Bowing to Reality
who is more real - creator or created?31 total reviews
Comment from PearlW
This is great - really I mean it. The way you managed to incorporate the required dialogue (for the contest), worked beautifully. I've read a number of entries for this contest, and almost none of them managed to get it right. You did though.
You also conveyed this man's deranged mind very well. I just read the work of someone who is in a full psychotic break, and it's disturbing to say the least. What's real and what isn't? The line is blurred, or absent, for most of them.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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This is great - really I mean it. The way you managed to incorporate the required dialogue (for the contest), worked beautifully. I've read a number of entries for this contest, and almost none of them managed to get it right. You did though.
You also conveyed this man's deranged mind very well. I just read the work of someone who is in a full psychotic break, and it's disturbing to say the least. What's real and what isn't? The line is blurred, or absent, for most of them.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Pearl :-). When I'm really low, I do wonder about simply slipping into another reality - if we truly embrace it, utterly believe it, could we not persist in that reality, regardless what those around us perceive? It's excellent thought-fodder! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.
Mike
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I don't know - I never gave it much thought. The idea of losing my grip on reality is frightening to me, but there is a part of me that thinks it might be a good solution (as long as reality doesn't interfere to confuse me).
Of course, not so much fun when you're living under a bridge, eating toxic fish to survive. (Yes, I know, I'm always the life of the party.)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
The guy was waaayyyy too wrapped up in his game character... went totally bonkers, ready for a straight jacket. I would hope he's caught soon. But it's a unique story, for sure. Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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The guy was waaayyyy too wrapped up in his game character... went totally bonkers, ready for a straight jacket. I would hope he's caught soon. But it's a unique story, for sure. Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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haha, thank you, Phyllis :-). I think he admired his creation a little too much. It's easy to idolise a life we don't have to live, isn't it? I'm so glad you liked it!
Mike
Comment from c_lucas
One way to separate yourself from your work is to refer yourself in third person form. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your contest.
*****
I'm losing motor control. I have updated you to five stars.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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One way to separate yourself from your work is to refer yourself in third person form. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good luck in your contest.
*****
I'm losing motor control. I have updated you to five stars.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Charlie. I'm really pleased with this one and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm not complaining, but was the 4 star rating intentional? No problem if it was.
Mike
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I have medical problem that causes me to lose control of my limbs. I apologize. I upgraded you to five stars, Mike. Charlie
Comment from pattipac
Your creative story of a young video-game designer, who becomes the main character -the Archer- of his video, argues with corporate representatives about what constitutes reality to marketable software for youngsters, today.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Your creative story of a young video-game designer, who becomes the main character -the Archer- of his video, argues with corporate representatives about what constitutes reality to marketable software for youngsters, today.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Patti - I'm glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from Ric Myworld
Very well written and full of excitement that kept me on the edge of my seat as I struggled to be sure of what is real. Thanks for an entertaining story. :-)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Very well written and full of excitement that kept me on the edge of my seat as I struggled to be sure of what is real. Thanks for an entertaining story. :-)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Ric - I love blending reality and fiction!
Mike
Comment from sibhus
Wow, definitely a different approach to this contest, but it really fits well, espicially with that crappy required line of dialogue. Great since of tensiona nd action in this and it really kept my interest. Great entry for the contest and good luck.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Wow, definitely a different approach to this contest, but it really fits well, espicially with that crappy required line of dialogue. Great since of tensiona nd action in this and it really kept my interest. Great entry for the contest and good luck.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hehe, yes it is an awkward stipulation, isn;t it? So glad you liked it :-)
Mike
Comment from dennis0530
Yes, I enjoyed this. The writer has mixed fantasy and virtual reality into believable tale. And I would like to add yes, correctly conveyed to the page.
To many kids and too many kids believe that virtual reality is reality when they get together to celebrate their victorie on screen.
