The Whore War of 1871
Part 1 of a 2-parter.50 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
It takes about a sentence before I forget reviewing and just enjoy the great story. Only a couple people on the site have that ability. That is really what writing should be about. I know the skills are part of it and they come first. But, this is a great story and it engages the reader right away and doesn't let go. mikey
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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It takes about a sentence before I forget reviewing and just enjoy the great story. Only a couple people on the site have that ability. That is really what writing should be about. I know the skills are part of it and they come first. But, this is a great story and it engages the reader right away and doesn't let go. mikey
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Mikey. reading for enjoyment? You can't give me a better compliment than that. The best skill is to be able to move aside and let the story stand on it's own. It doesn't always work out, but Hemingway wrote some stinkers, too.
Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Spitfire
Would you believe it? I can't wait to hear the second part of this. Again, your mind-blowing images and similes:horizontal howdy, the line of men leading up the stairs...as uninterrupted as the circlin' of the sun to name a couple. You are also the master of hyperbole--hiring a band to drown out orgasmic sounds. I love the theme of whores teaching "women's tricks" and the line:Cowboy, you could barely find in and out if I didn't draw you a map."
Mae Belle is a great business woman amongst her other talents.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Would you believe it? I can't wait to hear the second part of this. Again, your mind-blowing images and similes:horizontal howdy, the line of men leading up the stairs...as uninterrupted as the circlin' of the sun to name a couple. You are also the master of hyperbole--hiring a band to drown out orgasmic sounds. I love the theme of whores teaching "women's tricks" and the line:Cowboy, you could barely find in and out if I didn't draw you a map."
Mae Belle is a great business woman amongst her other talents.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Shari. Can you believe it? I'm writing about 'bits and pieces' and 'women's tricks'. I suspect I'll find myself in Hell one day and be told I brought it on myself. That was my first wife's theme song. No, there was never a second wife. I prefer to live vicariously.
Thank you for the galaxy, Shari. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace, Lee
Comment from Bill Schott
So funny! All of the lingo and dry humor throughout was amazing. I didn't want the story to end. I'm still not sure it has ended since the title war has not even occurred. The only phrase I questioned was 'hyper-humper' which seemed out of place in the period or dialog. Enoch tells a great story.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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So funny! All of the lingo and dry humor throughout was amazing. I didn't want the story to end. I'm still not sure it has ended since the title war has not even occurred. The only phrase I questioned was 'hyper-humper' which seemed out of place in the period or dialog. Enoch tells a great story.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Bill. Please be adivsed that I just posted the end of the story. You're right about hyper. I questioned it myself when I wrote, but I hoped to sneak it by. Spoil sport!
Again, Bill, thank you. I hope you like The Climax.
Peace, Lee
Comment from JBCaine
Hump-
Frankly, Sir, I am aghast at all this pokin' and humpin' goin' on around here. Why, I'd a thought a fine gentleman such as yerself'd be above all that.
Last I read you was still samplin' all the colors of Crayola, and now you is gone an' become a stickler fer one set o' bits an' pieces.
I say try the peach pie, it sounds delicious.
In all seriousness now, I saw nothing I would bother changing, and as usual, enjoyed the read considerably. Looking forward to the next installment. Many a man-Jack has discovered they was mad after it was already too late. Sad thing to watch, but makes a dang fine story.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Hump-
Frankly, Sir, I am aghast at all this pokin' and humpin' goin' on around here. Why, I'd a thought a fine gentleman such as yerself'd be above all that.
Last I read you was still samplin' all the colors of Crayola, and now you is gone an' become a stickler fer one set o' bits an' pieces.
I say try the peach pie, it sounds delicious.
In all seriousness now, I saw nothing I would bother changing, and as usual, enjoyed the read considerably. Looking forward to the next installment. Many a man-Jack has discovered they was mad after it was already too late. Sad thing to watch, but makes a dang fine story.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Aghast! Now that's a word I need to work into my everyday vocabulary with more regularity.
Thanks, JB. Yeah, I'm partial to peach pie.
