Bel Air: A Bard's Guide
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Barry Runs, The Kids Turn to FIght"Sequel to The Bard of Bel Air.
9 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, you are tooooooooo funny....I love Bard... they should have let him go on talking...I was laughing my ass off...now lets see what happens with the kids...they can do it...smile you....Love it you...a great write....totally...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
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OMG Michael, you are tooooooooo funny....I love Bard... they should have let him go on talking...I was laughing my ass off...now lets see what happens with the kids...they can do it...smile you....Love it you...a great write....totally...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 13-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2014
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I love him too. I feel like taking him along with me everywhere! Well, I do! Hahaha. Glad you liked this. More to come. mikey
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LMAO you!!! like your shadow...I'm sure...that's my Bard...love ya....Linda
Comment from ravenblack
Elsa obviously never read Lord of the Flies. The difference here though, the kids have every good reason to go feral. Just hope Carlos does not have a weapon.
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Elsa obviously never read Lord of the Flies. The difference here though, the kids have every good reason to go feral. Just hope Carlos does not have a weapon.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Great leaps forward here. Perfect resolution on the roof. Over the top, but you never go too far over. The drama is maintained and so is the story.the humor fits because the character is outrageous and we know it!! NG
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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Great leaps forward here. Perfect resolution on the roof. Over the top, but you never go too far over. The drama is maintained and so is the story.the humor fits because the character is outrageous and we know it!! NG
Comment Written 13-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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That is so wonderful to hear. The best compliment I've received. mikey
Comment from seaglass
This is good, pulling together all the different threads. No typos or grammar errors. In response to question in author's notes... You should go as fast or slow as feels right to you.
Has the book reached you yet?
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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This is good, pulling together all the different threads. No typos or grammar errors. In response to question in author's notes... You should go as fast or slow as feels right to you.
Has the book reached you yet?
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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I guess what bothers me is that I can't seem to discipline myself to write any other way except off the top of my head. I know I'm supposed to write a draft and then edit and edit again. But, I never do. Hahaha. I do take advice when I get it and make changes sometimes, but generally everything is a first draft. I know that can't be right. mikey
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I figure that the rules were invented by mere people. So..I wonder, 'Who died and made them writing gods?" LOL
I took piano for 6 years, still enjoyed playing by ear the best. I took 12 hours of Art in College...Do I use rules when I paint...no!
Hemmingway was known for run-on sentences and Louisa May Alcott for crowded paragraphs and redundant descriptions. Steven King has developed his own style. Harry Potter books were first criticized as too long for children literature...author is banking her best guess.
I understand that grammar is necessary to get thoughts across so I do my best and take correction, and spelling is about written communication so I do my best to get it right...but those other things, like drafts, outlines...naw.
All I do is sit down for about 30 minutes and carve out the main 4-6 characters. I think through their personalities. Usually, there is someone in my aging pass the fits the persona enough to guide me to consistency about that person. Sometimes two people are blended into one. (Tom Sawyer was a composite of 3 boys but Huck Fin was taken from the personality of one homeless child)
I love Mark Train and Laura Ingalls Wilder. I try to follow whatever style that intrigues me about them. Both were descriptive about settings and people.
I scribble down 4 points, each containing one sentence. The Beginning sentence. i.e. "This may be the first autobiography written by a house"
2. What is the conflict? (House needs a family)
3. What is the action? (Family deals with the bad vibs of the house.)
4. What will be the resolution? (The house Whisperer will pull it together.)
From the very beginning, I accepted that those points could be changed or modified.
Then I write "by ear". I knew that just that alone wouldn't hold interest so I had to add Megan's death, Dennis (every book needs evil)
and figure out how to bring him down. All that was s work in progress.
All humans, in their lives, have people around that aren't terrible significant but intertwine in the outcomes of our lives.
So...Carman's vegetarian, pacifist, taxidermist boyfriend steps up for the task. This provided the stuffed animals the boys threw out of the tower to hold their own against Dennis.
I see you doing this as well. Too much restraint in the planning stage would hamper my creativity. Whatever story I'm writing is constantly cooking in my brain and anything may find its way in; a news story, behavior of a neighbor, interaction on the city bus, a memory, a dream...
One thing I learned from my publisher. Books should have chapters at least 2000 words.
Because of the short chapters in 'My Walls', it's considered a novella. That's not a bad thing...just something I didn't know.
