Comment from RPSaxena

Excellent

Hello Brooke,
Thought provoking nice piece of poetry having spontaneously musical flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Good alliteration with ' bees/buttercup; squirrels/scurry;'
"but there's one thing I can't ignore
the up is nowhere near the floor,..."
Excellent!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

RP, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

hmmm good proximate rhyme with down and found good repetition of the theme line.
capital B maybe for but with the new verse..good poem for the kids book of adewpearlers.. kids will enjoy this it nearly reads like a tongue twister! lol

thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thanks so much, Dip - I did not capitalize because I was using enjambment to keep the flow of that thought going from stanza to stanza. Brooke :-)

reply by DR DIP on 03-Jul-2014

whatever

xxdip

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Loved the curiosity in this. Wondering where up is. I remember as a child wondering how different it would be to up in the clouds looking down. For some reason I pondered that for many years. Now that I've flown, I know.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Gretchen, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from persevere

Excellent

What a delightful quatern! You have cleverly , and most realistically told it from a child's point of view. And, of course,Sawyer completes the creative production.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

persevere, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Diny

Exceptional

Such a fun one! Brook! great graghic picture as well- Even with this silly sort of tale you show us poetry at its finest- Again I am blessed- Write on and often- Di

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Di, thank you so very much :-) I truly appreciate your encouraging and generous rating. Brooke

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Brooke, You are so talented. I am always amazed
at what you come up with. I wonder how thick
Sawyer's book of poems is getting.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

heyjude, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi Brooke,
I do love your musings about things that we take for granted :)
This quatern is lovely. I particularly enjoyed your use of alliteration with the scurrying squirrels and all the 'b's in stanza 1.
My favourite line is 'I cannot find where up is found' - don't know why but it just made me smile, that's all :)
Love the photo of Sawyer and Nora, just happy being them :)
Kindest regards as always, Debra

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Debra, thank you so very much :-) Brooke

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

This beautifully written quatern made me laugh, Brooke. I love the simple child's philosophizing. Such deep thoughts for a summer's day. :D Nancy

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you, Nancy, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is a very intriguing poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. I can't help thinking that the further we go down we actually start to go up because we are living on a sphere. This is getting me thinking. ��

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Tomes, thank you so very much :-) Brooke

reply by Tomes Johnston on 04-Jul-2014

My pleasure

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Children would love the repetition here and also the word play on 'the up', but I see you have labelled it as something deeper so I suppose I'll have to look for a message - is it 'don't let the squirrel steal your sundae and run up the tree to share it with the birds?'

Steve

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Good try at the message, my friend, but keep trying LOL
Thanks so much, Steve :-) Brooke