If Hippos Lived in Cities
rhyming quatrains in 7/6/7/6132 total reviews
Comment from seaglass
This is another lovely poem with your usual style of perfect rhyme and meter. I like the way your poems are structured to provide a vivid picture in each verse. I often feel I'm reading a children's book with pictures. I don't feel comfortable in cities. I may very well be a hippo.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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This is another lovely poem with your usual style of perfect rhyme and meter. I like the way your poems are structured to provide a vivid picture in each verse. I often feel I'm reading a children's book with pictures. I don't feel comfortable in cities. I may very well be a hippo.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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seaglass, thank you so very much :-) I love NYC but could only live there if I had so much money that I could live in the plushest Central Park neighborhood and had plenty of cash for cabs and the theater and great restaurants, and since that's not about to happen, I'll be staying clear of cities too :-) Brooke
Comment from Sallyo
Love your rhyming here! "eaterie" and "love to be" for example are great rhymes, but not hackneyed or over-expected. I found this right through the poem. The content is fun, too; having that (again) unexpected quality. Kudos!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Love your rhyming here! "eaterie" and "love to be" for example are great rhymes, but not hackneyed or over-expected. I found this right through the poem. The content is fun, too; having that (again) unexpected quality. Kudos!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Sallyo :-) Brooke
Comment from donnadiann
Yes, but this is a children's poem, and the hippo can harm no one:). The lines that rhyme are good choices. Good enjambment in lines. The imagery, especially in first few lines, makes you want to read the next line. The examples used are common so the reader can enjoy the twist in these lines. I didn't understand the period instead of a question mark in the first stanza, last line. Very good poem:)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Yes, but this is a children's poem, and the hippo can harm no one:). The lines that rhyme are good choices. Good enjambment in lines. The imagery, especially in first few lines, makes you want to read the next line. The examples used are common so the reader can enjoy the twist in these lines. I didn't understand the period instead of a question mark in the first stanza, last line. Very good poem:)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, donnadiann. I wonder if they'd find...to me that reads like a declarative sentence. If I had said, Did they find...? or even I wonder, did they find... then I would have used a question mark :-) Brooke
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Thank you, Brooke, i'll go back and take this advice and see how it was, I saw another way:):)
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Thank you, Brooke, i'll go back and take this advice and see how it was, I saw another way:):)
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I can see now, how it could be a wondering, just like you're thinking to yourself:)
Comment from flylikeaneagle
26 July 2014
Adewpearl: Great poem, rhyming and thoughts about the hippos. Maybe, a sweet stuffed version for your precious grandson.
I think that you have an inner message too, of judging or loving, sharing a seat, having fun or being hated by your size. We are all creation no matter what. Let the children learn from the animals, so many stories are about animals and you write so well. Each one is a treasure to me!!!
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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26 July 2014
Adewpearl: Great poem, rhyming and thoughts about the hippos. Maybe, a sweet stuffed version for your precious grandson.
I think that you have an inner message too, of judging or loving, sharing a seat, having fun or being hated by your size. We are all creation no matter what. Let the children learn from the animals, so many stories are about animals and you write so well. Each one is a treasure to me!!!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Thank you so very much, flylikeanangel, for your thoughtful and insightful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from ArtGal
Oh Brooke, I have to be honest and tell you that I really don't like hippos at all, lol. Please tell them to stay out of our cities, and especially the burbs! When I lived in Calif., and spent hours at Disneyland, there were rides by boat where hippos would jump out of the water and scare one half to death! Needless to day, that's when I changed my thoughts about them. But I love your poem, lol, and found it quite amusing! . . .Sharon
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Oh Brooke, I have to be honest and tell you that I really don't like hippos at all, lol. Please tell them to stay out of our cities, and especially the burbs! When I lived in Calif., and spent hours at Disneyland, there were rides by boat where hippos would jump out of the water and scare one half to death! Needless to day, that's when I changed my thoughts about them. But I love your poem, lol, and found it quite amusing! . . .Sharon
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Sharon, thanks so much :-) I'm sorry the mean old hippos scared you at Disneyland LOL :-) Brooke
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LOLOL!!! I think you might be making fun of me because they were fake! But they looked and sounded real, and that was enough for me. I hope they all find out where you live and set up camp around there! Only because you care for them so much!!! Enjoy your new found friends...your friend (I think)...Sharon
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:-)
Comment from kiwisteveh
A hippo seems much wider
than normal folk like us.
I hope I never have to share
his seat upon the bus.
A hippo in the swimming pool
could gambol, play and spout,
but would there be much water left
When Hippo then got out.
At college there'd be hippos
so their exams they'd pass.
In their own hippocampus
they'd fill up every class.
The very smartest hippos
take math and science both,
then they train to be good doctors,
take the Hippocratic oath.
Now look what you've started!
Steve
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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A hippo seems much wider
than normal folk like us.
I hope I never have to share
his seat upon the bus.
A hippo in the swimming pool
could gambol, play and spout,
but would there be much water left
When Hippo then got out.
At college there'd be hippos
so their exams they'd pass.
In their own hippocampus
they'd fill up every class.
The very smartest hippos
take math and science both,
then they train to be good doctors,
take the Hippocratic oath.
Now look what you've started!
Steve
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Steve, thank you for your smile-inducing poetic response to my poem :-) I love the hippocampus and the Hippocratic oath :-) Brooke
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Ahem... Just feel I should remind you you may have to dine alone! LOL. This is such a gorgeous poem, Brooke. The visions you create in this are quite amusing, and delightful. Heck, sometimes you have to live a little dangerously! Giddy
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Ahem... Just feel I should remind you you may have to dine alone! LOL. This is such a gorgeous poem, Brooke. The visions you create in this are quite amusing, and delightful. Heck, sometimes you have to live a little dangerously! Giddy
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Thanks so very much, Giddy - you've left me with a smile :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
Yes, they kill more people in Africa than any other animal. Now that I have that out of the way, I just love hippos and hope they would be graciously accepted into society should they decide to venture out of the mud. I really got a kick out of this. You seemed to have a good time with it too.
Yes, I am still alive...but barely!!!
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Yes, they kill more people in Africa than any other animal. Now that I have that out of the way, I just love hippos and hope they would be graciously accepted into society should they decide to venture out of the mud. I really got a kick out of this. You seemed to have a good time with it too.
Yes, I am still alive...but barely!!!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Valerie, thank you so very much :-) I'm so glad you're still alive - just avoid hippos and you should be OK :-) Brooke
Comment from fastdigits
Ah, another trek down the road to
that land where anything is possible,
set to rhyme as it tells this children's
talre of if hippos lived in cities.
Well done
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Ah, another trek down the road to
that land where anything is possible,
set to rhyme as it tells this children's
talre of if hippos lived in cities.
Well done
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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fastdigits, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Bryana
Dear Brooke,
Where have you been? I've seen plenty of hippos
specially in the United States! LOL you know what
I mean. I love them all but not when they sit next
to me in the airplane.
Sorry but I saw humor in your poem. Have a nice
weekend. Hugs
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Dear Brooke,
Where have you been? I've seen plenty of hippos
specially in the United States! LOL you know what
I mean. I love them all but not when they sit next
to me in the airplane.
Sorry but I saw humor in your poem. Have a nice
weekend. Hugs
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014
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Bryana, thanks so much for your review :-) Brooke