Crescent's Edge will have longer chapters. They wont be divided the way I have to post them on FS.
I had a bit of a financial blessing come my way. I used it to self publish 'My Walls'. However, there are a couple of sites that one can do it for free. It's more work, but average computer skills can do it. I may use one of these next time.
I would encourage you to write a novella or a book of 4-5 short stories, or a book of poetry, like what you've posted, and publish. you learn a lot doing it and you will feel so much self accomplishment.
Comment from adewpearl
He had a collar on his back, and he was strapped - add the comma - or change it to - He had a collar on his back and was strapped
glared at the Bard, who blew kisses - add the comma
Excellent dialogue - I like Wayne Newton's response to the reporters' questions
I prefer little time between chapters of a novel - I don't like the chance to lose my memory of what's going on
Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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He had a collar on his back, and he was strapped - add the comma - or change it to - He had a collar on his back and was strapped
glared at the Bard, who blew kisses - add the comma
Excellent dialogue - I like Wayne Newton's response to the reporters' questions
I prefer little time between chapters of a novel - I don't like the chance to lose my memory of what's going on
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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Oh yeah. I just learned that. Thewriteteach had a piece on commas! Probably thinks I'm crazy giving such an excited review about an article on commas! I think you're correct. I thought I might edit more if I took more time, but I still spend the same amount of time. I just skip a day. So, I'll try to write one a day. Thank you, mikey
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. I am rooting for the kids. I think they can handle themselves. They are not letting fear control them any more. This was the only way the adults controlled them, fear. The posse may have to come and save the bad guys. Great work.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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I love the story. I am rooting for the kids. I think they can handle themselves. They are not letting fear control them any more. This was the only way the adults controlled them, fear. The posse may have to come and save the bad guys. Great work.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2014
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I feel like I'm back on track with this now. I had to get them off that roof. Hahaha. More to come. Thank you, mikey
Comment from Sankey
Yeah better on the slower poetry pace mate. Good work and talk about funny!! A bit more serious in places this time.
Now some spags.
They had to have (been)watching
one's with they're(their) lives on
I fixed up Chapter 27 of my Auto if ya wanna look again by the way.
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Yeah better on the slower poetry pace mate. Good work and talk about funny!! A bit more serious in places this time.
Now some spags.
They had to have (been)watching
one's with they're(their) lives on
I fixed up Chapter 27 of my Auto if ya wanna look again by the way.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I think it is better at the slower pace, you put more thought into it and it shows. The humour was great in this chapter. The Bard sure is a mouthpiece for your ideology or am I wrong? Well written and most enjoyable as always.
Faye
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I think it is better at the slower pace, you put more thought into it and it shows. The humour was great in this chapter. The Bard sure is a mouthpiece for your ideology or am I wrong? Well written and most enjoyable as always.
Faye
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Post fast or not at all is the rule for books. We can forget and/or lose interest in continuing stories that fail to continue at a good pace, sicne there is so much to read and recall here. Daily or at the very least every other day, minimum. That's just my own personal opinion, of course, but you asked. :)
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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Post fast or not at all is the rule for books. We can forget and/or lose interest in continuing stories that fail to continue at a good pace, sicne there is so much to read and recall here. Daily or at the very least every other day, minimum. That's just my own personal opinion, of course, but you asked. :)
Comment Written 12-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014
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I can do that. Did you notice any difference in the writing with me writing every couple days? I didn't. I actually spend the same amount of time. I thought that maybe I would work on it more or think about it more, but it didn't! Is daily the best? mikey
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I post chapters daily, and maybe once a week have to skip a day for real life. LOL! I do it because it's all I'm writing now, and I have lots of time. Not true for everyone, I know. I find that the readers get hooked better when they only need to wait one day... two tops.
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That is so true. I was hoping that I would work on it more in terms of editing if I slowed down, but I didn't! I still keep writing off the top of my head. I have to figure out a way to make myself edit!! Yeah, I go crazy when you don't have a chapter ready every day. Hahaha. Of course, you're writing something good... some of the other stuff doesn't seem as compelling!!
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What a nice thing to say about my screwy bizarre mess of a book... LOL! I'm just having fun with it... not taking it too seriously. The first four novels I wrote were "real" books about real people, but devils and demons and angels are more fun, I have found. Now I'm spoiled and should get back to my mystery novel when I leave this one. But it won't be the same. I'll miss Hell. LOL!
