Comment from Muffins

Excellent

The acknowledgment of Mrs. Clarke's talent is presented with long overdue respect and awe. The authors notes provide great educational information on this early pioneer. A woman who is rarely if ever spoken of. However, here she has been reborn to a new generation.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 05-Aug-2014

Thanks, Muffins, and this was intended to be a multi-authoed book, one any FanStroy member could contribute their own poem to showcasing a woman in history whom they admired. There are many Mrs. Clarks throughout history that historians have ignored. However, I now see why historians ignore these brave women, as no one else but me has seen fit to contribute to the book. People just don't find them that interesting.

Thanks again for your review.

Comment from faragon

Excellent

I like the style of this writing...somewhat poetic...somewhat narrative. It teaches a history lesson couched in wise advice to persue your dreams. How heroic this lady was and sadly overshadowed by Amelia. Good Job! Jane

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

Thanks, Jane, and that was my reasons ofr starting a multi-authored book in the first place, to allow FanStory members the opportunity to contribute poetic tributes of their own dedicated to brave women throughout history whom time has forgotten. Sadly, no one but me has been interested in adding any of their work. I suppose that is why such brave women are rarely mentioned. No one cares.

Thanks so much again.

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

This is an excellent piece, Dean. I always enjoy work that sheds light on historical figures that are not as famous but as notable and certainly worth remembering. I thought you did an excellent job constructing this piece, as always your work with aesthetics makes the piece almost as much as the words themselves. Great work overall and thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks, 'chup, and that's my reason for starting a multi-authored book so that other FanStory members could contribute poems of women innovators throughout history whom they admire. I can't believe that no one has contributed yet, but I suppose that's why we never hear of these brave women. No one is interested.

Thanks again.

Comment from rhymelord

Excellent

Dear Dean,
A fascinating and well spun yarn. I like the rhyme and metre of those stanzas in heavy type, but I am afraid that the metre in the 1st, 3rd and 5th stanzas is too variable to make easy reading. Otherwise, quite enjoyable.
Reg

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

How so, Meg, please enlighten me. I'm open for suggestions and not adverse to taking good advice. So, if you have anything to contribute to help this improve, by all means, let me know.

Thank you.

reply by rhymelord on 27-Jul-2014

Dear Dean,
Thanks for the opportunity to comment further. As I re-read the poem, I came to the conclusion that, although each line in question contained 17 syllables, the distribution of stress within lines varied considerably. I therefore abandoned any attempt to analyse each line and instead, I hope that the following re-write of the stanzas will illustrate a more easy cadence. These changes, I believe, retain the original meaning intended by you, but the words used are not cast in stone. They merely illustrate one way to regularise the cadence. I hope you find this advice useful.


Before Amelia, some won?t know, lived a daring aviator,
with flying skills she loved to show, soon men began to hate her.
Young Julia Clark, a London bird, would don mechanical wings;
a pretty, adventurous gal, just the third, to do those sorts of things.

 

Quite unprepared for the task at hand, our Julia struck a deal,
to fly in displays at the fair's grandstand to make the public squeal.
Her practice runs had been denied; her machine was deemed unfit,
so Julia, without any time to bide, was forced to wait a bit.

 

Finally Julia got her wish and was granted permission to fly,
she suited up, gave her scarf a swish, then headed off for the sky.
Soon after she'd taken off in flight, she knew that something wasn't right.
She struck a tree in broad daylight, her airplane toppling out of sight.

 


Regards
Reg

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Got 'cha, Reg, and thanks very much for the excellent feed back. I'll try to incorporate some of your suggestions as soon as possible. I do see the difference.

Thanks again! :]

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

Hello, Dean,

I remember this story well, and you've presented it
perfectly in your poem - such a brave woman - so
adventurous. And such a tragedy.

Margaret

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks very much for your exceptional rating and review, Margaret. My reasons for starting a multi-authored book was so that other FanStory members could contribute poems of women innovators throughout history whom they admire. I can't believe that no one has contributed yet, but I suppose that's why we never hear of these brave women. No one is interested. The book's entitled, Breaking the Bonds in case you yourself would like to contribute. With your talent, I'm quite sure you could think of someone and write something spectacular.

Give it a thought.

Thanks again, I sincerely appreciate it!.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

the sexism of the old days is really appalling. not that we have got ridden of sexism as so. but the first takes on men's hobbies or work, the woman is always fighting against the tides.
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Yep, that's pretty much the gist of it, rebekka x. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me about this.

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

25 July 2014
Dean: Great story of the history of a great lady who dared to try and got to fly. I like your plane photos and the history notes. Great poems. The plane seemed to be so light and not much safety for the pilot...what a time back then. She was so brave. Thanks for the moments.
flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014

Thanks very much, flylikeaneagle. I sincerely appreciate your complimentary review, my friend. If you would like to, please feel free to submit an entry about a female innovator from history like Julia Clark whom you feel has been overlooked. The book is a multi-authored one entitled,BREAKING THE BONDS, designed so any active FanStory member can contribute works of poetry to it. I'd really appreciate it if you would.

Thanks so much again!

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A good bit of poetic history in this story about Julia Clark, and I must admit this is the first time I've heard of her. Like the different rhyme with the middle rhyme in the light text and the end rhyme in the bold. Look forward to more history.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014

Thanks very much, Pearl, and you've touched on one of the very reasons I started this multi-authored book. I wanted to showcase talented and innovative women throughout history who, for whatever reasons, historians have chosen to ignore. If you'd like to, please feel free to submit a poem about a female innovator from history like Julia Clark whom you feel has been overlooked. The book is a multi-authored one, designed so any active FanStory member can contribute works of poetry to it. I'd really appreciate it if you would.

Thank again!

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

How interesting!! A lovely chapter to a looks like (Multi-Author Book). You did so well writing this poem, and I am sorry to hear that she died going for her dream. I think this is so awesome. Women were meant to be equal I believe.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014

Thanks, Drew, and If you know of any women innovators throughout history who blazed paths formerly not chosen by women, please feel free to submit a poem of your own for the book. I've been very surprised by the rather luke-warm response to this book. I can't believe that no one but me has added a chapter to it.

Thanks again!

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

If first you don't succeed, fly and fly again does not always work. But better to have dared then not to dare at all. Like the story, your structure, narrative stanzas followed by authorial comment. Just don't feel that this one is as tight as some of your others. Just a few corrections- fairs grandstand- fair's grandstand; she off headed to the sky- she headed off to the sky.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2014

---

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014

Thanks, ravenblack, and I will make those corrections right away. I appreciate your opinion and review of this very much. Thanks!

Changes/edits made, and thanks again.~Dean