If Hippos Lived in Cities
rhyming quatrains in 7/6/7/6132 total reviews
Comment from Louise Michelle
LOL - I'm reading your notes. Yes, we must always cover our asses because we never know what comments our dear FS friends might send.
I'm not concerned about Hippos being dangerous so much as being too large for a spa. Not only would the other patrons find them disgusting, they'd be pissed off because there would then be a shortage of mud for their facials. A fun read, Brooke. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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LOL - I'm reading your notes. Yes, we must always cover our asses because we never know what comments our dear FS friends might send.
I'm not concerned about Hippos being dangerous so much as being too large for a spa. Not only would the other patrons find them disgusting, they'd be pissed off because there would then be a shortage of mud for their facials. A fun read, Brooke. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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I've written about hippos before, and each time several people share that danger warning with me. LOL Thanks so much, Lou :-) Brooke
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I am almost back from holidays! I am not home yet, but staying for a day or two at the mother-in-law's...
I can't imagine why any one would have to say anything about the real nature of hippos. This is a children's poem and fun and whimsical(have people no sense of humor or idea of children's poems...would they comment that Winnie the Pooh is a bear and will eat Christopjer...or that Teddies don't talk and pretending that they do is a lie?)...sorry...sometimes people drive me nuts...
anyway I liked the whimsy to this and the images ...perhaps, I am just immature(thank goodness:-)
padumachitta
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Hi. I am almost back from holidays! I am not home yet, but staying for a day or two at the mother-in-law's...
I can't imagine why any one would have to say anything about the real nature of hippos. This is a children's poem and fun and whimsical(have people no sense of humor or idea of children's poems...would they comment that Winnie the Pooh is a bear and will eat Christopjer...or that Teddies don't talk and pretending that they do is a lie?)...sorry...sometimes people drive me nuts...
anyway I liked the whimsy to this and the images ...perhaps, I am just immature(thank goodness:-)
padumachitta
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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padumachitta, thanks for stopping by while on holiday, and thank you for your review :-) Brooke
Comment from RodG
I really enjoyed this hippo poem, Brooke, especially your tongue-in-cheek sarcasm.
Some wonderful rhymes such as "eateries" and "maitre D's."
The imagery of a hippo in a restaurant and later a spa is superb.
A fun read!
Rod
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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I really enjoyed this hippo poem, Brooke, especially your tongue-in-cheek sarcasm.
Some wonderful rhymes such as "eateries" and "maitre D's."
The imagery of a hippo in a restaurant and later a spa is superb.
A fun read!
Rod
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from CR Delport
At our local zoo, they have a massive hippo pond with 4 hippos. I can sit and watch them for hours, but I also feel very sad to see them so caged in. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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At our local zoo, they have a massive hippo pond with 4 hippos. I can sit and watch them for hours, but I also feel very sad to see them so caged in. This is very well written.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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CR, thanks so much - yep, I can watch them forever too :-) They never seem upset to me in zoos the way tigers will, for instance, as they pace back and forth. I sure hope they're comfy and enjoying themselves. Brooke :-)
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
This is such a cute little poem. Yes, hippos are dangerous, but have you ever seen a baby hippo? They are the cutest! I'd share my table with em anytime!
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)/~KAUSAR~(^_^)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Hello there~!
This is such a cute little poem. Yes, hippos are dangerous, but have you ever seen a baby hippo? They are the cutest! I'd share my table with em anytime!
Great Job!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)/~KAUSAR~(^_^)
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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I am the world's biggest fan of cute baby animals :-) Thanks so much, Kausar :-) Brooke
Comment from jaded831
I love positive endings. Your poem made me laugh, I kept picturing a hippo trying to fit into a booth. Your poem is excellent for children of all ages, one
to ninety. Excellent rhyme to make for easy reading.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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I love positive endings. Your poem made me laugh, I kept picturing a hippo trying to fit into a booth. Your poem is excellent for children of all ages, one
to ninety. Excellent rhyme to make for easy reading.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Jaded, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from mfowler
Warning: Hippos are one of the most dangerous animals in the wild. Let's assume they are more genteel in the city. Your very funny poem had me smiling at each preposterous idea. I loved the mud-bath idea..really tickled my fancy. You really know how to use the question format to good effect in poetry. In one extended, enjambed section in vs 3 & 4, you posed a number of questions which reeled me in as I read. Very nice work; a great piece of nonsense.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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Warning: Hippos are one of the most dangerous animals in the wild. Let's assume they are more genteel in the city. Your very funny poem had me smiling at each preposterous idea. I loved the mud-bath idea..really tickled my fancy. You really know how to use the question format to good effect in poetry. In one extended, enjambed section in vs 3 & 4, you posed a number of questions which reeled me in as I read. Very nice work; a great piece of nonsense.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014
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mfowler, thank you so very much :-) I'm glad you liked the preposterous situations I set up :-) Brooke
Comment from Aussie
We have lots of Hippo's in Queensland - the fattest state in Oz! I loved your poem, it has the fun and joy of being and the rhythm of the drums of Africa. Wonderful nana.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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We have lots of Hippo's in Queensland - the fattest state in Oz! I loved your poem, it has the fun and joy of being and the rhythm of the drums of Africa. Wonderful nana.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Kay :-) I do appreciate your pretty six stars :-) Brooke
Comment from Pyrrho
Two suggestions and you know I dare such action with trepidation because you are such a talented perfectionist.
1) The mud/thud rhyme in verse 3 feels forced. Consider changing the last line to: Where they could laze in crud.
2) A more natural first word in you last verse is "and" and its use eliminates the close awkward repeat of 'For".
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Two suggestions and you know I dare such action with trepidation because you are such a talented perfectionist.
1) The mud/thud rhyme in verse 3 feels forced. Consider changing the last line to: Where they could laze in crud.
2) A more natural first word in you last verse is "and" and its use eliminates the close awkward repeat of 'For".
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Pyrrho, thank you for your feedback. I think perhaps it was in another life that I took a sacred vow never to use the word "crud" in a poem. LOL :-) Brooke
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I don't think there are many cuddly poems written about Hippos, Brooke, but I enjoyed this one. It is the type my 6 year old grandson, Eric would love. He would especially enjoy the mud baths! So, I am sure Sawyer will love it too. It gives a child lots to think about...mud baths, being just one thing! LOL. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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I don't think there are many cuddly poems written about Hippos, Brooke, but I enjoyed this one. It is the type my 6 year old grandson, Eric would love. He would especially enjoy the mud baths! So, I am sure Sawyer will love it too. It gives a child lots to think about...mud baths, being just one thing! LOL. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 27-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, Sandra :-) I'm thrilled to hear that you think this will pass the grandson test! Brooke
