Comment from Tomes Johnston

Exceptional

This is yet another great piece of writing that the author has created with this post. I am on holiday so I won't be reviewing everything but this was worth it. I don't want to spend my holiday on FanStory, but I want to keep in touch. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thank you so much, Tomes. I hope you have an enjoyable & relaxing holiday, my friend!

reply by Tomes Johnston on 23-Jun-2014

Thank you. I will do my best. ��

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Exceptional

No screams, Dean, just pure joy in reading this really lovely poem/story. You could have entered it in both. I love it. The story is sad, yet beautiful, makes me want to go and give the poor man a cuddle, not scream at him!! The illustration at the end, where he is holding his lovely departed wife means to me that God listened to him and brought them together again. A pleasure to read, and best of luck in the contest! xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014

Ha ha, thank you, Sandra. That Pleasant Screams tagline is just my signature. It doesn't always pertain to my writing or its content. I really appreciate you taking time out to read and review this for me. Those six stars are also very nice. Thanks again, Sandra, for everything.

Comment from acerisestory

Exceptional

This is a beautiful poem, Dean! When I saw you'd written it, I knew it would be long -- but well worth the time to read it. Your rhyme, meter and use of enjambment are wonderfully done. The message is one of love and sorrow and sweetness. Good luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

You knew it would be long? A-w-w-w, c'mon, acerisstory. All my stuff ain't too long. Sure, story poems and such, but I write shorter poems, too. Geesh, now you've gone and given me a complex, LOL!

I do appreciate the kind words in your review and exceptional rating. Much obliged!

Comment from sgalletti

Exceptional

Wow Dean! This gets a six from me for the pure effort of it, even though I will offer a few suggestions. Your imagery is excellent. You captured me from the beginning and engaged me throughout. Excellent integration of art work into the piece. You use so many wonderful poetic devices in this piece. I would like to suggest you add an 's' to stay in "in his bed he stay." And, I didn't mind that there was not a really clear meter scheme in the poem except that the one line (Husband and wife...) did jar me a bit. The message is profound and relatable. Sue

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks for the great review, suggestions and exceptional rating, sgalletti, my friend. I've taken your suggestions to heart, and made some changes. I hope it don't come back to bite me in the bum later on.

Thanks again!

Comment from faragon

Exceptional

I really like this poem. It rhymed very well and got you message across in no uncertain terms. So sad to think the old man alone in the house with no one around, so sad to think so many people like that are in the same circumstances. Beautiful poem!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, faragon, and you're right. Many have to endure the loss of a loving spouse after many years together. It's so sad.

Comment from MissBlack

Excellent

I loved this part the most:


His life-long love of fifty years,

who dried his eyes and calmed his fears,

beloved wife, now laid to rest...

yet in the end, God knew 'twas best.

It totally shows how deadly sad the old man is.
Perfect

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, MissBlack. I really appreciate the review.

reply by MissBlack on 25-Jun-2014

My pleasure:*

Comment from Bill Schott

Exceptional

I like this one, Dean. It pulls a tear from me as I imagine how my parents and in-laws felt after losing their lifelong mates and marking time to their reunions. This is a poignant poem that alludes to the sentimental as well as the mystical. Its presentation is nicely set and the final image, even in its macabre implication, is uplifting.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind words and exceptional rating, Bill. it's always nice to hear from you, my friend.

Comment from MizKat

Exceptional

Hi Dean,

This is a beautifully written poem about the old man who lost his wife and wants to die to be with her. The pictures you put up with your poem really added to it. Also your author notes were wonderful.

Kat

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks, MizKat. It's always so wonderful to hear from you, my friend.

God Bless.

Comment from LadyCosgrove

Exceptional

What a wonderful tale ...and so beautifully told! This speaks of a love that become rare in the younger generations, so keen are they, on clear cut perfection.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

So true, M'Lady, so true...

Thanks for the kind review an exceptional rating, my friend. I do appreciate it!

Comment from Bryan G

Exceptional

Powerful. You have beautifully captured the enormous pain of loss. I can feel the despair growing each day measured in the ticking clock. I sense the break with God and the leaning toward the supernatural (graven images) to restore the love lost. What joy when in death they are reunited. True romance. Well done.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Bobby Jo didn't think so too much, Bryan, but it's nice to know that you felt it was pretty good. There's always one in the bunch, I swear to God...

I really appreciate the fine review and exceptional rating, my friend. Much obliged.