Just posted The Climax. I hope you enjoy. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sasha
Being an ex-escort (see how I slipped that in?) I could relate to a lot of what you said and I have to tell you, you had me rolling on the floor with laughter with this one. What a fun, delightful, and entertaining story. I enjoyed this immensely. Marvelous imagery and dynamite dialogue too. I can hardly wait until part 2. Great work with this one.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Being an ex-escort (see how I slipped that in?) I could relate to a lot of what you said and I have to tell you, you had me rolling on the floor with laughter with this one. What a fun, delightful, and entertaining story. I enjoyed this immensely. Marvelous imagery and dynamite dialogue too. I can hardly wait until part 2. Great work with this one.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, Sasha. Added to your handle, I see. When are you going to add Valerie? Ex-escort. Me too. I was in the ad business. So glad this ticked your funny bone.
Hope like The Climax! Peace, Lee
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Yes, I am off to read it now...been busy with trying to fix my bloody Hotmail account....
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I'm glad I don't work for Hotmail about now.
Comment from Cian Mateo
What a fun read!
...'but them other things that go bare in the night.'
...the horizontal howdy.
You had me chuckling from start to finish. I look forward to part two.
Cian
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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What a fun read!
...'but them other things that go bare in the night.'
...the horizontal howdy.
You had me chuckling from start to finish. I look forward to part two.
Cian
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Cian. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Norbanus
What a yarn, Lee. Poor Mad Jack couldn't help humping himself into the poor house. Outstanding character in Ms Belle she sure knows how to advertise her wares. I can't imagine how you can add to this in the final act, but I'm looking forward to it.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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What a yarn, Lee. Poor Mad Jack couldn't help humping himself into the poor house. Outstanding character in Ms Belle she sure knows how to advertise her wares. I can't imagine how you can add to this in the final act, but I'm looking forward to it.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Norbanus. Glad you enjoyed this. Hope you like The Climax, too. Peace, Lee
Comment from Max Edon
I thought that this was a great little story. I liked the style in which it was written--it was very authentic. I want to read the next part.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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I thought that this was a great little story. I liked the style in which it was written--it was very authentic. I want to read the next part.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Max. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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You are welcome
Comment from AAud
This is a riot! I laughed out loud the whole way through!! There were so many clever turns of phrase: "the horizontal howdy"; "the noise was a vexin' wonderment and temptation."
The narrator's voice is pitch perfect for full humorous effect! I'm so glad Mammy taught you not to mince words, because your word choice is so FUNNY!!
Even the plot is a hoot with Jack hiring all those musicians to drown out the "whore's exuberance" and humping his way to the poor house. Can't wait for part two!!!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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This is a riot! I laughed out loud the whole way through!! There were so many clever turns of phrase: "the horizontal howdy"; "the noise was a vexin' wonderment and temptation."
The narrator's voice is pitch perfect for full humorous effect! I'm so glad Mammy taught you not to mince words, because your word choice is so FUNNY!!
Even the plot is a hoot with Jack hiring all those musicians to drown out the "whore's exuberance" and humping his way to the poor house. Can't wait for part two!!!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you again, AAud. It's a please to write for such an appreciative audience. Much appreiated in return. Peace, Lee
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Well looks like we have a fun-poking-shindig western going on here, Lee. Like the way the story goes. Good narration, colourful characters and above all a very deep story. No pun intended. Might wanna put some restriction for them sensitive readers, partner.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Well looks like we have a fun-poking-shindig western going on here, Lee. Like the way the story goes. Good narration, colourful characters and above all a very deep story. No pun intended. Might wanna put some restriction for them sensitive readers, partner.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Schalk. Screw the sensitive readers, my friend. My title is warning enough. You know I'm not egregiously lewd.
So why do other people label their prompts, 'Keep it clean'?
Censorship on a writing site is egregious.
Fuck the sensitive readers who would burn books.
Sorry, Schalk. You struck a fuckin' nerve. Ain't you, man.
Peace, Lee
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No problem. Like you I get pissed with the 'Famstory Police' with their righteous quest. Especially when it comes to poetry. If you, as a writer, wrote a piece then it is your decision how you want to write it or what it is about. Otherwise don't fucking read the piece. I think your piece was brilliant. You took a ;taboo; subject and formed a satirical story out of it. Bravo, brother.
Keep the creative juices flowing
Schalk
