Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

A clever poem where the subject of your writing is so appropriate for the style of a quatern, down, down and down. Near rhyme down/found but the couplets work well together. Perfect picture, or course, of Sawyer pointing 'down'. A good read. Regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Dorothy, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from rod007

Excellent

A wonderful poem which goes into the depths of a child's imagination. The repetition of the line;
'as I go down and down and down.' adds great impact and emphasis on the quest for the 'up.' Well done, Brooke.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from RYME4U

Exceptional

So cute. It looks like little Sawyer has his bottom 'up' in the picture. Ha Ha. This is so cleverly written and is very logical when you think about it.Perfect rhyme and rhythm, of course, `Great job

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

RYME4U, thanks so very much for your generous rating :-) Brooke

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

It's easier to go down than up - and that's for sure! I'm definitely at the stage of wondering what else I can do while I'm down there! Behind the whimsy of this poem there is a sad truth, that when we are down it is sometimes difficult to remember where or what 'up' is - or how to get there again.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

thank you so much, tfawcus, for your insightful reading of this poem :-) Brooke

Comment from Andrewajgblue

Excellent

This is a great quatern, it's humourous and fun, your repeat line works really well in this children's poem, as always your rhyming is perfect,it's a pity you can't enter two in the competition, as this is great,
Andrew

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Andrew, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

your clear visuals let the reader see and feel that down is right down at the bottom and up is nowhere near

good AA/BB rhyme

good enjambment through sentences

good alliteration through out lines

flows

cheers..Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Smoothiecool, thank you so much :-) Brooke

reply by Smoothiecool on 02-Jul-2014

always welcome..SC >>Faye

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

This is great Brooke, I keep studying your wonderful poems, trying to glean a few hints, but you make it look so easy that there aren't any! (does that make sense to you) this is a wonderful poem with really excellent rhyme and rhythm, and that flow, is to die for!

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Eric, thank you so much :-) Brooke

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Gorgeous photo, and you captured the way toddlers think. Sawyer is looking everywhere for where up is, but can't find it. An other nice quatern.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thanks so very much, Ine :-) Brooke

Comment from Capricorn30

Excellent

I remember the days when I could bend and move like this!
A well-crafted children's poem incorporating good alliteration:
"bees"; "buttercup";
"squirrels scurry" which also serves as good visual imagery;
Nature parallels children at play--both moving fast as they go about their busy days.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Capricorn, thank you. I don't think I can remember the time I could move like this. LOL Brooke :-)

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

What a FUN poem! Kids would LOVE hearing this one over and over. You can write a brilliant poem about ANYTHING.

How's that book coming along? :)

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014

Thanks so very much, my encouraging friend :-) Brooke