Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Sota Moon, Part 1"Murder Mystery
44 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
It gets more and more complicated the further you go and very thrilling. The photo goes great with it. Now they finally have the serial killer: Edward Pearce.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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It gets more and more complicated the further you go and very thrilling. The photo goes great with it. Now they finally have the serial killer: Edward Pearce.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hi, Ine. So good to hear from you. In fact, I just thought of you the other day and here you are! Can you believe I am still writing this novel LoL? The end is in sight, though.
Thanks for your encouragement and generosity. Means a lot to me.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Sonaleeka
Very nicely written.I am glad got a chance to read such a great piece.I dont think i am the write person to review it.
As I am so new to writing.
God bless!Have a nice day
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Very nicely written.I am glad got a chance to read such a great piece.I dont think i am the write person to review it.
As I am so new to writing.
God bless!Have a nice day
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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You are the perfect person to review, Sonaleeka. I love getting varying points of view. It gives me a good barometer for the writing. So, thank you much! :) Bev
Comment from CR Delport
No wonder Father Brian didn't want to go with Jana. He also knew she would stop him. At least Edward Pearce is dead. This is another excellent chapter. Spotted no obvious errors.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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No wonder Father Brian didn't want to go with Jana. He also knew she would stop him. At least Edward Pearce is dead. This is another excellent chapter. Spotted no obvious errors.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, CR. Jana will have much more difficulty with Rick's situation. Hey, just what this novel needed, more tension LoL. :)
Comment from JW
Once again, I find myself at the end of another new chapter without any suggestions to make. You did an excellent job of writing this, Bev.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Once again, I find myself at the end of another new chapter without any suggestions to make. You did an excellent job of writing this, Bev.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Joanthon, thank you so much. I always look forward to your reviews. I really appreciate the support. :) Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Oh, Bev, this is an utterly riveting chapter. You are handling these final events with amazing skill. I loved the apparition of Billy. In spite of Edward Pearce's hideous actions, I felt an emotional pang. He is horribly mixed up, but he gave love and felt love at one time in his life. I think this is the sign of a mature and insightful writer. If you can make your readers feel conflicted and emotionally involved in the story, even with the villain, you've accomplished more than most authors.
I thought your last chapter was "seven worthy". This one is "ten worthy." Amazing.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Oh, Bev, this is an utterly riveting chapter. You are handling these final events with amazing skill. I loved the apparition of Billy. In spite of Edward Pearce's hideous actions, I felt an emotional pang. He is horribly mixed up, but he gave love and felt love at one time in his life. I think this is the sign of a mature and insightful writer. If you can make your readers feel conflicted and emotionally involved in the story, even with the villain, you've accomplished more than most authors.
I thought your last chapter was "seven worthy". This one is "ten worthy." Amazing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Phew, thank you so much, buddy. I feel better knowing this chapter worked for you. I felt conflicted about Eddie right up until the end, too. And I love how you described his state.
I so very much appreciate your wonderful review. You're so good to me, and I am honored because I think you're a marvelous writer.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from judiverse
Six-star excitement in this. You have a great presentation of Eddie as he's digging and imagines he sees Billy. Ty shoots him, but that's not the end of the trouble. Father Brian takes off on his own, but reminds Jana that the devil is a shapeshifter. Ty shoots Eddie, but Danika is still unaccounted for. It is interesting that the hound hasn't been seen. I was glad that Tony is still alive. He's an interesting character. I'm curious to learn the implications of Danika still among the missing and Rick's shield has been found. He Rick going to be in danger next? Especially with that shapeshifting thing going on. judi
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Six-star excitement in this. You have a great presentation of Eddie as he's digging and imagines he sees Billy. Ty shoots him, but that's not the end of the trouble. Father Brian takes off on his own, but reminds Jana that the devil is a shapeshifter. Ty shoots Eddie, but Danika is still unaccounted for. It is interesting that the hound hasn't been seen. I was glad that Tony is still alive. He's an interesting character. I'm curious to learn the implications of Danika still among the missing and Rick's shield has been found. He Rick going to be in danger next? Especially with that shapeshifting thing going on. judi
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Judi. Lots going on in this chapter. Yes, Rick is in danger. But, he's set himself on a course of dishonesty so anything can happen. I much appreciate your generosity and support! :) Bev
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You're welcome. Rick seems to be a tricky character. He's pretty brave in some ways, yet some of his actions are questionable. judi
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He's very conflicted and has a great deal of pressure due to a circumstance to be revealed. Just the kind of perfect tool for demonic energy. :)
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Those demons seem to have a lot of energy. judi
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Superhuman strength. The people who do this in the 'real' world have some hair-raising stories to tell. :) Bev
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This is a fascinating story. I love the mix of detective fiction and the supernatural element. judi
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Thanks Judi!! You're the best... Bev
Comment from Dean Kuch
So, with Edward Pearce dead and out of the picture, Father Brian has gone off in search of Rick Morales.
With the Hell Hound nowhere in sight, we are fearful for the priests safety and well being. If it's "out there", on the prowl, and Father Brian encounters it, it might not be a pretty sight.
At least they found Tony Buday alive. Dehydrated and near death, perhaps, but alive nonetheless. Still no sign of Danika Marten, however. And with a blood trail leading out the back of the cabin, that can't be good, especially since they heard a woman's screaming earlier.
Another suspense-filled and entertaining chapter, Bev.
Great work!
