoyed this well written, articulate poem, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Roy.
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Most welcome
Comment from Chocolate Chip
Beautifully written. While reading this piece, a sense of calmness washed over me. The wording used as well as images it conjures up, makes it a pleasant read. Congrats on writing a poem that makes you think of better times, hopefully followed by the best of times! Keep 'em coming. ;) CC
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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2019
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Beautifully written. While reading this piece, a sense of calmness washed over me. The wording used as well as images it conjures up, makes it a pleasant read. Congrats on writing a poem that makes you think of better times, hopefully followed by the best of times! Keep 'em coming. ;) CC
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2019
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Thank you.
Comment from Glasstruth
This flows beautifully with random thoughts. Your will to wrestle it, it surely does. The line: "like poetry imprisoned by structure" is not this one. Love this stanza:
"silent dusk
thunderstorm's
peaceful violence"
Superb writing! Les
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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This flows beautifully with random thoughts. Your will to wrestle it, it surely does. The line: "like poetry imprisoned by structure" is not this one. Love this stanza:
"silent dusk
thunderstorm's
peaceful violence"
Superb writing! Les
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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Awe, Les. Thank you.
Comment from rjuselius
this is a beautiful sentiment! tumbling down from near heaven but not being vanquished to hell:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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this is a beautiful sentiment! tumbling down from near heaven but not being vanquished to hell:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2015
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Thank you.
