Should Droughts Deplete the Land
rhyming quatrains in 6//6/8/6129 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
Brilliant device - keeping the third line of each stanza longer. It allows an acceleration into the conclusion of each section. Great us of examples followed by joyful mitigation. I loved reading this one :-).
Mike
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Brilliant device - keeping the third line of each stanza longer. It allows an acceleration into the conclusion of each section. Great us of examples followed by joyful mitigation. I loved reading this one :-).
Mike
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Mike, thank you so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from emrpoems
I won't bemoan my fate,
nor life shall I revile,
for I will always have the joy
I've found within your smile.
Written with Sawyer in mind and I can see why. He is a bundle of joy.
Good abcb rhymes
Excellent use of alliteration
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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I won't bemoan my fate,
nor life shall I revile,
for I will always have the joy
I've found within your smile.
Written with Sawyer in mind and I can see why. He is a bundle of joy.
Good abcb rhymes
Excellent use of alliteration
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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emrpoems, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Dawny53
This author has talent, no doubt about that. She has mastered rhyme and rhythm. This is the second piece of hers that I have read. She could have done better with this one. It was the second stanza that didn't do her justice. She is really talented, but needs to be careful not to become mushy or corny. I owe the author an apology, lack of sleep led to lack of stars. I meant to give this work 5
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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This author has talent, no doubt about that. She has mastered rhyme and rhythm. This is the second piece of hers that I have read. She could have done better with this one. It was the second stanza that didn't do her justice. She is really talented, but needs to be careful not to become mushy or corny. I owe the author an apology, lack of sleep led to lack of stars. I meant to give this work 5
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to review. Having just read your poem, I'm not sure where you draw the line between what is mushy and what is not. Brooke
Comment from Smoothiecool
your well chosen words of all the should questions and if they won't come about why complain
if we have the enjoyment already to remember
good enjambment through lines
good BB rhyme
good alliteration in
droughts, deplete
sand, sea
should, sun
should, stars
clocks, count
cheers..SC >. Faye
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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your well chosen words of all the should questions and if they won't come about why complain
if we have the enjoyment already to remember
good enjambment through lines
good BB rhyme
good alliteration in
droughts, deplete
sand, sea
should, sun
should, stars
clocks, count
cheers..SC >. Faye
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Faye, thank you so much for your careful reading of this poem :-) Brooke
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always welcome..SC >.Faye
Comment from flylikeaneagle
23 June 2014
Adewpearl: I like the what if to the precious smile that you have found. The precious memories of love with our family is priceless. I like your flow and rhythm. I am learning so much from you and your awesome writings that you inspire me. Your son has a beautiful smile too!!! Thank you.
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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23 June 2014
Adewpearl: I like the what if to the precious smile that you have found. The precious memories of love with our family is priceless. I like your flow and rhythm. I am learning so much from you and your awesome writings that you inspire me. Your son has a beautiful smile too!!! Thank you.
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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flylikeaneagle, thank you so much for your generous rating and thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Nosha17
In life as long as we have the warmth of love and friendship it will not matter what is happening around us. I agree, it is quite simple really. Lovely rhymes and choice of words to convey your thoughts. Lovely picture of your wee one, that must have been quite a mouthful for him to take in! Faye
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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In life as long as we have the warmth of love and friendship it will not matter what is happening around us. I agree, it is quite simple really. Lovely rhymes and choice of words to convey your thoughts. Lovely picture of your wee one, that must have been quite a mouthful for him to take in! Faye
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Faye, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from rama devi
Sweet love poem and what fun photos. It's a great word, for sure (super...)
As usual, fine meter and rhyming for musical appeal. Well crafted with good smattering of poetic devices. I like the rhyme pair of bloom and resume as well as the alliteration of D and S in these lines:
Should droughts deplete the land
and sands reclaim the sea,
Enjoyed.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Sweet love poem and what fun photos. It's a great word, for sure (super...)
As usual, fine meter and rhyming for musical appeal. Well crafted with good smattering of poetic devices. I like the rhyme pair of bloom and resume as well as the alliteration of D and S in these lines:
Should droughts deplete the land
and sands reclaim the sea,
Enjoyed.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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rama devi, thank you so much :-) Brooke
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:-))
Comment from Jackarrie
A well written quatrain, with a quatrain pick of Sawyer who always looks so happy,
sad verse
Should stars abandon night
and roses fail to bloom,
Should clocks count down the final hours
of time that won't resume --
Let us hope it will not happen soon
Well done
Mary
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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A well written quatrain, with a quatrain pick of Sawyer who always looks so happy,
sad verse
Should stars abandon night
and roses fail to bloom,
Should clocks count down the final hours
of time that won't resume --
Let us hope it will not happen soon
Well done
Mary
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Mary, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from mfowler
This is a positive poem wrapped up in what seems a series of negative propositions. And that is its cleverness. You ask 'should...' questions about unwanted fates, but you swing it around with the notion that life and happiness have already given you your fill. The clouds rolled away to reveal the sun. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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This is a positive poem wrapped up in what seems a series of negative propositions. And that is its cleverness. You ask 'should...' questions about unwanted fates, but you swing it around with the notion that life and happiness have already given you your fill. The clouds rolled away to reveal the sun. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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mfowler, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, you did it again! I'm so delighted with the photos, I can almost overlook the sorrow written into this beautiful poem...that sun better shine on you for a LONG time to come!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Oh, you did it again! I'm so delighted with the photos, I can almost overlook the sorrow written into this beautiful poem...that sun better shine on you for a LONG time to come!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Dawn, thank you so much for your generous sixth star, my friend :-) Brooke
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Very much my pleasure. :)
