A Tiger Roused Me from My Sleep
rhyming quatrains in 8/7/8/7143 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Brooke,
Nice piece of Children poetry fulfilling the prescribed norms and beautifully depicting a child's dream.
Simple and matching the theme wording.
Smooth flow having lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
The most striking words are:
"The growl he growled....."
&
"I haven't much to say, my friend,
but ask my word be taken --
the snarling tiger and his teeth
were gone when I awakened"
Excellent!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Hello Brooke,
Nice piece of Children poetry fulfilling the prescribed norms and beautifully depicting a child's dream.
Simple and matching the theme wording.
Smooth flow having lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
The most striking words are:
"The growl he growled....."
&
"I haven't much to say, my friend,
but ask my word be taken --
the snarling tiger and his teeth
were gone when I awakened"
Excellent!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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RP, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from James Dooney
This is quite a nice one and I like it also because you have gone a little longer with this one. In the length you have gotten deeper into the work and its structure becomes stronger. Well done !
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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This is quite a nice one and I like it also because you have gone a little longer with this one. In the length you have gotten deeper into the work and its structure becomes stronger. Well done !
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you, James, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Generally poems that tell a story run longer. Brooke
Comment from JonnyRhymes
Would "I'd never trembled like that night..." be better / more grammatically accurate in this context?
An outstanding and creatively written poem with fantastic imagery - a pleasure to read!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Would "I'd never trembled like that night..." be better / more grammatically accurate in this context?
An outstanding and creatively written poem with fantastic imagery - a pleasure to read!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Jonny, thank you so very much for your thoughtful feedback and generous rating. I will check out that line. Brooke
Comment from mfowler
Like this one a lot, Brooke. It seems to be about fears and bad dreams. The tiger of your terror is the symbolic element of fear. I love some of your rhymes in this especially:
A tiger roused me from my sleep --
his teeth were homicidal.
I doubted I would see the dawn,
scant hope for my survival.
What I liked about this also is that while it could be another children's poem with a darker edge, it is also a very good adult poem about facing/not facing fears.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Like this one a lot, Brooke. It seems to be about fears and bad dreams. The tiger of your terror is the symbolic element of fear. I love some of your rhymes in this especially:
A tiger roused me from my sleep --
his teeth were homicidal.
I doubted I would see the dawn,
scant hope for my survival.
What I liked about this also is that while it could be another children's poem with a darker edge, it is also a very good adult poem about facing/not facing fears.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Mark, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Aussie
Fantastic plastic! Very lifelike tiger - enough to make you drop your ice-creams. Best stanza - I hadn't brought my sword to bed, from dragons I'd been slaying -- not that a sword could stop those fangs the tiger was displaying. Well done nana.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Fantastic plastic! Very lifelike tiger - enough to make you drop your ice-creams. Best stanza - I hadn't brought my sword to bed, from dragons I'd been slaying -- not that a sword could stop those fangs the tiger was displaying. Well done nana.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Kay - so glad you like the tiger and the drama :-) Brooke
Comment from rjuselius
this is like a kiddie's horror story:) i really love the rhyming and the rhythm. this is a pure gem!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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this is like a kiddie's horror story:) i really love the rhyming and the rhythm. this is a pure gem!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, rebekka. I appreciate your take on the poem and your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from Leineco
Don't you just hate that split second moment between
sleeping and awake, when you've been having frightful
dreams and you're not quite sure which represents
reality!!!??!!
I like that this is a great poem for kids too (once
they've reached a certain age anyway) :-)
As always, great rhyme and cadence (not to mention imagery) :-)
P.S. Tell Miranda - Great picture!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Don't you just hate that split second moment between
sleeping and awake, when you've been having frightful
dreams and you're not quite sure which represents
reality!!!??!!
I like that this is a great poem for kids too (once
they've reached a certain age anyway) :-)
As always, great rhyme and cadence (not to mention imagery) :-)
P.S. Tell Miranda - Great picture!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Leineco. I agree, not a poem for three year olds :-) Brooke
Comment from His Grayness
Dear Brooke: one of the best in the series to be sure and again I apologize for not having the six it deserves! I found it poetically perfect and not expecting less from you of course. This will be a real favorite in Sawyer's book!! Really great~ Vance
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Dear Brooke: one of the best in the series to be sure and again I apologize for not having the six it deserves! I found it poetically perfect and not expecting less from you of course. This will be a real favorite in Sawyer's book!! Really great~ Vance
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Vance, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from J.Byers
This makes me think of childhood nightmares, often so vivid and terrifying at the time, that sometimes seem a little silly when we wake up. Sometimes, at work, the older babies wake up crying, calling out for me, or my room leader, and they tell us they've had a bad dream, but I've often found it's nothing a cuddle won't fix. I loved your descriptions of the tiger, with words like homicidal and ivories, these were clever adjectives, and added to the mood of your poem.
Blessings,
~ J.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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This makes me think of childhood nightmares, often so vivid and terrifying at the time, that sometimes seem a little silly when we wake up. Sometimes, at work, the older babies wake up crying, calling out for me, or my room leader, and they tell us they've had a bad dream, but I've often found it's nothing a cuddle won't fix. I loved your descriptions of the tiger, with words like homicidal and ivories, these were clever adjectives, and added to the mood of your poem.
Blessings,
~ J.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, J, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from DALLAS01
Loved the last stanza. A great story told in wonderful rhyme and rhythm. I think my favorite rhyme scheme, especially in children's poetry, is the 8/7/8/7 quatrain. It lends itself to memorization.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Loved the last stanza. A great story told in wonderful rhyme and rhythm. I think my favorite rhyme scheme, especially in children's poetry, is the 8/7/8/7 quatrain. It lends itself to memorization.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Dallas, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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:.)
