Somebody Thinks
a rhyming poem in mixed meter153 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Your usual beautifully crafted poem, except there wasn't the usual flow, and I loathe to suggest anything to somebody as normally as exacting as you, you could probably lose some syllables and gain some without losing the integrity of the poem! But then, who am I? But otherwise, great wok! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Your usual beautifully crafted poem, except there wasn't the usual flow, and I loathe to suggest anything to somebody as normally as exacting as you, you could probably lose some syllables and gain some without losing the integrity of the poem! But then, who am I? But otherwise, great wok! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Roy, thank you for your thoughtful feedback. This poem has to be read aloud without the expectation of iambic meter - if you do that it actually has a great flow to it, or at least it does for me. LOL Brooke :-)
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I think perhaps you're right, that's why I was hesitant, I read it in my mind, sometimes people say that about mine, and I wonder how they've read it. As a musician I consider my rhythmic perception to be reasonable! Thank you for coming back, I sometimes think the obsession with syllable count is excessive, particularly in rhythmic poems, syllables are not the only thing that determines rhythm! Blessings, Brooke and thank you, for your response!
Comment from TAB_that's me
I don't know those things either and I'm much older than Sawyer. Ah, the wonders of the world. I'd love to know what I now know but see the world if only for a little while through the eyes of child again. Wonderful poem.
Teresa
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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I don't know those things either and I'm much older than Sawyer. Ah, the wonders of the world. I'd love to know what I now know but see the world if only for a little while through the eyes of child again. Wonderful poem.
Teresa
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Teresa :-) Brooke
Comment from nomi338
There are lots of things I do not know
Why the rain falls, why the winds blow
There is one thing that I know for sure
My sad feelings your writing will cure.
I no longer remember which comedian spawned the phrase, but it fits really well in this case. The phrase "You go girl!" I cannot encourage you enough, I am just knocked out by your immense talent.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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There are lots of things I do not know
Why the rain falls, why the winds blow
There is one thing that I know for sure
My sad feelings your writing will cure.
I no longer remember which comedian spawned the phrase, but it fits really well in this case. The phrase "You go girl!" I cannot encourage you enough, I am just knocked out by your immense talent.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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nomi, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from GWHARGIS
It is funny how we just assume that things are obvious and shouldn't have to be explained. Great imagery with the different things the narrator has to learn about. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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It is funny how we just assume that things are obvious and shouldn't have to be explained. Great imagery with the different things the narrator has to learn about. Nicely done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Gretchen, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from lappmellott
I love you poem and the photograph of Sawyer, once again is adorable. It is so true that children, especailly, want to know so much and we, as adults, don't always have the answers. Perhaps sometimes, there simply isn't any. Great job!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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I love you poem and the photograph of Sawyer, once again is adorable. It is so true that children, especailly, want to know so much and we, as adults, don't always have the answers. Perhaps sometimes, there simply isn't any. Great job!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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lappmellott, thank you so much :-)Brooke
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~
This is such a sweet little poem. I really loved the perfect rhymes. This lines are so relatable and true:
'but nobody seems to want to tell
what somebody claims to know so well.'
Great Job!
God Bless~!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Hello there~
This is such a sweet little poem. I really loved the perfect rhymes. This lines are so relatable and true:
'but nobody seems to want to tell
what somebody claims to know so well.'
Great Job!
God Bless~!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Kausar, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
Somebody is part of the great 'they' collective.
They, being a secretive organization that knows just about everything there is to know, yet no one seems to know much about them.
This is a great poem that would delight a young reader as he or she discovers one of life's peculiar conundrums.
Rose
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Somebody is part of the great 'they' collective.
They, being a secretive organization that knows just about everything there is to know, yet no one seems to know much about them.
This is a great poem that would delight a young reader as he or she discovers one of life's peculiar conundrums.
Rose
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Rose - yep "they" are quite an imposing force :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
The young are fully loaded with questions. There elders have to fish for answers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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The young are fully loaded with questions. There elders have to fish for answers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Charlie :-) Brooke
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You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from Sasha
Sawyer should be proud, I still haven't figured out how to dismantle mine. Great poem and delight to read. I enjoyed this one very much.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Sawyer should be proud, I still haven't figured out how to dismantle mine. Great poem and delight to read. I enjoyed this one very much.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Valerie - he dismantles it, takes it out of the table, then parades around with his heavy burden until he makes Miranda place it back in the table so he can dismantle it all over again LOL Thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from krys123
Brooke, what an innocent delightful picture you have chosen this poem. Marvelous in every way this picture is for this poem. A very inquisitive poem of our child is asked questions and how and returned it answers in a derogatory sense. Your rhyming is so well done and neither of your rhymes is labored Or forced and your rhythm distinctively flows smoothly throughout your poem. Thank you for sharing am posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Brooke, what an innocent delightful picture you have chosen this poem. Marvelous in every way this picture is for this poem. A very inquisitive poem of our child is asked questions and how and returned it answers in a derogatory sense. Your rhyming is so well done and neither of your rhymes is labored Or forced and your rhythm distinctively flows smoothly throughout your poem. Thank you for sharing am posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Alex, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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You are so sincerely welcome my friend.
Cheers
Alex
