When Shadows Fall
A love poem38 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
I wish I had another six for you because this is lovely. I'm partial to rhyming poetry and this has wonderful rhyme and meter. The imagery is stunning. There is something about these old, abandoned houses that is just heartbreaking. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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I wish I had another six for you because this is lovely. I'm partial to rhyming poetry and this has wonderful rhyme and meter. The imagery is stunning. There is something about these old, abandoned houses that is just heartbreaking. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the comments and stars, Mary. Have a nice weekend. Nancy
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You are welcome.
Comment from country ranch writer
Rating of Chapter 5 - Some Thoughts On Love
Yes love arrow can be deceiving for Cupid is very crass all they guy wants is a piece of a... then goes his merry way leaving you in the lurch.
When you ask for forgiveness when you go to church for commuting a sin.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Yes love arrow can be deceiving for Cupid is very crass all they guy wants is a piece of a... then goes his merry way leaving you in the lurch.
When you ask for forgiveness when you go to church for commuting a sin.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the review and stars, Barb. xxx Nancy:)
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Sniles
Comment from Michele Harber
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
Oh my goodness. I'm taking a poetry class where my classmates, most of whom are non-rhyming poets, are panicking at being asked to write in iambic pentameter, and yet you've just done perfect alternating heptameter and pentameter. You never cease to amaze me!
You create such a mood of despair and loss -- loss of the war, of the woman he loved, even of the house itself ("the spiral staircase ... is partly missing, lying in a heap").
You use detail beautifully, truly evoking the era ("alabaster columns," "spiral staircase," "Grande piano," "Magnolias in her hair").
You also make excellent use of alliteration, as in "Some sagging splintered shutters show a state of disrepair," "boarded windows block the sun's bright glow," and "muted music."
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Oh my goodness. I'm taking a poetry class where my classmates, most of whom are non-rhyming poets, are panicking at being asked to write in iambic pentameter, and yet you've just done perfect alternating heptameter and pentameter. You never cease to amaze me!
You create such a mood of despair and loss -- loss of the war, of the woman he loved, even of the house itself ("the spiral staircase ... is partly missing, lying in a heap").
You use detail beautifully, truly evoking the era ("alabaster columns," "spiral staircase," "Grande piano," "Magnolias in her hair").
You also make excellent use of alliteration, as in "Some sagging splintered shutters show a state of disrepair," "boarded windows block the sun's bright glow," and "muted music."
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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What a wonderful review Michele! I wish you had been a judge for the contest because it didn't win, it didn't even show. I thought it was a great piece of work. That's why I seldom enter contests. It was mostly a popularity contest back then. Sour grapes? I don't think so. Other people had mentioned it as well. The same people won all the time. The piece probably has punctuation mistakes and maybe even spelling, but I think it was great! LOL
I think you are great too. Thank you for your praise. You saw what was there. Big Hug. Nancy
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Thank you, Nancy. I think you and your poem are great as well! I literally consider you one of the three best poets on the site and, in terms of rhyme and iambics, you definitely take first place in my book.
I've also seen the same names come up frequently but, as my name came up twice in a row last month, I guess I've lost any right to complain.
Don't ever stop believing you're a truly amazing poet!
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Thanks Michele. I really appreciate your support. It's okay to be popular and you deserve the wins, I'm sure. It just got out of hand back then. Hugs. Nancy:)
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Thank you, Nancy. You're one of the first people I ever "met" on this site, and I've valued your opinion, talent and friendship from day one.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
Hi Nancy,
Yes, indeed war changed most everything.
A most commanding entry to the ABAB poetry contest.
The rhyme is perfection and tells such a sad, though not uncommon, tale
****** virtual six
Blessings
Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Hi Nancy,
Yes, indeed war changed most everything.
A most commanding entry to the ABAB poetry contest.
The rhyme is perfection and tells such a sad, though not uncommon, tale
****** virtual six
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much for the virtual six and the kind words. Have a great day! Nancy:)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
I'm guessing that most soldier of the confederacy had no idea what they might be coming home to, and in most cases, I'm sure that things had changed considerably. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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I'm guessing that most soldier of the confederacy had no idea what they might be coming home to, and in most cases, I'm sure that things had changed considerably. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much for the review, Ric. Nancy:)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
This is both a nostalgic and eerie poem at the same time. Favorite line: Soft muted music resurrects the ghosts of yesterday,
The inclusion of magnolias and the phrase "southern grace that perished in the fray" seem to suggest the Civil War, perhaps. Nice share.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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This is both a nostalgic and eerie poem at the same time. Favorite line: Soft muted music resurrects the ghosts of yesterday,
The inclusion of magnolias and the phrase "southern grace that perished in the fray" seem to suggest the Civil War, perhaps. Nice share.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the review and stars, Crystie. Yes, it would be the Civil War. Have a nice day. Nancy:)
Comment from Wendy G
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
I love the ending, containing a beautiful and unexpected twist - as well as the description of the once beautiful and much-loved home. I hope they were able to renew their lives together. Lovely poem, vivid, and thoughtfully written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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I love the ending, containing a beautiful and unexpected twist - as well as the description of the once beautiful and much-loved home. I hope they were able to renew their lives together. Lovely poem, vivid, and thoughtfully written.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the thoughtful comments and six stars, Wendy. Have a wonderful day. Nancy:)
Comment from Carol Clark2
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
This is a great story, well told in poetry. I love the descriptions and the details: the alabaster columns claimed by vines, the grand piano keys, the magnolias in her hair, etc. Great rhyme and nice meter throughout. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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This is a great story, well told in poetry. I love the descriptions and the details: the alabaster columns claimed by vines, the grand piano keys, the magnolias in her hair, etc. Great rhyme and nice meter throughout. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the thoughtful review and stars, Carol. Nancy:)
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You're welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
This poem, Alabaster Columns, presented with six ABAB-rhymed quatrains, creates the sad scene of the lost glory of the palatial estates of the antebellum South. The nice ending shows that his personal life will include his dearest love who survives and waits for him.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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This poem, Alabaster Columns, presented with six ABAB-rhymed quatrains, creates the sad scene of the lost glory of the palatial estates of the antebellum South. The nice ending shows that his personal life will include his dearest love who survives and waits for him.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the wonderfulful review and stars,Bill. Nancy:)
Comment from June Sargent
Rating of Chapter 1 - Alabaster Columns
War always leaves its mark on survivors and things can never be the same again. These mansions that were once filled with life and laughter are left barren and in disrepair. Much like some of its former inhabitants who are now equally scarred.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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War always leaves its mark on survivors and things can never be the same again. These mansions that were once filled with life and laughter are left barren and in disrepair. Much like some of its former inhabitants who are now equally scarred.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the lovely review and stars, June. Nancy:)
