Forever New
A Pantoum Sonnet61 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Not only is this a very romantic and lovely pantoum/sonnet, it's a wonderful message of enduring love, and what it should be, in my opinion. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Not only is this a very romantic and lovely pantoum/sonnet, it's a wonderful message of enduring love, and what it should be, in my opinion. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Dawn.
Competition is very tough in this, alas!
Steve
Comment from mfowler
There's a lot of truth reeling through this pantoum, Steve. True, poets like to write of passion through imagery like summer storms, but that's really what an affair is made of, not a relationship. The poem will always be more involving when it has those passion elements, but life is not a poem with perfect meter and rhyme. As you so wisely say: Our fire more pure, outlasts eternity, a sure recipe for a great life long love. My comments are purely about the message. The form and technical aspects are perfect, and require no elaboration. All the best in your contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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There's a lot of truth reeling through this pantoum, Steve. True, poets like to write of passion through imagery like summer storms, but that's really what an affair is made of, not a relationship. The poem will always be more involving when it has those passion elements, but life is not a poem with perfect meter and rhyme. As you so wisely say: Our fire more pure, outlasts eternity, a sure recipe for a great life long love. My comments are purely about the message. The form and technical aspects are perfect, and require no elaboration. All the best in your contest.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the thoughtful review - I think the message has struck a chord with many people.
Not much joy in the contest, I'm afraid - the competition is too tough!
Steve
Comment from rjuselius
this is a nice piece of poetic art! poetry sure is a natural high. at least that's what i believe and consider:)
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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this is a nice piece of poetic art! poetry sure is a natural high. at least that's what i believe and consider:)
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Rebekka.
Steve
Comment from sibhus
A storm of love is in reality nothing more the a tornado of lust set to tear everything around it apart. I think you defination of slow burning flame is a sign of true love. Wonderful thoughts in enduring rhymes. Great poem.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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A storm of love is in reality nothing more the a tornado of lust set to tear everything around it apart. I think you defination of slow burning flame is a sign of true love. Wonderful thoughts in enduring rhymes. Great poem.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good use of the sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with sears/years...pure/sure. Good alliteration with love/like...fine/flame...through/the...dazzles/dies...burns/both...strong/sure. Good complimentary photo. Followed by a clear message.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Good use of the sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with sears/years...pure/sure. Good alliteration with love/like...fine/flame...through/the...dazzles/dies...burns/both...strong/sure. Good complimentary photo. Followed by a clear message.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, RR - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from ArtGal
Oh I so agree with you that a love that's a soft, slow flame will outlast a raging fire that's like a storm. Yours will burn on and on, where as the other kind might be more full of lust, but that does die down a bit and can even disappear. Yours can endure for many years, and I believe, can live for all eternity. Love this, and I wish you the best of luck in this contest. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Oh I so agree with you that a love that's a soft, slow flame will outlast a raging fire that's like a storm. Yours will burn on and on, where as the other kind might be more full of lust, but that does die down a bit and can even disappear. Yours can endure for many years, and I believe, can live for all eternity. Love this, and I wish you the best of luck in this contest. . .Sharon
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Sharon, thanks for the kind words.
Steve
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You're very welcome.
Comment from juliaSjames
Oh, this is definitely worth a six, Steve. It's beautifully crafted so that the use of punctuation avoids the potential boredom of the repeating line. Classic pantoum style.
I like the theme of comparing types of love. Makes for an uplifting final couplet.
Exceptional work. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Oh, this is definitely worth a six, Steve. It's beautifully crafted so that the use of punctuation avoids the potential boredom of the repeating line. Classic pantoum style.
I like the theme of comparing types of love. Makes for an uplifting final couplet.
Exceptional work. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Julia - so glad you enjoyed this one.
This contest is exceptionally tough - I doubt if I will get a look in.
Steve
Comment from Tegan1311
A very well written poem. Your words flow well and your message is clear and easy to understand. I like that you compare real love to a flame (steady and true), rather than the overwhelming passionate love which can be storm-like (that kind doesn't last forever) Very well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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A very well written poem. Your words flow well and your message is clear and easy to understand. I like that you compare real love to a flame (steady and true), rather than the overwhelming passionate love which can be storm-like (that kind doesn't last forever) Very well done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Tegan - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from visionary1234
oooh you've done it again - this is lovely Steve! Soooo many good entries in this competition (it's one of my favorite forms - love the focus required to make the repeating lines make sense AND take on a slightly different meaning). Well done, and good luck!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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oooh you've done it again - this is lovely Steve! Soooo many good entries in this competition (it's one of my favorite forms - love the focus required to make the repeating lines make sense AND take on a slightly different meaning). Well done, and good luck!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Sharyn - glad you liked this one.
You are right, there are quite a few exceptional entries for this - doubt if this will even make the podium.
Steve
Comment from seaglass
Your poem about love is my perspective. My experiences of the love like a storm ended as turbulent as it began. My present partner and I share the glow that grows more brightly with time. This poem and a lovely rhyme and a sonnet rhythm. it is just the right length.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Your poem about love is my perspective. My experiences of the love like a storm ended as turbulent as it began. My present partner and I share the glow that grows more brightly with time. This poem and a lovely rhyme and a sonnet rhythm. it is just the right length.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks - glad this touched a chord with you.
Steve