Ignoring his own wound, he rushed the cabin's front entrance and kicked in the cabin's entrance.--->having that word "entrance" in such close proximity to each other comes off a bit redundant, Bev. How about simply say, ..."he rushed the cabin's front entrance and kicked it in." Just a suggestion to mull over.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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So, with Edward Pearce dead and out of the picture, Father Brian has gone off in search of Rick Morales.
With the Hell Hound nowhere in sight, we are fearful for the priests safety and well being. If it's "out there", on the prowl, and Father Brian encounters it, it might not be a pretty sight.
At least they found Tony Buday alive. Dehydrated and near death, perhaps, but alive nonetheless. Still no sign of Danika Marten, however. And with a blood trail leading out the back of the cabin, that can't be good, especially since they heard a woman's screaming earlier.
Another suspense-filled and entertaining chapter, Bev.
Great work!
Ignoring his own wound, he rushed the cabin's front entrance and kicked in the cabin's entrance.--->having that word "entrance" in such close proximity to each other comes off a bit redundant, Bev. How about simply say, ..."he rushed the cabin's front entrance and kicked it in." Just a suggestion to mull over.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Hi, Dean. The hound is waiting. I've chosen a special place for our final showdown LoL. Thanks for the great review and helpful suggestions. I hate being redundant! Warmest regards, Bev
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Just a suggestion. I thought the story was g-r-r-e-a-t! :]
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AW, thanks Dean. Means a lot coming from you!
:)
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Well, you certainly don't win book-of-the-month time and time again unless you know what you're doing. After all, I voted for ya'.
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Dean, how kind of you! Thanks for the vote. :)
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Yep, I always vote for you, and Bob (Mastery) if he's in. I kind of trade back and forth, just to be fair. I recognize great talent when I see it. And you, girlfriend, have talent!
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I miss Bob! I'm hoping he gets a contract for his terrific novel. BTW, you're no slouch in the writing department, Dean. Every time I turn around, you're winning contests in a variety of genres. I admire your ability to do so well! :)
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Wohoo! It looks like you've got a wrap on first place, Dean. I know you admire Mike's writing, so I'm sure you don't mind sharing the podium. I'm going to go ahead and congratulate you right now! Well deserved.
:) Bev
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What? Oh, you mean the story of the month? I don't even know what the results are, I'm superstitious that way. I even avoid voting, and do the same for other contests I've entered. Maybe I should, but that's just me. As I say, I'm weird like that. What's the tally, if you don't mind me asking, Bev?
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20 votes for you and MB. That's a lot of votes, Dean. Shows you how much people enjoy your writing and, really, horror in general. Though they always act like it's so painful for them read.
Comment from Aussie
Oooh, what a nasty looking wasp? Some folks believe that the devil controls the nasty critters. It is true about the familiar smells we smell - family and friends surround us and their earthly smells e.g. Giorgio Armani would be to let Eddie know that Billy was around him. Ever had that experience? I do find your story fascinating; bringing the native culture into the story was a brilliant touch. I wrote a series of stories for a little book (not finished yet) called Aboriginal Dreaming - just myths and legends. Love, K.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Oooh, what a nasty looking wasp? Some folks believe that the devil controls the nasty critters. It is true about the familiar smells we smell - family and friends surround us and their earthly smells e.g. Giorgio Armani would be to let Eddie know that Billy was around him. Ever had that experience? I do find your story fascinating; bringing the native culture into the story was a brilliant touch. I wrote a series of stories for a little book (not finished yet) called Aboriginal Dreaming - just myths and legends. Love, K.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Hi, Kay. Funny, I didn't even think of that aspect when I chose that picture. But you're right - especially flies! Thanks for the great review, my friend. I have had the experience of smelling the presence of spirits in my ghost-hunting years. Always fascinating! Much appreciated! Hugs, Bev
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is excellent. I haven't read your previous chapters, but with the help of your author notes, I had no problem identifying characters and understand what was happening. This flows extremely well from scene to scene. Everything you wrote moved the story forward and nothing needed to be reread for clarification. There was nothing that slowed down or stalled out the story. Your dialogue was very real and believable. You also had nice action throughout this piece. Even though this was many chapters in, it still grabbed my interest immediately and kept me engrossed to the finish. You did a fine job of building the suspense and ended at a cliff hanger that is sure to have readers looking for the next installment. Excellent work.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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This is excellent. I haven't read your previous chapters, but with the help of your author notes, I had no problem identifying characters and understand what was happening. This flows extremely well from scene to scene. Everything you wrote moved the story forward and nothing needed to be reread for clarification. There was nothing that slowed down or stalled out the story. Your dialogue was very real and believable. You also had nice action throughout this piece. Even though this was many chapters in, it still grabbed my interest immediately and kept me engrossed to the finish. You did a fine job of building the suspense and ended at a cliff hanger that is sure to have readers looking for the next installment. Excellent work.
Suzanne
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you so very much, Suzanne. I am very honored by this generous and so-encouraging review. Thank you for taking time to read and review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
The best I can do for you is a sixer, but your writing far exceeds that low score. This is very well written was things are beginning to come to an end.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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The best I can do for you is a sixer, but your writing far exceeds that low score. This is very well written was things are beginning to come to an end.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Charlie, what a gracious review! I was a little nervous about this chapter, but you've helped alleviate my concern. I know the story is taking, yet another, twist. But I decided to let my muse have its way. Thanks so much for your generosity and encouragement. Means a lot to me, Charlie. :) Bev
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When you worry about the sincerity of a demon, remember, "The Devil Pays with Counterfeit money." Unfortunately, that is not one of my sayings. You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
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Oh, I really like that, Charlie. Wish I'd come up with that one, too! :) Bev
