Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "He"poems inspired by Psalm 23
49 total reviews
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a beautifully written poem. It has a great flow and rhyme scheme.
He must have wept to hear that cry,
"You have forsaken me. Oh, why?"
Into His eyes, tears must have crept
to hear that cry. He must have wept.A beautiful overall presentation. Amazing write.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This is a beautifully written poem. It has a great flow and rhyme scheme.
He must have wept to hear that cry,
"You have forsaken me. Oh, why?"
Into His eyes, tears must have crept
to hear that cry. He must have wept.A beautiful overall presentation. Amazing write.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Joanne Gill-Maddick,
Thank you for the wonderful six stars to brighten my day. I appreciate you letting me know what you liked so I know what works.
Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from Mintybee
This poem was heartfelt, and tugged at a parent's heartstrings. It looks at the deep emotion of an overwhelming moment, and it does it well. The flow is good, and allows the poem to feel meditative.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This poem was heartfelt, and tugged at a parent's heartstrings. It looks at the deep emotion of an overwhelming moment, and it does it well. The flow is good, and allows the poem to feel meditative.
Mintybee
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Mintybee,
Thank you for the excellent analysis and encourging comments.
Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
It is impossible to imagine witnessing the death of a child, especially such a brutal death as crucifixion! The idea that Christ was in, fact forsaken does not therefore seem credible!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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It is impossible to imagine witnessing the death of a child, especially such a brutal death as crucifixion! The idea that Christ was in, fact forsaken does not therefore seem credible!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Sara Das Gupta,
That was my thought. The Father had to be watching, though he had to appear absent. Thank you for your insightful comments.
Debi
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I agree. Good wishes from a nice April evening in Cambridge!
Comment from Boogienights
This is a beautiful poem about love and sacrifice. God did give his only son that we might be saved, although I've always questioned why this had to happen. I enjoyed your poem very much.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This is a beautiful poem about love and sacrifice. God did give his only son that we might be saved, although I've always questioned why this had to happen. I enjoyed your poem very much.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Boogienights,
Thank you for your insightful comments and the question to ponder.
I appreciate you taking the time to stop by to read and review.
Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from heavenempress
Excellent piece of work and especially the salvation story. It's so personal a battle he fought for each and every one of us.Well done in your presentation. Words rich in wisdom. I highly recommend your work to others
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Excellent piece of work and especially the salvation story. It's so personal a battle he fought for each and every one of us.Well done in your presentation. Words rich in wisdom. I highly recommend your work to others
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi heavenempress,
Thank you for the insightful comments and the encouring comments about the poem.
Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This poem is outstanding in use of the tools of the poet, as well as the deep thoughts that are presented. This was a perfect poem for our thoughts of the Father's heart for the crucifixion.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This poem is outstanding in use of the tools of the poet, as well as the deep thoughts that are presented. This was a perfect poem for our thoughts of the Father's heart for the crucifixion.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Verna Cole Mitchell,
Thank you for the amazing six stars and your analaysis of the writing. I appreciate your insightful comments about the Father's heart.
Debi
Comment from Bill Schott
This swap quatrain, He, has the proper formatting and honors the Easter season with this remembrance of God's sacrifice for the salvation of mankind.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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This swap quatrain, He, has the proper formatting and honors the Easter season with this remembrance of God's sacrifice for the salvation of mankind.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Bill Schott,
Thank you for the analysis of the poem's format and content. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
Debi
Comment from Ginda Simpson
We seldom think of God the Father and how He grieved to watch His son take on the sins of the world by suffering and dying on the cross. Tears of sorrow, for sure. Tears of a father's pride?
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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We seldom think of God the Father and how He grieved to watch His son take on the sins of the world by suffering and dying on the cross. Tears of sorrow, for sure. Tears of a father's pride?
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Ginda Simpson,
Thank you for your insightful comments. Yes, I hadn't thought about the tears of pride, but I have to agree with you on that. Thank you for the excellent analysis and giving me something else to ponder.
Debi
Comment from Eternal Muse
That was absolutely gorgeous. And so timely, at the time of Easter. Your spiritual verse was a delight to read and review. It sounds like some poetic form, with its repetitions - is it or have I imagined it? Absolutely delightful.
Great message here. Loved the imagery, visuals and presentation, and thank you for your author notes.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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That was absolutely gorgeous. And so timely, at the time of Easter. Your spiritual verse was a delight to read and review. It sounds like some poetic form, with its repetitions - is it or have I imagined it? Absolutely delightful.
Great message here. Loved the imagery, visuals and presentation, and thank you for your author notes.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Eternal Muse,
Thank you for the six stars. I appreciate the encouraging comments. Thank you for mentioning the author notes too.
In answer to your question:
This form is called a Swap Quatrain. It is made of as many or as few quatrains as you choose to write. The first line is broken in two--usually halfway through and presented as a swap in the fourth line of the quatrian. For example,
Line one: He must have wept to hear that cry
becomes
Fourth line: To hear that cry, He must have wept
The rhyme scheme is aabb in each quatrain.
He must have wept.
Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from Faith Williams
A wonderful swap quatrain. I'm not sure that I've ever considered how God felt in that moment. I've only ever considered Jesus' suffering to have all the sins of humanity upon him. I think you say it all with your last line, 'When loved ones grieve, it rends the heart.' Thank you for sharing. May your Easter be filled with hope and love.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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A wonderful swap quatrain. I'm not sure that I've ever considered how God felt in that moment. I've only ever considered Jesus' suffering to have all the sins of humanity upon him. I think you say it all with your last line, 'When loved ones grieve, it rends the heart.' Thank you for sharing. May your Easter be filled with hope and love.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023
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Hi Faith Williams,
Thank you for your encouraging comments about the verse and insightful remarks on the topic. I hope your Easter was wonderful.
Debi
