Breezes, part1
Breath of God?88 total reviews
Comment from acerisestory
This is a beautifully written poem about the wind. It is a lovely description of the wind itself. After reading your notes, I can see how you've related it to the Holy Spirit.
The poem has a wonderful flow and rhythm, and your rhyming is well done.
Thank you for sharing! Alana
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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This is a beautifully written poem about the wind. It is a lovely description of the wind itself. After reading your notes, I can see how you've related it to the Holy Spirit.
The poem has a wonderful flow and rhythm, and your rhyming is well done.
Thank you for sharing! Alana
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you Alans, for the kind and generous review and comments, blessings,, Roy.
Comment from Dawn Munro
I loved this, my friend - truly loved it, and look forward to the next part. (Is the chorus written in part 2? Just a reminder that you'll want to repeat it so it's right there as we read.)
Nicely done - I'd love to hear it sung!!!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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I loved this, my friend - truly loved it, and look forward to the next part. (Is the chorus written in part 2? Just a reminder that you'll want to repeat it so it's right there as we read.)
Nicely done - I'd love to hear it sung!!!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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The chorus was the 3rd stanza clearly marked in brackets, Dawn, thank you for the wonderful review and comments, blessings, Roy.
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Oh, I now - I meant for part two, Roy. It was meant as a reminder, that's all - trying to be helpful.
Comment from Eric1
Hello Roy, these are great lyrics my friend, although they read like a poem, but then, that's how Roger Whittakers 'last farewell' started, as a poem, then was N01 all ver the wold, well done my friend.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Hello Roy, these are great lyrics my friend, although they read like a poem, but then, that's how Roger Whittakers 'last farewell' started, as a poem, then was N01 all ver the wold, well done my friend.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thanks Eric, perceptive observation my friend, I adjusted it a little without compromising the lyrics, thank you for the great review and comments, blessings, Roy.
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You are very welcome Roy.
Comment from c_lucas
A breeze is Nature kisses. Far better than a hurricane. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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A breeze is Nature kisses. Far better than a hurricane. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you Charlie for the great review and comments and review, blessings, Roy.
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You're welcome, Roy. Charlie
Comment from dennis0530
This poem deals with the "Divine wind."
The writer uses symbolisms and metaphors to represent the divine attributes of breeze. From the mundane "poles hang limp and low, clothes on lines fall lank and wet" to the spiritual "your warm embrace" and "show me your grace." The expression "gasping for breath" is like a plea to the divine for life-giving air."
Believers and non-believers alike feel this god-like nature of the breeze when they feel the revitalizing, almost life-giving qualities when it washes over the faces.
Here also, we see pictures of good and evil in the lines, "Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and break their bones."
I see a minor glitch:
third line, 4th stanza - 'crept, if you mean this as the short form of "except" then it should be 'CEPT.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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This poem deals with the "Divine wind."
The writer uses symbolisms and metaphors to represent the divine attributes of breeze. From the mundane "poles hang limp and low, clothes on lines fall lank and wet" to the spiritual "your warm embrace" and "show me your grace." The expression "gasping for breath" is like a plea to the divine for life-giving air."
Believers and non-believers alike feel this god-like nature of the breeze when they feel the revitalizing, almost life-giving qualities when it washes over the faces.
Here also, we see pictures of good and evil in the lines, "Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and break their bones."
I see a minor glitch:
third line, 4th stanza - 'crept, if you mean this as the short form of "except" then it should be 'CEPT.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you for this comprehensive review and great comments, Dennis, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Roy,
What a beautiful song. The artwork you chose gives the piece an airy feeling as if she could fly to the heavens and commune with God.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the song. Well done, my friend.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Hi Roy,
What a beautiful song. The artwork you chose gives the piece an airy feeling as if she could fly to the heavens and commune with God.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the song. Well done, my friend.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jackie
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you Jackie for your most welcome opinion, uplifting comments and review, blessings, Roy.
Comment from DR DIP
nice work Roy really got into it love to here it to music and the way you want it to sound just one little glitch:
Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and breaks their bones,
He's just like you 'crept mean and strong,
And then he leaves, won't right his wrong!
what I like most about this poem/song is that it has my name in the first verse!!
lol dip
I think you meant:
Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and breaks their bones,
He's just like you 'cept mean and strong,
And then he leaves, won't right his wrong!
except='cept not 'crept?
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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nice work Roy really got into it love to here it to music and the way you want it to sound just one little glitch:
Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and breaks their bones,
He's just like you 'crept mean and strong,
And then he leaves, won't right his wrong!
what I like most about this poem/song is that it has my name in the first verse!!
lol dip
I think you meant:
Oh breath of wind your cousin groans,
He bends the trees and breaks their bones,
He's just like you 'cept mean and strong,
And then he leaves, won't right his wrong!
except='cept not 'crept?
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thanks for that typo Dip, you noticed I wrote a poem with you in it! Thanks for the great review, I thought I'd pop you in it to honour your name! Blessings Roy.
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Roy, you area bloody legend!! lol
dip
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well done, Roy. Nicely written, with excellent rhyming, flow and meter, which isn't always necessary for song lyrics. This read more to me like a poem that a song, yet it is still very uplifting and spiritually blessed.
Great work~
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Well done, Roy. Nicely written, with excellent rhyming, flow and meter, which isn't always necessary for song lyrics. This read more to me like a poem that a song, yet it is still very uplifting and spiritually blessed.
Great work~
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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You're right I adjusted it, but only marginally, to Suit as a poem, you've got a good eye, clever man, did you see my other listed poem? " Cricket on the village green" thanks for the great review! Blessings Roy.
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Hah, I'm not all that clever, Roy, I just read a lot, is all. You're very welcome, and I will have a look at that, thanks!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a lovely song and I am really pleased you added those authors notes, it suddenly all makes sense. I enjoy the sounds of the wind, now I will take more notice of it. I look forward to the second part of this lovely song. xsx sandra
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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What a lovely song and I am really pleased you added those authors notes, it suddenly all makes sense. I enjoy the sounds of the wind, now I will take more notice of it. I look forward to the second part of this lovely song. xsx sandra
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you Sandra so much for your gracious and generous review, always appreciate your kind comments, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi royowen,
I liked the rhythm of this and even as a poem it reads well. I would have liked to have the 'chorus' identified, though I'm guessing it is the first verse.
The Holy Spirit is indeed the most elusive, yet ever present, member of the Trinity. The 'Vital Spark' who inspires, uplifts and gives us life.
Patrick
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Hi royowen,
I liked the rhythm of this and even as a poem it reads well. I would have liked to have the 'chorus' identified, though I'm guessing it is the first verse.
The Holy Spirit is indeed the most elusive, yet ever present, member of the Trinity. The 'Vital Spark' who inspires, uplifts and gives us life.
Patrick
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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The chorus is directly after the second stanza, in brackets clearly marked, thank you Patrick, for your patronage, and great review! Blessings, Roy.
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Aha, thanks, that clarifies it.
Patrick
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You're welcome
