Comment from J. Dark

Exceptional

Superb. You have captured the imagery of the moment superbly with words and have some nice alliteration too. This is a great entry.

Kindest of regards,

Julie :-) x

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014

Aw thank you Julie for such a lovely review and of course that lovely yellow star :) Haiku is not my forte, so pleased you enjoyed this one! Kindest regards as always, Debra x

Comment from Patti R.

Exceptional

This is the best one I've read so far, Debra. The perfect haiku structure with the first two lines grammatically connecting and the third separate but holds the kernel of truth in the poem. The photo helped me to conjure the image you were going for, although I didn't "need" the photo. Your word choices are so good with a bit of alliteration in river runs and perched/preys. I liked that you used prey, not pray of course, but somehow I imagined nature's creatures praying for clean streams and air ... so ultimately the haiku left me a bit sentimental and regretful of how humans are polluting mindlessly. Just look at that poor heron perched on garbage, look at the mess painted on the bridge, argh!

I hope you win this one, D. You have my vote!

Patti

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014

Hi Patti :) Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. Haiku scares me - the rules are so specific and there is simply nowhere to hide if you get it wrong! I tend to shy away from them normally but thought I'd give it a go this time for some reason! Your fabulous feedback and 6th star gave me a glow - your vote is the cherry on top! Thank you again, so much. Debs x

Comment from Lulube

Excellent

What a great picture of nature taking over a humans dumping spot. Great lines to depict this picture.
good luck in contest

lulube

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks Lulube for your great feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both! Love Debs x

reply by Lulube on 26-Jun-2014

welcome Debra

lulube

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

your syllable count within the contest format

good visual
good alliteration in
river, runs
perched, preys

good message portrayed in few words

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thank you for your lovely feedback. Your good luck wishes are also very much appreciated! Kindest regards as always, Debra :)

reply by Smoothiecool on 27-Jun-2014

most welcome..SC >> Faye

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Ah, this haiku has imagery both beautiful and sad - "declining beauty spot..." << so easy to visualize. It satisfies the prompt in a very lovely way, with the contrast between the gorgeous heron and the "spot' that has been spoiled. Very clever. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you Dawn for your great feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both! Kindest regards as always, Debra :)

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

Hi Debra,how said what has happen to so many of the beautiful places in our world...maybe the rivers and the rains can wash away the garbage ...very nicely written...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you Linda for your great feedback :) Kindest regards as always, Debra :) x

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Ah! Taking the darker side I see. I actually like this getting in the face of the "pretty, serene" haiku pre-prejudice. Contrary to the preponderance of belief - the point of haiku is to show ALL sides of nature. To paraphrase the Eastwood movie - the, good, the bad and even the ugly. What I love about this is that even though no human element was cited - you have used haiku to how man's impact on nature. A very creative approach. And well written :-) (perched heron was very clever ;-)

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks Lorraine for your great feedback :) I appreciate it! Love Debs

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

Best to you in the contest. I like this short poem. The count is right on. The photo is rewarding. Thank you for sharing. Blessings

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you Ben for your comments and best wishes. I appreciate both. Kindest regards, Debra :)

Comment from Delahay

Exceptional

This short poem sends a beautiful message that goes so well with the picture you chose to accompany your work. The way we throw our trash around is a disgrace.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Hi WardHays :) Thank you so much for your great feedback and 6 star review. I truly appreciate both! Kindest regards, Debra :)

Comment from Connie C

Exceptional

I really like, Debra, how your poem addresses what we humans have done to nature. In spite of the trash or other things we might find in this river, it continues to flow anyway. It appears to me that you've followed the requirements of this contest very well, and I hope you do well in the contest.
My best to you, as always.
Connie xx

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Hi Connie :) Thank you so much for your great feedback and 6 star review. I truly appreciate both along with your good luck wishes! Kindest regards, Debra :)