I guess both the creator and the created are real. The creator because he is the manipulator; and the created because he is given a personality.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Yes, I enjoyed this. The writer has mixed fantasy and virtual reality into believable tale. And I would like to add yes, correctly conveyed to the page.
To many kids and too many kids believe that virtual reality is reality when they get together to celebrate their victorie on screen.
I guess both the creator and the created are real. The creator because he is the manipulator; and the created because he is given a personality.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Dennis :-). I like your answer to the core question - they are both real, and both flawed. They make sense in the environments they were designed for but cannot function when they head into one another's worlds.
Mike
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, Mike.
This charming fellow certainly takes his virtual reality quite seriously, doesn't he? It's guys like this that role-playing games were created for. Of course, I'm not advocating that role playing games cause people to go on arrow-spewing killing quests. All of that media-infused mania about games making our kids killers is a bunch of bunk, I feel. A human being is either rational, and understands that these violent sorts of games are nothing more than fantasy fare, or they're mentally unstable whack-jobs. There are no grey areas where that's concerned.
I would put "The Archer" in the latter category. A deranged mind is a terrible thing to waste, however those who have one sure enjoy wasting others.
Excellent writing. Good stuff!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hey, Mike.
This charming fellow certainly takes his virtual reality quite seriously, doesn't he? It's guys like this that role-playing games were created for. Of course, I'm not advocating that role playing games cause people to go on arrow-spewing killing quests. All of that media-infused mania about games making our kids killers is a bunch of bunk, I feel. A human being is either rational, and understands that these violent sorts of games are nothing more than fantasy fare, or they're mentally unstable whack-jobs. There are no grey areas where that's concerned.
I would put "The Archer" in the latter category. A deranged mind is a terrible thing to waste, however those who have one sure enjoy wasting others.
Excellent writing. Good stuff!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Dean. I totally agree about games - they no more cause violence than rock music or Christianity. Oh, hang on... Lol. I'm an avid fan of games - I think they help articulate thought (and inspire stories). They've been maligned because they were new and the older generation didn't understand them, but that's going away now.
Anyway, I'm really glad you liked it. The Archer himself was born of the old fish out of water concept. In his reality, he's a hero. In ours? Something else entirely!
Mike
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My pleasure, Mike. Great story!
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Mike. You have once again kept this reader at the edge of her seat waiting for what was to come next. I personally like the Archer and his no nonsense approach to life. I got a Kindle finally so much easier to download your writes. Love your work mate. xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Hello Mike. You have once again kept this reader at the edge of her seat waiting for what was to come next. I personally like the Archer and his no nonsense approach to life. I got a Kindle finally so much easier to download your writes. Love your work mate. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Deborah :-). I've been working on my prose recently to get ready for finishing the sequel to Bran's Torment. A couple more shorts and I'll be ready for that. I'm glad you liked this - how much chaos could a videogame hero cause in the physical world?
Mike
Comment from Jay Squires
Very effective writing. You made it easy to read for enjoyment. I could only find one nit and a word I couldn't identify.
His fingers released, sending thirty inches of metal-tipped death into his target's expression." [magnificent image.]
dooiiiing. It might have been funny if it wasn't so close.
[don't know what dooiiiing means.]
Maybe we-" [Only one dash used here. I've noticed you used the correct two dashes elsewhere.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Very effective writing. You made it easy to read for enjoyment. I could only find one nit and a word I couldn't identify.
His fingers released, sending thirty inches of metal-tipped death into his target's expression." [magnificent image.]
dooiiiing. It might have been funny if it wasn't so close.
[don't know what dooiiiing means.]
Maybe we-" [Only one dash used here. I've noticed you used the correct two dashes elsewhere.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Jay :-). The doiinng is onomatopoeia for the sound of an arrow shuddering into a target - like a ruler being twanged on the edge if a desk. I thought if I write it out, the line about it being potentially funny would make mote sense. So glad you liked it, mate!
Mike
