Why Do You Hate?
A Wrapped Refrain43 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Steve, I am glad It's Sunday and I have more sixes. This is the most brilliant work I've read in a long time. It brought tears to my eyes with its power, both poetic and the realism of the statement. It is hard to believe these things are happening in the world. Where was God looking? How does he allow violence, guns, murder of innocent civilians; how did He allow concentration camps and atom bombs?
Your Wrap Refrain is flawless, and you've caught a difficult flection in those 12 syllable lines - flows like butter (or should be say, like a River Styx?) lol.
I am so impressed, I can't tell. This is the work which should be published, the world needs to see it. Send it to the newspapers.
Favorite lines:
They spilled their blood on desert sand
to fell a tyrant, take a stand
against the terror your own leaders perpetrate.
And so I ask you once again, "Why do you hate?"
Wow, Steve. You've outdone yourself.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Steve, I am glad It's Sunday and I have more sixes. This is the most brilliant work I've read in a long time. It brought tears to my eyes with its power, both poetic and the realism of the statement. It is hard to believe these things are happening in the world. Where was God looking? How does he allow violence, guns, murder of innocent civilians; how did He allow concentration camps and atom bombs?
Your Wrap Refrain is flawless, and you've caught a difficult flection in those 12 syllable lines - flows like butter (or should be say, like a River Styx?) lol.
I am so impressed, I can't tell. This is the work which should be published, the world needs to see it. Send it to the newspapers.
Favorite lines:
They spilled their blood on desert sand
to fell a tyrant, take a stand
against the terror your own leaders perpetrate.
And so I ask you once again, "Why do you hate?"
Wow, Steve. You've outdone yourself.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Now you know that this sort of stuff will only increase the swelling of my already massive head!
Thank you so much for the six stars and the detailed and thoughtful response.
Steve
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Steve, this was brilliant work. It deserved to win. In my eyes, it is a winner.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Powerful stuff, Steve. This poem (not familiar with the format until now) has a strong thread and tackles some real issues in this seemingly never-ending hate fest between east and west.
Well done.
Av
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Powerful stuff, Steve. This poem (not familiar with the format until now) has a strong thread and tackles some real issues in this seemingly never-ending hate fest between east and west.
Well done.
Av
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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thanks,Av.
I was a little concerned about how this would be received. I have had some disagreement with 'you taught us hate', but generally people accepted it as a piece showing both sides.
Steve
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Well, no kid is born hating anyone. They learn it from their environment, be it parental or political.
Comment from krys123
Steve, this poem to me was a true eye-opener, epiphany and one short of lightning bolt of awareness to your basic statement: "Why do you hate?" Also I found your poem very poignant, powerful and profound especially and within this statement: "... We sent our sons to set you free?...They spill their blood on desert sand?". This is just one of the few
that I found very artistically expressive and brilliantly descriptive.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Steve, this poem to me was a true eye-opener, epiphany and one short of lightning bolt of awareness to your basic statement: "Why do you hate?" Also I found your poem very poignant, powerful and profound especially and within this statement: "... We sent our sons to set you free?...They spill their blood on desert sand?". This is just one of the few
that I found very artistically expressive and brilliantly descriptive.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Alex,thanks so much for your thoughtful response to my piece.
Steve
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You are so sincerely welcome Steve.
Alex
Comment from humpwhistle
And the beat goes on.
Two solid arguments--that can't be argued with. That's the real irony here. I suspect our arguments are always reactionary as opposed to relevatory.
I think you may be hinting at that.
And sometimes, irony is thicker than blood.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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And the beat goes on.
Two solid arguments--that can't be argued with. That's the real irony here. I suspect our arguments are always reactionary as opposed to relevatory.
I think you may be hinting at that.
And sometimes, irony is thicker than blood.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thanks, Lee.
East is east and west is west and there are bloodthirsty bastards in both.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhymes
powerful wrap around refrain lines
excellent meter and good switch over to the 12 syllable lines
Compelling questions that intensify the emotion
I love the question/answer nature of the poem, which shows the sharply contrasting points of view, each view expressed with passion and conviction - definitely a poem worth a six rating :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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strong rhymes
powerful wrap around refrain lines
excellent meter and good switch over to the 12 syllable lines
Compelling questions that intensify the emotion
I love the question/answer nature of the poem, which shows the sharply contrasting points of view, each view expressed with passion and conviction - definitely a poem worth a six rating :-) Brooke
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Brooke, thanks for the thorough review and the six stars - much appreciated. I was half expecting some negative reation to this but it polled better than I thought - just not quite enough to overhaul you and Lorraine - maybe next time.
Steve
Comment from LadyCosgrove
Brilliant!!! It just goes to show that there is nothing to be gained by being an interfering war-monger...on ANY level. Perspective does not translate well across the cultures and never will.
There must be better solutions, ones which do not reflect such bullying tactics.
Fine words, my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Brilliant!!! It just goes to show that there is nothing to be gained by being an interfering war-monger...on ANY level. Perspective does not translate well across the cultures and never will.
