Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Excellent pantoum, Steve, that follows all the structures and meter/rhyme required.

Very nicely written theme of how true love lasts.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Ray

Tough contest, as I'm sure you know!

Steve

Comment from Warren Rodgers

Exceptional

Hey Steve,
I knew you would come up with a top-notch entry and you did! Beautiful statement of true long-lasting love. Perfect meter, rhymes, and pantoum sonnet form. I like how you took line six and turned it into a question in the next stanza! Good luck in the voting booth.
All the best, Rodger

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you, Rodger.

Yes, I like manipulating the meaning in the repeating lines.

Contest's looking a bit tough - too many fine entries - like yours, for instance!

Steve

reply by Warren Rodgers on 22-Jun-2014

And yours! Though it doesn't look too good for either of us...

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

What's to say? --all requirements met, mechanical and literate. A very comfortable love, for sure, and a very comfy write. Best of luck in the contest. Kenny

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Kenny.

Steve

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

A Pantoum Sonnet "Forever New" I would have to agree with you on this one. I would rather have a relationship which is calm and burns as serenely as a flame, than have a fling that is all on fire. Well done.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

reply by chasennov on 22-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Steve.

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Exceptional

Beautifully crafted, Steve. I've never seen this form before, but you've made me want to try one. I love the gentle tone and loving words. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Nancy - thanks for the kind words.

By all means, have a go - those repeating lines make it a bit tricky - a bit more editing required than my usual rush job.

Steve

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

This is a beauty, Steve. I enjoyed your fine presentation of the Pantoum style. You have excellent word choices and the perfect artwork. This should be a strong entry in the contest, good luck!

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Dovey

There are many fine entries in this contest - don't think I'm even in the hunt.

Steve

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

A lovely well flowing poem about love a fire that glows more brightly throughout the years is a beautiful and thoughtful piece of inspirational writing.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Eric.

Steve

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Love is often compared to a raging fire. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Charlie.

Steve

reply by c_lucas on 22-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Steve. Charlie

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Outstanding love poem, masterfully crafted in sonnet-pantoum style. Musical, with flawless meter, fine cadence and smooth enjambment, good rhymes--especially sears and years, storm and warm. Fine smattering of alliteration and other poetic devices.

One suggestion:
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Beyond control(,) a raging fire that sears


Great line:
outlasts eternity, forever new.
Well put:

It dazzles then it dies.

Pitch perfect closing couplet:

When poets write of love that's like a storm,
I treasure our fine flame that's safe and warm.

Bravo and good luck :)

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Rama.

I'm sure you will have seen most of the other entries, so you will know how tough this contest will be...

Steve

reply by rama devi on 22-Jun-2014

Yes, indeed! :-)))

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is a beautifully constructed phantoun sonnet Steve, very well written with a finely crafted narrative! It flows extremely well off the pen, and the syllable count is immaculate! The subject matter is woven nicely with smooth flow of words, an altogether good work! Good ababcc rhyming, even meter! Good luck in the contest! Blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thanks, Roy. I appreciate your thoughtful review.

Steve