There must be better solutions, ones which do not reflect such bullying tactics.
Fine words, my friend.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thanks for the great review and the six stars - much appreciated.
East is east and west is west and there are bloodthirsty bastards in both!
Steve
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There are ...and far too many of them - Makes me ashamed to be human sometimes.
Rx
Comment from strandregs
Dean Kuch says they started it and now we are going to finish it.
A surprising comment.
We know we can't end it.
Look at aphganistan. the british . Russians. America al failed.
Why?
History shows conquering is allwaystemporary..
And where you have warring tribes mixed with religous fanaticism.
Keep away.
Peace. LEE. OOPS. SORRY .Z.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Dean Kuch says they started it and now we are going to finish it.
A surprising comment.
We know we can't end it.
Look at aphganistan. the british . Russians. America al failed.
Why?
History shows conquering is allwaystemporary..
And where you have warring tribes mixed with religous fanaticism.
Keep away.
Peace. LEE. OOPS. SORRY .Z.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Well if you and I can see it so plainly, why can't the dolts in the Pentagon?
East is east and west is west and there are bloodthirsty bastards in both...
Thanks for the review.
Steve
Comment from Eric1
An excellent choice for this wrapped around competition entry kiwisteve, I love the descriptiveness of your stanzas and it flows very well, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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An excellent choice for this wrapped around competition entry kiwisteve, I love the descriptiveness of your stanzas and it flows very well, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thanks, Eric.
Steve
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Welcome Steve.
Comment from rama devi
Potent poem, my friend. What an amazing juxtaposition of POVs. Thought provoking and intense.
Well voiced, well phrased, true to form and very well rhymed, too. Great flow. powerful message, clearly conveyed.
I love the rhyme pair here:
against the terror your own leaders perpetrate.
And so I ask you once again, "Why do you hate?"
Poignant line, well articulated and rhymed:
You taught us hate with bombs and guns
that slaughtered sisters, mothers, sons.
Amazing shift in tone and perspective here:
You say you came to set us free;
my brother, here's the irony: (GREAT RHYME--very effective)
what freedom lies within the darkened prison gate?
In Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, you taught us hate.
The only line whose flow is not as smooth as others (though not awkward either) is:
what freedom lies within the darkened prison gate?
May I suggest trimming and tightening for smoother flow?--
what freedom lies within dark prison gates?
Very potent closing line.
Also, I like the irony of using the word BROTHER in the irony line.
Almost a six.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Potent poem, my friend. What an amazing juxtaposition of POVs. Thought provoking and intense.
Well voiced, well phrased, true to form and very well rhymed, too. Great flow. powerful message, clearly conveyed.
I love the rhyme pair here:
against the terror your own leaders perpetrate.
And so I ask you once again, "Why do you hate?"
Poignant line, well articulated and rhymed:
You taught us hate with bombs and guns
that slaughtered sisters, mothers, sons.
Amazing shift in tone and perspective here:
You say you came to set us free;
my brother, here's the irony: (GREAT RHYME--very effective)
what freedom lies within the darkened prison gate?
In Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, you taught us hate.
The only line whose flow is not as smooth as others (though not awkward either) is:
what freedom lies within the darkened prison gate?
May I suggest trimming and tightening for smoother flow?--
what freedom lies within dark prison gates?
Very potent closing line.
Also, I like the irony of using the word BROTHER in the irony line.
Almost a six.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thanks, Rama
I think the awkwardness is in part decreed by the rules which stipulate 12 syllables in those lines. It is very hard to get them to feel right - something I noticed in other entries.
Thanks as always for the fine review.
Steve
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Ah yes, that makes sense. :) Warm Smiles, rd
Comment from Domino 2
I understand completely what you're saying, Steve, and I absolutely agree.
If a foreign power invaded my country, for whatever reason, I'd be peeved, to say the least - especially if I supported the subsequently ousted regime, whether WE consider it evil or not.
Whoever's fault it was originally, or is now, of course there's absolutely no excuse for murdering innocent civilians, but I guess some underdeveloped, and often extremist religious countries AND minds see it differently.
Of course the West is almost as bad in bombing sites that include civilians - however 'smart' the bombs are.
A refreshingly open-minded look at BOTH side's point of view.
Excellent write.
Cheers, Ray.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I understand completely what you're saying, Steve, and I absolutely agree.
If a foreign power invaded my country, for whatever reason, I'd be peeved, to say the least - especially if I supported the subsequently ousted regime, whether WE consider it evil or not.
Whoever's fault it was originally, or is now, of course there's absolutely no excuse for murdering innocent civilians, but I guess some underdeveloped, and often extremist religious countries AND minds see it differently.
Of course the West is almost as bad in bombing sites that include civilians - however 'smart' the bombs are.
A refreshingly open-minded look at BOTH side's point of view.
Excellent write.
Cheers, Ray.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thanks, Ray.
Yes, my intention was to show that there were multiple perspectives to this war (and any war)
Thanks for the thoughtful response.
Steve
